FitChick Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I'm top of my field not because I'm good at it, but because my company never fires anyone. Without going into specifics, I'm at the top of my field because my field is not a very respectable one You work for the Federal government? Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 more positive things. you made people happy with the volunteering. don't you think you actually deserve some of that happiness too? i for one do. do you walk around with a frown all day? Haha I did NOT make people happy with my volunteering. Oh my, no. The elderly people kindly requested I not come back because I made their brains hurt and I talked too much. All I did was take up a volunteering spot that could have gone to someone with good people skills. I walk around with a neutral face I think? I'm not frowning, I'm just... usually not making any facial expressions? Link to post Share on other sites
spooky48 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Hi, I recently just joined this site & wrote about a similar topic. I have decided to see a LC and get some real answers on why I've failed w/ my profile sites I've been on since 2004!! I want to know what I'm doing wrong. I believe it's my appearance b/c I am fat (totally), my shyness & I have sort-of an old-fashioned personality, I call it vintage. I rather have the man do the chivalrous work so-to-speak. I know too, some people want a partier which I'm not. I think it may be body language too b/c when I'm at concerts, restaurants or comedy clubs, or anywhere really...I'm never asked out or approached so, I know it's "me". That's why then, I'm seeing the LC to find out what the heck is so wrong with me. lol I am in my late 30's & I am wondering if I get to 40, if that should be it. I have decided to throw-in-the-towel now b/c I just want to find out what I have done wrong all of these years. Yet, I won't lie...I'm still on sites as I type. We'll see. I hope you find what & who you've been waiting for. Cheers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
McGuffin Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 IF I have a spouse's income. And the whole point of this thread is that it looks like I won't. No spouse, no extra income, no house, no dog, no kids. Just me living in the same apartment, with the same bills, for the rest of my life. That seems pretty bleak to me. People said you aren't able to find a husband because you're negative. You said you're negative because of your situation. Then you said your situation is caused by your lack of money and not being able to afford a house and kids. But with a husband, you could afford those things. That takes away your reason for being negative. That contradicts your insistence that your negativity is cause by your situation and not just a general negative attitude. I was buying into what you said about your situation making you negative. But most people would see your situation as hopeful. The fact that you see it as dire tells me that your negativity is not caused by your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 This editing system is ass. People here (I've friggin told her this dozens of times but she doesn't listen) have constantly told her she's attractive. What she'll do is go on a little tyrade about how one of the guys here called her ugly and said she wasn't going to find anyone, then latch onto that in the face of many opinions that says otherwise. Just a slap in the face to those who are genuinely trying to help. If she doesn't believe that she's attractive, no amount of feedback saying otherwise will matter. No, what I think is ridiculous is your constant need for someone to tell you your dating life sucks. Kappa. I've just come to the conclusion that my pictures are way more photogenic than I actually am. That would explain the disproportional understanding between real life. No one here has actually SEEN me, only my photos... and if I happen to take really good photos, that would explain why people have this weird idea I'm decently attractive. ... Also a lot of the people that say I'm attractive are just assuming. For example, Cracker, I don't think I've ever shown you my photos, so how could you know what I look like? Why is it ridiculous to want people to just BELIEVE me for once? We all want other people to believe us... what's so ridiculous about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 And what changes would you have me make? Or do you just feel like criticizing without offering any actual solutions? How about this? DO YOU OWN RESEARCH. God, how lazy can you get? Am I supposed to hold you by the hand and live your life for you, too? Grow up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Why is it ridiculous to want people to just BELIEVE me for once? We all want other people to believe us... what's so ridiculous about that? Because the only reason you want people to agree with you, is so that you feel vindicated in your believe that you are some how the most unattractive un-loved woman on the planet. In short, you are wrong that's why no one is agreeing with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I've just come to the conclusion that my pictures are way more photogenic than I actually am. That would explain the disproportional understanding between real life. No one here has actually SEEN me, only my photos... and if I happen to take really good photos, that would explain why people have this weird idea I'm decently attractive. ... Also a lot of the people that say I'm attractive are just assuming. For example, Cracker, I don't think I've ever shown you my photos, so how could you know what I look like? Why is it ridiculous to want people to just BELIEVE me for once? We all want other people to believe us... what's so ridiculous about that? What...am I reading? Photogenic my ass. I can tell if a woman is attractive or not based on her photo--unless it's an infamous "Myspace angle" which none of your pics are. Hell, I'd probably think you look better in person. I've seen your photos. I know what you look like. So your example is wrong. I'm not sure if you're reading, but NO ONE (aside from that crowd of certain guys) is minimizing your experiences. What we're trying to do is get you to start fresh instead of continuing down this path. You hate how your life is going, no one doubts that. Do you want to change your life or complain about it forever?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 How about this? DO YOU OWN RESEARCH. God, how lazy can you get? Am I supposed to hand you by the hand and live your life for you, too? Grow up. No, but if you're not going to offer anything, then you could keep judgmental comments to yourself. There is no good reason to come into a thread and not offer anything except snippy comments. People said you aren't able to find a husband because you're negative. You said you're negative because of your situation. Then you said your situation is caused by your lack of money and not being able to afford a house and kids. But with a husband, you could afford those things. That takes away your reason for being negative. That contradicts your insistence that your negativity is cause by your situation and not just a general negative attitude. I was buying into what you said about your situation making you negative. But most people would see your situation as hopeful. The fact that you see it as dire tells me that your negativity is not caused by your situation. I'm sorry, there seems to have been a misunderstanding... I am negative about my situation, and my situation is not that I lack money, or a house, or kids. It's that I lack anything that would give me happiness. I lack a good career, I lack a home, a family, a love, friendship. All those things that supposedly make the human experience so wonderful, I lack. Money could give me a way to correct some of those things... money could give me a good career, it could give me a house. Money would be a tool to get me the things that would make me happy. But LACK of money is not necessarily what makes me sad. If I had one of those things listed, I'd feel much less bleak about my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 What...am I reading? Photogenic my ass. I can tell if a woman is attractive or not based on her photo--unless it's an infamous "Myspace angle" which none of your pics are. Hell, I'd probably think you look better in person. I've seen your photos. I know what you look like. So your example is wrong. Ya sure you're not confusing me with someone else? And no, you can't always tell.... for all you know, I've Photoshopped my pictures. Or they were taken with a really good camera that hides flaws. There are plenty of threads here about guys being "deceived" by pictures online. I'm not sure if you're reading, but NO ONE (aside from that crowd of certain guys) is minimizing your experiences. What we're trying to do is get you to start fresh instead of continuing down this path. You hate how your life is going, no one doubts that. Do you want to change your life or complain about it forever?! And change it HOW?! Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 No, but if you're not going to offer anything, then you could keep judgmental comments to yourself. There is no good reason to come into a thread and not offer anything except snippy comments. The post you quoted had quite a few specific things you can do. But you just ignored them and kept boo hooing yourself. No one here is going to help you. And frankly, I'd rather eat glass than try at this point. Be happy with your oh so hard, bleak, sad miserable existence. Like I said before, you're only spiting yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Ya sure you're not confusing me with someone else? And no, you can't always tell.... for all you know, I've Photoshopped my pictures. Or they were taken with a really good camera that hides flaws. There are plenty of threads here about guys being "deceived" by pictures online. The photos were clear as day, V. Don't play that way. It's not clever. I don't give a crap about the other threads here. Just like how you're always disgusted when others have difficulty believing your stories, why then, do you display this same behavior towards those of us who consider you attractive? You're pulling the same crap. And change it HOW?! Changing your doomsday outlook is a good start, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 Changing your doomsday outlook is a good start, no? I've asked several times for someone to point out positives in my situation, that I could be "happy" about that don't include hey I'm alive. Exactly why change the "doomsday" outlook if the doomsday outlook is accurate? Why fight truth? Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 i and others are trying but your doomsday outlook is blinding you to them. we're limited to what you write here. it's not accurate. But the things you've pointed out, I've refuted to give you an accurate picture. Just seems like people don't want to face the truth.... they just want me to shut up and be delusional, so then they can yell at me a few months on about how unrealistic my standards are. There really seems to be no winning the battle on this forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Why is it ridiculous to want people to just BELIEVE me for once? We all want other people to believe us... what's so ridiculous about that? How many times do you think you've posted here in your threads about how much you crave for us to believe you when you say how ugly and despicable you are? Yet, it never happens. Just accept the fact that you aren't going to convince us about how ugly and hateful you are no matter how many dozens of threads you make about it. It's a waste of your time. You can use your time and energy for lots of better things. DEFINITELY "throw in the towel" on this behavior, post haste. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I've asked several times for someone to point out positives in my situation, that I could be "happy" about that don't include hey I'm alive. Exactly why change the "doomsday" outlook if the doomsday outlook is accurate? Why fight truth? Do you think it's at all disgraceful to be absolutely bereft of gratitude? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 As soon as someone tells me exactly what positives I should be focusing on, I'll give that a try. You'll pardon me if I don't think "You're alive and breathing" is a positive so much as just a neutral "duh." I do really for sorry for you. Being alive and breathing is a neutral duh. Your unhappyness is mainly fiscally related. I get the impression (not that I know you) that you enjoy being in a state of unhappyness and are get some sort of enjoyment out of it. For crying out loud. Read Christopher Reeve wiki page, the man was a quadriplegic who had his life taken away, and was happy until the day he died. What do you value more ? Things that are tangible or things you take for granted ? No, my unhappiness is NOT fiscally related, it's related to me having no one in my life who would care if I died tomorrow. (And having no decent career on top of that.) If there is nothing of value, tangible or otherwise, in your life, then how is it valuable? Yeah, Christopher Reeves was a quadriplegic, but he was also rich and had a loving family. I'd give anything to have a loving family... or a great relationship. I'd happily give up my limbs for it. Link to post Share on other sites
McGuffin Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Ya sure you're not confusing me with someone else? And no, you can't always tell.... for all you know, I've Photoshopped my pictures. Or they were taken with a really good camera that hides flaws. There are plenty of threads here about guys being "deceived" by pictures online. Did you use Photoshop on your pictures? You know whether you did, and if you didn't, then accept the compliment. Accept that some men think you are physically attractive. Besides that, very few people look better in pictures than they do in real life. But personality can make you unattractive. I used to be friends with a girl who thought she was ugly. Guys thought she was pretty when they saw her picture. Guys that met her were not attracted to her. It wasn't because she looked any different than her pictures. It was because of her negativity. I'm sorry, there seems to have been a misunderstanding... I am negative about my situation, and my situation is not that I lack money, or a house, or kids. It's that I lack anything that would give me happiness. I lack a good career, I lack a home, a family, a love, friendship. All those things that supposedly make the human experience so wonderful, I lack. Money could give me a way to correct some of those things... money could give me a good career, it could give me a house. Money would be a tool to get me the things that would make me happy. But LACK of money is not necessarily what makes me sad. If I had one of those things listed, I'd feel much less bleak about my life. Ok. Fair enough. You want people to believe you, and I do. When I think about it, I was never really happy until I got my dog. I still think you're being extreme, but I see your point. Let's see the things you want. Money : Forget money. Money doesn't make anybody happy. Besides that, you've got a decent amount. Good career : You've said there's nothing you can do about that. So lets forget about improving that one. Home, Family: These will come along with the next two. Love & Friendship : Both of these things will only come if you love yourself. No one will love you if you don't. What's good about yourself? What do you like about you? Even an hideously ugly person has some good trait. So if you say nothing, then I stop believing you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 Do you think it's at all disgraceful to be absolutely bereft of gratitude? Gratitude to....? Gratitude applies you have something to be grateful for, or someone to be grateful TO. Who or what am I supposed to show gratitude for? Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 Besides that, very few people look better in pictures than they do in real life. But personality can make you unattractive. I used to be friends with a girl who thought she was ugly. Guys thought she was pretty when they saw her picture. Guys that met her were not attracted to her. It wasn't because she looked any different than her pictures. It was because of her negativity. Well, that's not my problem, as guys online aren't interested either, and they have only my photos to go off of. And to cut it off before it even begins, I can call TMan666 as a witness that my profile is NOT in any way negative. So, if my profile isn't negative and yet I'm still not getting any messages, fair to say it's my looks, yes? What's good about yourself? What do you like about you? Even an hideously ugly person has some good trait. So if you say nothing, then I stop believing you. My self-awareness. Like I said, it's a double-edged sword... It is a good and noble thing to be self-aware and self-examining, but it also means I am a lot more honest and aware of the fact that I am average-to-awful at most things. IF most people honestly examined themselves, they'd find the same... but lacking in self-awareness, a lot of people live on in blissful ignorance of their own flaws. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I've asked several times for someone to point out positives in my situation, that I could be "happy" about that don't include hey I'm alive. Exactly why change the "doomsday" outlook if the doomsday outlook is accurate? Why fight truth? You can do karate, you have a good job, you like working out, you like video games, and to top it all off, you're sexy, even if you think it's bogus. There. So, it's clear that you're versatile in the things you like, but the #1 issue here is that you don't love or respect yourself. How could you expect some guy to do something that you can't even do yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Author verhrzn Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 a black belt in martial arts with a 3.4 gpa in your major who's responsible with her finances and takes her time to volunteer has a nice figure. that's the way i see you and that's the way someday i wish you can see yourself. there's no battle. A black belt that's little better than a participation trophy in a worthless martial art, with an average GPA at a lowly rated college, who can't afford anything except the very basics with a job she's not even qualified for, who is fat. (Sorry but the guy who said I had a nice figure is flat out lying, he just doesn't want to appear shallow.) *Shakes head* Honestly, you can twist the facts to be positive just as much as negative, and it isn't any better. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 So, if my profile isn't negative and yet I'm still not getting any messages, fair to say it's my looks, yes? So your basing your worth as a person on how physically attractive the opposite sex find you? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 A black belt that's little better than a participation trophy in a worthless martial art, with an average GPA at a lowly rated college, who can't afford anything except the very basics with a job she's not even qualified for, who is fat. (Sorry but the guy who said I had a nice figure is flat out lying, he just doesn't want to appear shallow.) *Shakes head* Honestly, you can twist the facts to be positive just as much as negative, and it isn't any better. I never knew you got a black belt! In what martial art? Ever thought about MMA?? Maybe you could kick somebody's ass like Gina Carano and get some of that pent up aggression sorted. Link to post Share on other sites
tman666 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 And to cut it off before it even begins, I can call TMan666 as a witness that my profile is NOT in any way negative. I'll attest to this. I'm no online dating expert, but I can honestly say that I didn't see anything overtly negative. V's sense of humor, as far as I can tell, tends to be fairly deadpan. So while she doesn't come across as a giggling, pig-tailed tart, I didn't find anything negative or "poor me" about her profile. So, if my profile isn't negative and yet I'm still not getting any messages, fair to say it's my looks, yes? Can't say I agree with this at all though... For the millionth time on LS, I will echo the sentiment: it's not your looks. Link to post Share on other sites
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