Is There An Age To 'Throw In the Towel' for Women?

[ThaWholigan]

I try not to put genuine posters on ignore, for the most part. I mean, I tried for a while with SD, but I just didn't see the point in it. I totally get you, though, and I'm sorry nobody takes your information. I'm sure someone will someday.

I think I've put Somedude on ignore about 5 times in the last couple of months . Even more than Wolf (although he gets banned a lot so.....)

[Cracker Jack]

Also, you have to understand that there are limits to sympathy. People can show as much sympathy as possible, but if you're just going to continuously expect that sort of treatment, that's unrealistic. I hate to say this, but it seems like every topic with you ends up the same.

 

Here it is in a nutshell:

 

Many posters: "V, you need to just start believing in yourself. You're not ugly at all!"

 

Other poster: "Let's be serious, you're not cute, you're chubby, and really don't have a chance to get in a relationship."

 

*V quotes that poster*

 

V: "See, a voice of reason. There's no place in this world for ugly people like me. Might as well lock myself in my room and watch Animal Planet."

 

 

Is there anything else you want?

[Pirouette]

What stops me is I don't understand social situations. I just seem to.... annoy people. My mother says even when I'm in a good mood (aka not negative), I'm emotionally draining, because I love analyzing and discussing, and most people just want to "have a good time."

 

Yeah, I've gone over my finances. Sadly, tightening my belt anymore would come down to a matter of priorities. For example, if I canceled my gym membership that'd be an extra $60 a month... but there goes working out and trying to get physically fit. The sad thing is, even if I cut out everything but absolute necessities, I STILL couldn't afford therapy. It is unbelievably frustrating, trust me.

 

You know what, I do understand this. I analyze to death too, and we probably both know that we can over-analyze and begin to see patterns that just aren't there. Like in A beautiful Mind when he's finding code in the magazines and newspapers? Look long enough and something will fall together just through chance. It's easy to do when you're paranoid and you dissect every little social interaction to look for all the ways you're snubbed and less accepted than everyone else, and then you internalize it, but if you were to ask your friends about it, they'd have no idea what you're talking about.

 

What topics are you analyzing and discussing? If it's something they're not passionate about, I can see how that would fizzle. You just need to find the topics that they like, or find people who like the topics that you do.

 

I recently got Just Dance 3 precisely so that I don't have to pay for the gym and can exercise and have fun in the privacy of my own home whenever I feel like it. And what about saving up for something else? Night classes? A two week vacation? A new pet?

[Lonely Ronin]

For the last time... the black belt is worthless. It's a participation award. Guess what, I bet if you showed up, you would have gotten one too. Am I in the 1% of humans for simply being in a place?

 

Uh.... no. I'm past my black belt and into sash material, and putting in several hours a week is very standard for my rank. Heck, compared to other students, I should probably be doing a bit more. It's.... no where near 'basic.' Just.... no.

 

Your posts don't jive..... In a previous post when someone attacked you, you responded with the above. One, you are beyond black belt, so your accomplishment is more significant than you say now. Two, explain to me how 'no where near basic' is the same or even close to 'worthless' or something you get for 'being in a place' .

 

Deal with your issues V, and stop trying to get validation from everyone.

[utterer of lies]

Seriously, you must have a bleak view of humanity to think that most people would simply shrug and go "oh, whatever" at something like that.

 

I would. It's her choice, her life. I don't think this is 'a bleak view of humanity'. The right to live includes the right to die. But this is probably a topic for another thread...

[verhrzn]

BS. I, for one, would be greatly disturbed and saddened to see that a young life was lost in such despair. I would always wonder if there was something that I could have said to change your mind or help you out of the quicksand.

 

Seriously, you must have a bleak view of humanity to think that most people would simply shrug and go "oh, whatever" at something like that.

 

I don't think it's bleak that no body cares about a single person. Not everyone can be loved in this life. If there's one thing I learned from my early Christianity upbringing, it's that this life is essentially worthless... it's sinful, it's corrupt, it's unfair. "The true reward is in Heaven" and all that. (And before anybody jumps on the Christians, the Buddhists are just as bad with their "Nothing has value, have no attachments in this world" viewpoint as well.)

 

How can it be bleak if every major world religion has some variation on the theme?

 

I don't think people would shrug and say "oh whatever" if a person they actually cared about was involved. Of course not. But if no body cares about you when you're alive, why care about you when you're dead? I get angry at the idea that a bunch of essential strangers would show up at my funeral... people who never bothered me when I was breathing. I'd probably leave notes in my will instructing the pastor to tell them to GTFO.

 

Though like I said, I guess a lot of LS posters would break out the party hats. So, is it bleak to think my death would bring joy to people? Hm.

[tman666]

I would. It's her choice, her life. I don't think this is 'a bleak view of humanity'. The right to live includes the right to die. But this is probably a topic for another thread...

 

That's ok. I never said people with your viewpoint don't exist. Personally, I cannot fathom your view, and I refuse to believe that most of humanity would have such a nonchalant response.

[verhrzn]

Your posts don't jive..... In a previous post when someone attacked you, you responded with the above. One, you are beyond black belt, so your accomplishment is more significant than you say now. Two, explain to me how 'no where near basic' is the same or even close to 'worthless' or something you get for 'being in a place' .

 

Haha apparently just a lot of what I say requires explanation. Okay, the thing is, my martial art IS difficult. It requires a lot of discipline and training to be good at. I'm just NOT good at it. So the black belt is still a participation trophy, but that doesn't mean that those who excel at the material aren't good at it. It's just that the black belt, in and of itself, is meaningless. It's what you DO with it that matters (aka, are you good at the material being taught.)

[Cracker Jack]

Bring out the party hats to celebrate?

 

You sound ridiculous. Maybe you need to take another break from LS.

[ThaWholigan]

Bring out the party hats to celebrate?

 

You sound ridiculous. Maybe you need to take another break from LS.

I just saw that.

 

It's like she is goading us to convince her to commit suicide or something. I don't understand this at all.

[snug.bunny]

What I want to know is, when is the emotional manipulation and propaganda going to stop?

 

It really needs to be knocked the heck off...

 

As to the original question:

 

Is There An Age To 'Throw In the Towel' for Women?

 

Yes. When she chooses too.

[oaks]

And if the answer had been "Oh yeah she died," what would your reaction have been? Probably "Oh. Okay," right? I mean, come on, be honest, I'm a random stranger on the

 

"that's sad. We tried to help. shame she wouldn't listen. " might've been my reaction. But also "one fewer pityfest poster who doesn't want help".

[verhrzn]

Bring out the party hats to celebrate?

 

You sound ridiculous. Maybe you need to take another break from LS.

 

... You can really glance through my threads and not come to the same conclusion? Seriously?

 

I actually did happen to glance at LS during my "off" time, and I saw plenty of off-comments about me being the resident female whiner, and about how glad people were that I was gone. So you'll pardon me for not really buying the whole "oo we of the anonymous Internet would totally care."

 

"that's sad. We tried to help. shame she wouldn't listen. " might've been my reaction. But also "one fewer pityfest poster who doesn't want help".

 

*Points*

[Cracker Jack]

Either that, or she's trying real hard to convince herself that everyone here hates her. Had people truly disliked her, no one would ever try to be encouraging in her topics. It's starting to look like she's addicted to the self-pity, and that's the unfortunate part.

[tman666]

I don't think it's bleak that no body cares about a single person. Not everyone can be loved in this life. If there's one thing I learned from my early Christianity upbringing, it's that this life is essentially worthless... it's sinful, it's corrupt, it's unfair. "The true reward is in Heaven" and all that. (And before anybody jumps on the Christians, the Buddhists are just as bad with their "Nothing has value, have no attachments in this world" viewpoint as well.)

 

How can it be bleak if every major world religion has some variation on the theme?

 

I don't think people would shrug and say "oh whatever" if a person they actually cared about was involved. Of course not. But if no body cares about you when you're alive, why care about you when you're dead? I get angry at the idea that a bunch of essential strangers would show up at my funeral... people who never bothered me when I was breathing. I'd probably leave notes in my will instructing the pastor to tell them to GTFO.

 

Though like I said, I guess a lot of LS posters would break out the party hats. So, is it bleak to think my death would bring joy to people? Hm.

 

I'm no theologian, but I'm pretty sure you missed the point of the whole "the true reward is in Heaven" thing that is indeed a common theme of the world's religions...

 

So you're saying that for whatever reason, you don't believe that life has intrinsic value on its own and that we each have a unique opportunity to make a positive impact on the world, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant?

 

I don't mean to paint the world with the brush of (as Mme. Chaucer put it) rainbows and fluffy kittens, because I think any grown up can see that there is a wide spectrum between terrible and good things in present.

 

That said, I think it's a cop-out to use that fact as an excuse not to TRY to contribute something.

[Leopard]

Yes, I think that at a certain age a woman isn't as valuable in the dating market.

 

And I think this age is much younger than it is for men, who can still date at older ages.

 

I think this has to do with the fact that since they are older, they are experienced and have their life in order, which is attractive. An older woman has passed her "prime" and best fertility age, so she becomes less desireable to a man.

 

You don't see Meryl Streep being a sex symbol, but George Clooney is somehow still a "bachelor" (they have about a 10 year difference I believe, which isn't that much).

[verhrzn]

Either that, or she's trying real hard to convince herself that everyone here hates her. Had people truly disliked her, no one would ever try to be encouraging in her topics. It's starting to look like she's addicted to the self-pity, and that's the unfortunate part.

 

... Yeah, cause no posters are jumping into this thread just to pile on about what an awful person I am, and how they'd love for me to die just so I'd stop whining.

 

Oh. Except Mme Chauncer. And Oaks. And Utterer of Lies. And Janesays. And...

[dreamingoftigers]

Tobias! Ha ha ha.

 

I love that show.

[utterer of lies]

I think this has to do with the fact that since they are older, they are experienced and have their life in order, which is attractive. An older woman has passed her "prime" and best fertility age, so she becomes less desireable to a man.

 

"Men age like wine, women like milk."

 

*evilgrin

[Cracker Jack]

... You can really glance through my threads and not come to the same conclusion? Seriously?

 

Oh, so you mean the countless people who are trying their best to help you are irrelevant to the few who don't care? Why?

 

I actually did happen to glance at LS during my "off" time, and I saw plenty of off-comments about me being the resident female whiner, and about how glad people were that I was gone. So you'll pardon me for not really buying the whole "oo we of the anonymous Internet would totally care."

 

They're.Not.The.Majority. Seriously, 400+ posts in and you're still acting this dense?

[Lonely Ronin]

Haha apparently just a lot of what I say requires explanation. Okay, the thing is, my martial art IS difficult. It requires a lot of discipline and training to be good at. I'm just NOT good at it. So the black belt is still a participation trophy, but that doesn't mean that those who excel at the material aren't good at it. It's just that the black belt, in and of itself, is meaningless. It's what you DO with it that matters (aka, are you good at the material being taught.)

 

Last time I checked, they don't give out belt's unless you earned them. In other words, you were good enough. But again that's not Ok with you. For some unhealthy reason you need to turn everything into a competition. Worse yet, you consider not being in the top echelon as being a complete failure.

[utterer of lies]

... Yeah, cause no posters are jumping into this thread just to pile on about what an awful person I am, and how they'd love for me to die just so I'd stop whining.

 

Oh. Except Mme Chauncer. And Oaks. And Utterer of Lies. And Janesays. And...

 

I never said you were an awful person, nor that I would love for you to die.

 

If you feel that's incorrect, please cite.

 

But I guess as so many times before, you will ignore this post and just pick a few snippets from others that you can spin more easily.

[dreamingoftigers]

I don't hate you in the least and don't want you to die.

 

I think you are really suffering.

 

And it sucks.

 

And I think often other posters can perceive that and try to help but when they feel rejected, it gets their backs up.

 

I kinda know where you are at. And it just stinks.

 

Going back and forth articulating it won't help at this point.

 

There are a few things that will, but I won't waste my time unless you want to hear about some options.

[verhrzn]

Oh, so you mean the countless people who are trying their best to help you are irrelevant to the few who don't care? Why?

 

They're.Not.The.Majority. Seriously, 400+ posts in and you're still acting this dense?

 

Posters who tried to help: McGuffin. Sorta Tman, sorta Piroutte. That's about it. Unless you care to mention someone I missed?

 

You've had a foot more in the "pile on" camp. ThaWhalogian and E came in just to roll their eyes.

 

You claim my conclusion is faulty, show me how instead of just piling on.

[Leopard]

Verhrzn, online forums are for exactly that. Asking questions, venting, complaining, giving advice etc and it's beautiful because you are behind a computer and can just shut it off whenever you please.

 

I have been getting grief ever since I got here. LS people are nice only when they want to be. If there is something about you they don't like, they use this as justification to cyberbully and make themselves feel better by calling you names so they feel like the "superior" person when it comes to dating or relationships.

 

Just ignore. Whine all you want. No one here is innocent of that.