Revolver Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I never heard anyone say a woman is "no longer viable" In the dating world once she hits 30. That's false IMO, but on average she IS past her prime. Doesn't mean she still can't be attractive or won't get dates,it just wont be the same as her 20's Link to post Share on other sites
brahmabull117 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I never heard anyone say a woman is "no longer viable" In the dating world once she hits 30. That's false IMO, but on average she IS past her prime. Doesn't mean she still can't be attractive or won't get dates,it just wont be the same as her 20's Women can be just as hot as 35 as 25 if they're willing to work out enough and take good enough care of themselves That means not partying 6 days a week, drinking and smoking 6 days a week, tanning 6 days a week and actually going into the gym to train with real intensity 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Are you kidding? I speak the honest truth. Women are not hot on the market after 30, period. I never said they can't find love or still be attractive, just not at the peak of their beauty. Learn to accept things as they are, buddy. That is YOUR opinion and thus far YOUR opinion only. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I guess perhaps it's different if you live in a big city, where nearly everyone I know waits til their 30's to get married. So no, I don't feel older than average at all being single. Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Women can be just as hot as 35 as 25 if they're willing to work out enough and take good enough care of themselves That means not partying 6 days a week, drinking and smoking 6 days a week, tanning 6 days a week and actually going into the gym to train with real intensity Can be? Yes but does the average 35 year old look better then the average 25 year old? I don't think so. Eva mendes at 40 looks better then 95% of the 20 year olds out there IMO, but does Eva represent the majority of 40 year old women in the Unites states? I think we can both agree no Link to post Share on other sites
brahmabull117 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Can be? Yes but does the average 35 year old look better then the average 25 year old? I don't think so. Eva mendes at 40 looks better then 95% of the 20 year olds out there IMO, but does Eva represent the majority of 40 year old women in the Unites states? I think we can both agree no yep I totally agree, but my point is that it's not necessarily nature the problem. People just don't want to take care of themselves the way they should which is why both men and women don't look nearly as good at 35 as they did at 25 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Sorry V, No one can reach you here.... In this hole that was started with a negative though process and reinforced over time. It's called confirmation bias and you are looking for it. It means that you begin your "research" with a preconceived notion in mind and keep searching for it, despite all else, until you find it, no matter how absurd the source. Until you accept that there is more then one data point possible, to you there will be no more than one data point possible. In your point, the data point that you are looking for is that you are undesirable and worthless. Even troublesome to others and bound to be unhappy. It's the same type of thinking that keeps an addict addicted. They think that they are normal or that they can't beat it. No other data exists. It's the same thinking pattern that keeps people from trying with the other gender. Same type of thing (sorry woggle) where he would look up articles and Internet stuff for the confirmation bias satisfaction even though his wife was right there night after night. (glad to see you aren't purchasing stock in all of that garbage anymore Woggle!) Sweetie, to throw in the towel, you have to pick it up and give it some genuine, open effort first. Don't bother twisting this either. I see you do that. It doesn't mean that there is something inherently wrong with you. It means the stuff you buy into is hurting you in the long run. Somebody, somewhere must've made you feel pretty ****ty and you've needed that validation ever since. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 That is YOUR opinion and thus far YOUR opinion only. And the opinion of many other men as well. They just aren't online right at this moment to speak out by my side. The number of women over 30 in the desirable category is very low because of obvious reasons. Do I really have to start naming them off my fingertips? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 V., as several people have told you that your attitude is really unconstructive, do you think there might be something to that? As I said in another of your threads, negative people are extremely draining. I'm glad that you're back and I've enjoyed discussing with you in your other threads, so I ask you to not label me a 'hater' or whatever. I'm trying to phrase this as a construtive contribution. But negativity is something that generally puts people off. If your attitude here resembles the attitude you show people in real life, I'm not surprised you're having difficulties. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Women are most desirable in their early to mid 20s. By the time they hit 30, they the powers begin to shift into the men's favor, meaning women need to step it up and start approaching now because she's no longer hot on the market. As far marriage is concerned, women can marry at any age, it really don't matter. The same thing applies to men, so don't worry about that part. I'd be more concerned on finding the proper mate to get this part going. Gonna have to agree with this. The reason 30 is such a benchmark for women is because of pregnancy, pregnancy, pregnancy. Im not going to even get into the arguments regarding superficial aging, as it happens to both men and women, and people can still look hot to trot in their 30s and 40s if they take care of themselves. Pregnancy is the culprit for why the tables turn in a mans favor at this age. And tbh...I dont find it to be in good favor. Women start worrying about finding the right guy and start chasing more because they dont want to have babies too late as it can be problematic. Problematic can be pregnancy issues or having a wrench thrown in her life plans. I know plenty of people have a particular age in mind where they want kids so they arent that much older than their kids growing up. Because of this raise against different clocks, there are a number of women who end up settling for a "good enough" guy and not the guy they are madly in love with. This is where a guys point of view comes in regarding dating and the big 3-0. Men know many women are now in a rush...and the guys looking for love are put on edge at the idea that some girl he cares for might just be settling for him. Who wants that? Because it may not bold well for a happy marriage. Plus with the over 30 crowd, many men, for the first time, know what it feels like to be chased and highly desired...so they play the field and enjoy their pick of the litter. But what will also make them standoffish is that many women will now put a time table on dating, engagement, and marriage because of her desire to get pregnant....and thatll scare a lot of blokes. So I think pregnancy plays into all of this ageism. Ive always said Im open to women a few years older than me, but she would definitely have to be in the same life stage as me. I will say Im a little apprehensive because these chicks are usually ready to settle down and have kids soon, and Im not there yet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 And the opinion of many other men as well. They just aren't online right at this moment to speak out by my side. The number of women over 30 in the desirable category is very low because of obvious reasons. Do I really have to start naming them off my fingertips? How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 And the opinion of many other men as well. They just aren't online right at this moment to speak out by my side. The number of women over 30 in the desirable category is very low because of obvious reasons. Do I really have to start naming them off my fingertips? be my guest. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 No one can reach you here.... In this hole that was started with a negative though process and reinforced over time. It's called confirmation bias and you are looking for it. It means that you begin your "research" with a preconceived notion in mind and keep searching for it, despite all else, until you find it, no matter how absurd the source. Until you accept that there is more then one data point possible, to you there will be no more than one data point possible. In your point, the data point that you are looking for is that you are undesirable and worthless. Even troublesome to others and bound to be unhappy. Don't bother twisting this either. I see you do that. It doesn't mean that there is something inherently wrong with you. It means the stuff you buy into is hurting you in the long run. Somebody, somewhere must've made you feel pretty ****ty and you've needed that validation ever since. Quoted for truth. V, you really only leave space for one correct answer in your threads, the one you want to hear. If we had all told you to throw in the towel right now, would you be happier? Or, happier with us, at least? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Gonna have to agree with this. The reason 30 is such a benchmark for women is because of pregnancy, pregnancy, pregnancy. Im not going to even get into the arguments regarding superficial aging, as it happens to both men and women, and people can still look hot to trot in their 30s and 40s if they take care of themselves. Pregnancy is the culprit for why the tables turn in a mans favor at this age. And tbh...I dont find it to be in good favor. Women start worrying about finding the right guy and start chasing more because they dont want to have babies too late as it can be problematic. Problematic can be pregnancy issues or having a wrench thrown in her life plans. I know plenty of people have a particular age in mind where they want kids so they arent that much older than their kids growing up. Because of this raise against different clocks, there are a number of women who end up settling for a "good enough" guy and not the guy they are madly in love with. This is where a guys point of view comes in regarding dating and the big 3-0. Men know many women are now in a rush...and the guys looking for love are put on edge at the idea that some girl he cares for might just be settling for him. Who wants that? Because it may not bold well for a happy marriage. Plus with the over 30 crowd, many men, for the first time, know what it feels like to be chased and highly desired...so they play the field and enjoy their pick of the litter. But what will also make them standoffish is that many women will now put a time table on dating, engagement, and marriage because of her desire to get pregnant....and thatll scare a lot of blokes. So I think pregnancy plays into all of this ageism. Ive always said Im open to women a few years older than me, but she would definitely have to be in the same life stage as me. I will say Im a little apprehensive because these chicks are usually ready to settle down and have kids soon, and Im not there yet. To be fair, a lot of this is the truth Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 You complain that no one likes you, but why would they? You hate yourself and all you do is walk around convincing others to hate you as well. Fine. You finally convinced me. You're totally unlikable. Happy now? And what do you even want a boyfriend FOR? Because you want to nurture a healthy and happy relationship? Or do you want a mouth piece to sit around all day and all night insisting that you're hot and desirable while you constantly argue with him? Because if it's the later, you're not going to find a man in the world that will put up with that nonsense for any extended period of time. Work on yourself. Even if you DID find a guy at this point in your life, you'd just screw it all up and chase him away with your crippling low self esteem, negativity, and generally poor outlook on EVERYTHING. So, chuck that nonsense and just work on making you and your life something that you can feel proud of. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brahmabull117 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 You complain that no one likes you, but why would they? You hate yourself and all you do is walk around convincing others to hate you as well. Fine. You finally convinced me. You're totally unlikable. Happy now? And what do you even want a boyfriend FOR? Because you want to nurture a healthy and happy relationship? Or do you want a mouth piece to sit around all day and all night insisting that you're hot and desirable while you constantly argue with him? Because if it's the later, you're not going to find a man in the world that will put up with that nonsense for any extended period of time. Work on yourself. Even if you DID find a guy at this point in your life, you'd just screw it all up and chase him away with your crippling low self esteem, negativity, and generally poor outlook on EVERYTHING. So, chuck that nonsense and just work on making you and your life something that you can feel proud of. why do people still try? All she wants to do is have a pity party for herself. She's not going to take any of this advice Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Please make that "some" women. I would much rather find the love of my life, and have a baby as a result of that, than rush into baby-making mode just because I'm 33. I certainly won't feel like a failure if I'm 40 and haven't had a baby. With that said I'm still in the camp of not being sure if I definitely want kids. I like my freedom, I like my money, I like my sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Everyone hits their peak (attractive, sexual etc) at different times. I have yet to hit mine, many women my age haven't hit theirs yet. Some have hit their peak already and are sustaining that peak well, may even stay that way until very old. Some peak early and go down. Whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 Quoted for truth. V, you really only leave space for one correct answer in your threads, the one you want to hear. If we had all told you to throw in the towel right now, would you be happier? Or, happier with us, at least? Yeah, I'd be happier, because then it'd feel like people are finally listening to me. I mean, don't you consider it a little ironic to say that I have only one viewpoint and demand to be correct.... but posters are constantly labeling my problems as "my attitude" and all other evidence is tossed out as irrelevant. So isn't that the exact same thing? For example, it doesn't matter if I told posters that I AM occasionally confident and happy and things still go wrong for me. Posters still continue to insist it's my "attitude." It's so nauseatingly frustrating it makes me want to eat my own head. Are people SO convinced that the only reason people end up single is because of their attitude? Do people really think there can be NO other reason... their physical appearance, their age, their economic situation? Look, I've been trying to accept that no one is ever going to believe me, no matter how much evidence I present, but the very least posters could do is answer my question without it descending yet again into a discussion of all the ways I suck ("God you're so negative", "You have a bad attitude", "I wouldn't date you".... always funny to me how posters just toss off these comments without ever actually addressing HOW someone can have a positive attitude in my situation.) Link to post Share on other sites
brahmabull117 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Everyone hits their peak (attractive, sexual etc) at different times. I have yet to hit mine, many women my age haven't hit theirs yet. Some have hit their peak already and are sustaining that peak well, may even stay that way until very old. Some peak early and go down. Whatever. I think the peak for women if they take great care of themselves is about 25-30 In reality, it's 21-25 because most people do not take good care of themselves Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 And ladies, it isnt the end of the world if you have to use a surrogate one day, or even if you have to adopt (and this isnt much of an issue until late 30s I believe) The baby will be just as much yours. Id rather you have a loving marriage with the right person and raise a child in a loving home, then to settle and be unhappy with the person you raise children with. Hell, look at the bright side...if you never do the preggerz thing, you dont have to worry about the toll it takes on your body. Upside maybe? PS - And sure, as a guy Id want my kid to be of my blood, especially since Im proud of my heritage....but I wouldnt mind adopting since many children need good homes. And if I came across the right little guy/gal and she wasnt even of my or my wifes race (if I inter marry), then it wont matter because their the right little person for us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I believe that happiness is a trait. And it seems to me that you just don't possess it. It's that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 I believe that happiness is a trait. And it seems to me that you just don't possess it. It's that simple. Maybe I don't possess it because there is nothing in my life worth being happy about. Chicken or the egg, when it comes to discussions of happiness, which is why saying "Be happy!" is a rather pointless exercise. Link to post Share on other sites
brahmabull117 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Maybe I don't possess it because there is nothing in my life worth being happy about. Chicken or the egg, when it comes to discussions of happiness, which is why saying "Be happy!" is a rather pointless exercise. Happiness is a state of mind. There are beautiful people who are rich that are miserable and poor people who are happy Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Get a boob job. Seriously. It was a game-changer. She's already well equipped in that regard. It's her attitude that's the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
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