k100danny Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Now I know a lot of you on here are hurting and missing someone just like me and will say YES straight away but hear me out. When a relationship ends it is awful and can be one the worst feeling other than death of a loved you you ever experience. But someone has broken up with you can you say that even though you miss them you would get back into a relationship with them? this person may have dated someone else, obviously went through the thought process of deciding they didn't want to be with you and can you say you'd still take them back if they wanted you to? I don't know if I would, I would like to think no as i would never be able to feel the same way about them again, I am yearning for something that i had that cannot be the same again and I know this. I just feel even if my ex came back now there is a chance i would say yes but i know deep down I couldn't ever trust the love of her the same again or feel exactly the same as i did. What are your thoughts on this? Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) hahahahahahahahahaha http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/337567-one-thing-u-wont-miss-about-person Knowing what I know now? Realizing what my relationship was TRULY like? No. I would never get back with my ex. The trust, the respect, everything I felt for him is GONE. Those things could never come back, unless I underwent some sort of lobotomy. Edited July 25, 2012 by KatZee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sheppy99 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 It's going to be different for every person but I would probably give my ex a shot again if she came clean with me and we talked about why it would be different next time. But I can honestly say my answer may change as my NC progresses. I'd have to believe she was a lot more stable in her life than she is now. For a person to quit her job on the spot the day we break up cause she can't handle seeing me........... ummm not good sign of stability. If my ex was more stable in the future, I probably would but I'd have to hear a lot of the right things from her which probably won't happen. I think most people would take their ex back if they met certain conditions and expectations to hopefully change the outcome of the next relationship. As far as the ones who have been cheated on, I don't think you should ever take an ex back cause to me you are just telling them what they did was ok and ultimately if you wait long enough, you'll be forgiven. Link to post Share on other sites
edelveis Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 You cant answer this question right after a break up.It takes time until you are ready to answer this question.When you are calm,have found yourself and senses again and be able to judge taking a distant view. Almost 3 months after the breakup i know that i would never give her another chance even if that would broke my heart into pieces.When someone hurted you so bad,who wasnt strong enough to stay and fight together and took instead the easy way out,betraied your trust,respect and feelings that you had for them and left not carrying how you feel then they never deserved you and things can never be the same again.you never go back to your hearts killer.. Also when you have died once you cant risk to die twice.. Link to post Share on other sites
salmagundi Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 damn edelveis, what you just wrote rang so true for me that it almost killed me to read it... but then I'm really broken and f&*ked up inside... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SouthernDamsel Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 No, he betrayed me once. Never again. My life has continued on just fine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
penguin23 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I feel like I'm finally at a point where I can say I wouldn't take him back. That's at least how I feel today. I still want things to just miraculously fix themselves so that 1) he wants to come back, 2) it actually is a good thing for me to take him back. But those things aren't going to happen and at the moment it's ok with me. But I can't promise that tomorrow I will feel the same. I'm on a roller coaster of emotion and I happen to be in a good place right now:) Link to post Share on other sites
Coffee20 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I had a hope that he will realize that maybe he did some mistakes too, we could discuss the things and make it through. But this hope has been fading away. I know well how he treated me and I know how much I fought for him. So being rational, I should never want to have him back, unless I am real masochist. Link to post Share on other sites
edelveis Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Salmagundi it really killed me to write it too..but its true and i am glad if my post have offered even the least hep to you :)you hav a familliar oppinion i guess? Link to post Share on other sites
morichu Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 If they broke your trust, the answer should always be no. Why should you when you have the opportunity to meet any other person out there and give them a chance? I always use this analogy in terms of breaking trust and giving second chances. If a store manager catches an employee stealing money from the company, what does he do? He fires them and goes to find someone who will be honest with them. In time it will do good for the store manager to forgive him for the sake of his own well being, but the crook will never be hired again when there are many other suitors out there. The same thing goes for relationships 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pod81 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Right now, I would say yes but there would a hell of a lot of conditions that would need to be met. She would have to finish graduate school, be at least 6 months into the working world (so we're at a similar point in life), at least 6 months of being single (to make sure I'm not a rebound), become more mature/stable (past her GIGS process), knows what she wants out of life, and isn't so afraid of commitment. That would put her AT LEAST 1.5 years from now, and my feelings may change by then. On top of all of that, that's assuming that I'll be single then and she comes knocking down my door. Too many conditions to fulfill, so I know it isn't likely at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Hell no, no way, no, no way, never. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 My ex was single from the time we broke up until now. for 1 yr and a half. At times i wished that he just found someone else so i could have my closure. And i guess that he did I just didnt know about it. He broke 3 months of NC and played more games with me. Until I found out about the other girl who he apparently told some people that he was planning on marrying her. Anyhow that was my breaking point I would never take him back. And if lets say he did make a mistake and asked me back, I would still not take him back. Because he needs to change his ways anyhow and most people dont. But hey Miracles do Happen, Im not waiting though Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 (edited) My ex screw me over. I took him back. He screwed me over again plus on top of that cheated on me. All of his promises were lies. I would never ever take him back again. Besides, now I know he has sociopathic traits. There's no way I'm going to go back to him. I'm afraid to date a man that has no remorse for the things he does. I don't know what men like that are capable of. Edited July 26, 2012 by CopingGal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
steveblack Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 As much as I am hurting, and the love for her with all me heart, no. At this current state, there would be a lot of work we would need to go through. It would need commitment to each other, honesty about our future and both individual growth. If we were willing to go through that, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
IST Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 In a heartbeat. I'd approach it differently though. Would definitely have much more space between us, because we really didn't have enough. (Saw each other damn near every day for hours on end) And I'd start fostering a social life outside of her & a mutual circle of friends. Doesn't matter though. She won't even talk to me, and she's moving away in a month and a half. I just wish we were on better terms... suppose it's my fault we aren't. But I really needed NC and I'm actually kind of glad that she's been ignoring me. It's forced me to deal with my **** on my own and learn from my mistakes and just move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dragon820 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Now I know a lot of you on here are hurting and missing someone just like me and will say YES straight away but hear me out. When a relationship ends it is awful and can be one the worst feeling other than death of a loved you you ever experience. But someone has broken up with you can you say that even though you miss them you would get back into a relationship with them? this person may have dated someone else, obviously went through the thought process of deciding they didn't want to be with you and can you say you'd still take them back if they wanted you to? I don't know if I would, I would like to think no as i would never be able to feel the same way about them again, I am yearning for something that i had that cannot be the same again and I know this. I just feel even if my ex came back now there is a chance i would say yes but i know deep down I couldn't ever trust the love of her the same again or feel exactly the same as i did. What are your thoughts on this? depends on the definition of the relationship, I found that while we had similar interests we didn' have the same definition of friendship, so if this person hurt you, how likely is it that they won't hurt you again, if the likelyhood is high then NO....you have to be your own advocate, before you can help someone else Link to post Share on other sites
headsashed Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 She betrayed my trust,had no respect for my feelings,and still doesnt,strung me along,thinks i can be her emotional tampon,i could go on. I could never trust her again so the answer is a big fat NO 1 Link to post Share on other sites
YorickBrown Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 that would be a big fat YES!!!! ...so that I can get to do the dumping this time around just to get back I'm kidding!!!....well...maybe...slightly...What?!? dont tell me no one here thought about doing that? C'mon!? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Yes, because I would get to see my 8 year old son every day. I only see him every other week. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 that would be a big fat YES!!!! ...so that I can get to do the dumping this time around just to get back I'm kidding!!!....well...maybe...slightly...What?!? dont tell me no one here thought about doing that? C'mon!? This scenario JUST played through my mind and then I read this... HAHAHA wow. Link to post Share on other sites
62083 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 It definitely depends on the relationship, people involved and the breakup. For me, I would never take back my current ex. He cheated on, lied to me, and hit me and sadly our relationship was only 3 months. It was a horrible relationship and he is a terrible person. There's no way I would go back! Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Never!! Like most of us I probably would of during the 1st few months but now NO..NO WAY!! Like some other posters said...they were betrayed and lied to...so was I. She can go F herself!! Link to post Share on other sites
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