Eternal Sunshine Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Just a mini-rant. And I mean it, none, zero.. It has been years since I met anyone that I got even a little excited about. This includes online dating too. My relationship with my ex was more forced than genuine attraction. It was a purely logical decision for me: he was just the best option out of bad options. I am very frustrated....I had dates with 9 men in the last few months..and truth to be told, I couldn't care less about any of them. They were all meh, bland and forgettable. I truly do no feel like my standards are too high. I do live in one of those cities with bad ratios for single women (in fact second worst after NYC). I refuse to force another relationship like my last with a "meh" guy....I feel like I just want to join other similar thread starters and "throw in the towel".... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 How were your experiences in other cities? Do you feel it would be worth a try to move? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Either relocate....or prepare for a lonely life without companionship. Just a mini-rant. And I mean it, none, zero.. It has been years since I met anyone that I got even a little excited about. This includes online dating too. My relationship with my ex was more forced than genuine attraction. It was a purely logical decision for me: he was just the best option out of bad options. I am very frustrated....I had dates with 9 men in the last few months..and truth to be told, I couldn't care less about any of them. They were all meh, bland and forgettable. I truly do no feel like my standards are too high. I do live in one of those cities with bad ratios for single women (in fact second worst after NYC). I refuse to force another relationship like my last with a "meh" guy....I feel like I just want to join other similar thread starters and "throw in the towel".... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Check out job prospects in other cities and then look at the guys online who live in those cities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorhurting Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I would move if you are unhappy. I have a boyfriend and I know that in my environment and where I currently live, if we break up, it will be very hard to find someone who is worth it and who will not be a doctor where I work, etc etc. I am so looking forward to moving next year! Fresh start! Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 You could always move to Utah. Or you could move close to a huge college campus, you won't date for love but there won't be a shortage of men. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 That's a little extreme. How can this be? Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I've seen people suggesting moving, but I'd be curious to where females are supposed to move TO. I'm in a big city that supposedly has lots of single guys, but it also seems like a dating desert to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Your city has almost 2 million people. You're being melodramatic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I moved from NYC to a smaller city, probably with a better ratio...but really I found much more opportunity to meet interesting men in Manhattan. I guess thats it....a more competitive ratio, but more opportunity, and more interesting prospects. I moved to much smaller city I'm at home in, after my divorce. Bored with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 You are from NY right? Is dating really that hard in that city. I hear from both women and men how brutal it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 You are from NY right? Is dating really that hard in that city. I hear from both women and men how brutal it is. No. She's in a large Australian city. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I've seen people suggesting moving, but I'd be curious to where females are supposed to move TO. I'm in a big city that supposedly has lots of single guys, but it also seems like a dating desert to me. This goes both ways V. 1. You move to a city that has more members of the opposite sex. 2. you move to a city that has a high % of members of the opposite sex in your social/economic group. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 This goes both ways V. 1. You move to a city that has more members of the opposite sex. 2. you move to a city that has a high % of members of the opposite sex in your social/economic group. Sure, but how do you figure out which cities those are? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 27, 2012 Author Share Posted July 27, 2012 My plan was always to look for a new job at the beginning of next year. Since I have moved around a lot, I am not really attached to my current city. I may move to US or Europe. I will certainly look into ratios and OLD possibilities in various cities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 There are no datable men in my city Wait a minute, and that'll change. It isn't like people's relationship statuses are static; good people end up back on the market every day. I am very frustrated....I had dates with 9 men in the last few months..and truth to be told, I couldn't care less about any of them. They were all meh, bland and forgettable. Maybe you just weren't ready to connect with anyone when you met them? Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Since you live in a BIG city, I think it may be more about cities that have better men for you. I mean, I refuse to believe that any major city has no single, worthwhile men in almost every age range, (unless MAYBE we're talking golden years where men are dropping dead left and right - even then, I'm unconvinced). But I do think there are cities where the dating populations don't jive with a particular individual. Absolutely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Sure, but how do you figure out which cities those are? Google Census Bureau Homepage Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 27, 2012 Author Share Posted July 27, 2012 Maybe you just weren't ready to connect with anyone when you met them? Hmmm good point. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I don't think it's your location. I think it's our age. I'm in the same predicament and it's not just because I live in a small town. I've traveled to major cities this year and there were virtually no single men over 30. I have friends who live in large cities and they don't know any single men over 30. I have literally sat in places (restaurants, bars, airports, etc.) and tried to count the number of single men over 30 and there simply weren't any. (I've made friends do this too and they agree--no men). Men over 30 are either with women or have on wedding bands. I know it's frustrating. There are some men out there, but very few, and it's going to take a lot of luck to meet them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 27, 2012 Author Share Posted July 27, 2012 I don't think it's your location. I think it's our age. I'm in the same predicament and it's not just because I live in a small town. I've traveled to major cities this year and there were virtually no single men over 30. I have friends who live in large cities and they don't know any single men over 30. I have literally sat in places (restaurants, bars, airports, etc.) and tried to count the number of single men over 30 and there simply weren't any. (I've made friends do this too and they agree--no men). Men over 30 are either with women or have on wedding bands. I know it's frustrating. There are some men out there, but very few, and it's going to take a lot of luck to meet them. I agree with you. When I was in my 20s, I was meeting single men all the time. Nowdays, I never meet anyone that's over 30 and single (apart form dating sites). It's not even that I don't meet single men I like...I just don't meet ANY single men in that age-group. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I don't think it's your location. I think it's our age. I'm in the same predicament and it's not just because I live in a small town. I've traveled to major cities this year and there were virtually no single men over 30. I have friends who live in large cities and they don't know any single men over 30. I have literally sat in places (restaurants, bars, airports, etc.) and tried to count the number of single men over 30 and there simply weren't any. (I've made friends do this too and they agree--no men). Men over 30 are either with women or have on wedding bands. hey now.... Some of us are over 30, we just don't look it. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Google Census Bureau Homepage Um... those links don't specifically say how many single (as in, not dating anyone) men there are in a city. It just gives general population schematics. "Single" is also a tricky word when it comes to the government, since it technically means "not married," but there could be tons of co-habiting or dating couples. For example, my city supposedly has tons of single men according to US statistics. But there isn't a break-down of the AGE of those single men, or if they are living with a girlfriend/fiancee. I know lots of men who aren't married, but certainly aren't single! Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 hey now.... Some of us are over 30, we just don't look it. I guess you're going to have to stop using sunscreen and take up smoking so you stop looking like a college kid. Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Just a mini-rant. And I mean it, none, zero.. It has been years since I met anyone that I got even a little excited about. This includes online dating too. My relationship with my ex was more forced than genuine attraction. It was a purely logical decision for me: he was just the best option out of bad options. I am very frustrated....I had dates with 9 men in the last few months..and truth to be told, I couldn't care less about any of them. They were all meh, bland and forgettable. I truly do no feel like my standards are too high. I do live in one of those cities with bad ratios for single women (in fact second worst after NYC). I refuse to force another relationship like my last with a "meh" guy....I feel like I just want to join other similar thread starters and "throw in the towel".... Make up your mind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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