SamanthaX Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 My boyfriend (of two years and long-distance) kept bringing up the fact that he want to explore dating other people. He said he needed some time to think and would talk to me after the weekend. This was Tuesday night. I agreed because I really had no choice. He called an hour and a half later and asked me a question and then said "That is all" and hung up. I was pissed and hurt he was using my fears to get me upset. I decided I wasn't going to answer his calls. Sometimes I think he breaks up with me to get me to shut-up about the relationship, but he never sticks to it. He emailed me twice the next day about going on vacation in 2 weeks. He called on average 5 times a day up until today. He has left a few messages but the one he lefte yesterday got cut off. He only called once yesterday. He called again today buy just twice. He would never expect me to go this long without speaking to him. I just wanted to put up a wall in order to say: This stops here. If you can't decide whether or not you want to be with me then I dont want to be with you. I just want to know what is going through his head. I want to talk to him so badly every time he calls but I just feel like I will lose all power and nothing will change. He will say the same things and we'll go in circles for another 2 years. What am I to do? Does he think I broke up with him or that I am just pissed? I don't want to be a doormat but I don't want to play games either. Please tell me what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
wanjutraveler Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 All I can say is you are allowing yourself to be both a doormat and being stuck in a game. life is too short to waste time on people who dont know what they want. drop him like a hot rock and move on, before you do lose all power. I know what I am talking about as I am one who lost all power. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 I think you should dump him. My boyfriend (of two years and long-distance) kept bringing up the fact that he want to explore dating other people. A man who loves you and wants to be with you does not say things like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SamanthaX Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 We have too much history to just stop receiving his calls. What message are my actions sending? I want to say something to him. I do love him and I dont want to lose him. Link to post Share on other sites
jw32802 Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Dont call him or answer his calls! Tell him "you wanted your space and im giving it to you" Say "but if i find someone else i am not waiting around". Do this for 6-8 weeks. tell him that if he is unsure then so are you. Bet you money he will come crawling back but give it 6-8 weeks. he needs to feel the emptiness without you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SamanthaX Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 Thanks for answering me. I just feel so anxious and alone in this. So, I shouldnt answer his calls? How am I supposed to tell him I am giving him my space? Should I email him or tell him over the phone. I just feel weird about just stopping answering his calls--we normally talk 8x a day and all day on IM when he is at work. What message does this send him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SamanthaX Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 He sent me a message saying: "you alive?" What should I do? Answer or ignore? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 I say answer him and tell him you've been busy, that you're getting on with your life, as he has been too. Link to post Share on other sites
jw32802 Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Yes just be like"yep im good, on my way out, ill talk to you later!" Link to post Share on other sites
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