2456249 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Hello, I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years 6 weeks ago. He verbally abused me with manipulations while we were together and cheated on me multiple times. I stupidly have continued to sporadically talk to him during these last 6 weeks and started to have sex with him in this last week. Recently I have been taking ambien to go to sleep at night and sometimes I do things while on it that I don't remember. It literally makes me do things I would never do while conscious. On Tuesday while under the influence of ambien I texted him to come over. I didn't come to consciousness until hours later, but I discovered that I had done meth with him. I have never done that drug in my life and actually have extreme aversion to it, but he brought that to my place and him knowing I was on ambien I guess got me to do it. I am still in shock from all this because I don't know if I should blame myself or be completely angry and hate him. Because right now I hate myself for becoming a person that I am not, but never consciously wanted to be. So I missed two days of work and he could careless about helping me come down from it because I didn't allow him to stay at my place and do more drugs the next night. I need so much help working through all this. I am seeing a therapist today and hopefully she can help me. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I'm not traumatized and I fell like its your fault as well. That's a good thing though, it means you are taking responsibility for your actions. You're not doing anything to correct your actions, but you are starting to take responsibility for them. Its the right path. Next step--stop putting yourself in situations that you know you shouldn't be in. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 If you can't handle the ambien, don't take it. Try meditation or melatonin (natural). But good for you for breaking free of your abuser. I'm proud of you. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 That's awful. I don't think ambien is supposed to do that. You are suppose to sleep, not be unconscious. I would tell a doctor about that. Let me tell you this. Your boyfriend is a stupid, selfish, prick. He is disrespectful, and a dummy. You need to stay away and take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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