Star Gazer Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 The tourist visa lasts 90 days and she may be able to add extensions on to it, and if she has some sort of job lined up before moving there then they can sponsor her stay, so it is possible. Very few jobs will allow you to stay here though. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Do you know anybody in NYC? Do you have friends there, family? Moving to a brand new city where you know nobody can get quite lonely even in a city like NYC. It is very possible that you land in NYC and realize you have no friends, no support system, nobody to turn to if you need help. Thats right. Maybe a city like london, chicago, montreal, vancouver, los angeles, london or even melbourne would be fine for a change of scene if she also has contacts there. Link to post Share on other sites
StrangeBehaviors Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 As happy as you are is as happy as you will be. I encourage you to go. Many try to hold you back because of their own fears and insecurities. I have no reason to think it will help your love life, however, any more than at your current location. The good/bad will come wherever you are. This could be an emotional decision vs. a logical one. Recognize the reasons & expectations for wanting to move somewhere, and make sure they are "reasonable". Then hit the road! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) I encourage you to go. Many try to hold you back because of their own fears and insecurities. I have no reason to think it will help your love life, however, any more than at your current location. The good/bad will come wherever you are. This could be an emotional decision vs. a logical one. Recognize the reasons & expectations for wanting to move somewhere, and make sure they are "reasonable". Then hit the road! I agree with most of this, except the bolded. Different locations have different cultural expectations and, frankly, a supply of people in a chosen demographic. Like Sam Kinneson so aptly put... THERE'S NO FOOD IN THE DESERT!! GO TO WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!! A search for a partner CAN BE very similar to the search companies do when selecting a location for a business... they are looking for an area with a suitable business climate so that they have the best possible chance for success... However, if they go in with a poor business model and ethic, it won't matter where they go. Agreed. (Funny... I've been trying to get to Europe for work. ES is trying to get to a town that is 2 hrs away from me by train. There is a lesson here somewhere ) Edited July 29, 2012 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Going to a location to meet a possible partner, and for dating, is no worse a motivation than any other motivation. Just make sure that there are enough other positive things there that, if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, it still is a positive experience. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My best friend moved to another State, and she is so much happier. So, never say never... I and a few others plan to join her in a few years. Shoot for the stars! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 Going to a location to meet a possible partner, and for dating, is no worse a motivation than any other motivation. Just make sure that there are enough other positive things there that, if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, it still is a positive experience. Exactly. I just like the thought of complete change. Again, I am still only pondering my options. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Exactly. I just like the thought of complete change. Again, I am still only pondering my options. I'm all for change... and doing something dramatic to break funky cycles. I've done it myself more than once in my life and enjoyed every minute of it. Just keep your safety net in place... a good job, a network of friends... and a solid plan to meet people IRL. Not just for dating, but for friendship too. Lots of opportunities for that there!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 The way I see it, you only get one life to live. Why let fear hold you back? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I second the suggestion to experience living in other places. Not just for dating, but because I genuinely feel that everyone can benefit from new experiences, new people, and a culture change. It helps you see the world through another lens, and simple touring doesn't cut it. If you can afford it, lots of places have working holiday schemes for Australians. You are allowed to go there and legally look for a job, and once you get one you can often get sponsorship for a work visa, depending on the country. Highly recommend that over a simple tourist visa. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I second the suggestion to experience living in other places. Not just for dating, but because I genuinely feel that everyone can benefit from new experiences, new people, and a culture change. It helps you see the world through another lens, and simple touring doesn't cut it. If you can afford it, lots of places have working holiday schemes for Australians. You are allowed to go there and legally look for a job, and once you get one you can often get sponsorship for a work visa, depending on the country. Highly recommend that over a simple tourist visa. Reeelly?? I've never heard of this... a working holiday scheme? Care to share more? Got any websites to point towards? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I've been feeling stuck in a rut of late too. I needed a change so I decided to go on a shopping spree ! (Love my new jeans!) If you feel like an adventure, sure, move. I've always loved it. I would recommend differentiating "feeling in a rut" and "being single", however. We all know meeting a new guy is only a band-aid solution to restlessness. It's possible to feel in a rut, even when one has a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
StrangeBehaviors Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Wonder how many women in NYC are getting their passports ready to move to Australia, etc.? Hmmmm...... Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would recommend differentiating "feeling in a rut" and "being single", however. We all know meeting a new guy is only a band-aid solution to restlessness. It's possible to feel in a rut, even when one has a relationship. Good point. Remember, no one has got every part of their life thriving at the same time. If you've got a great career, great friends, and great place to live, that is nothing to take for granted! Personally, I've never regretted a big move, even when the adjustment has been very difficult. But the story related earlier holds true for me: wherever I've been planted, I've found it similarly possible to "bloom". Wherever you go, there you are. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I am actually considering NYC. I know women:men ratios are poor, but browsing OKC, there seems to be plenty of very interesting men there. I know I could get a job.....there is something about NYC that I am drawn to. I think NYC would actually work quite well for you. From your posts, you seem like an ambitious woman who "knows exactly what she wants out of a man." I have a few female friends like this. They love NYC and they all came from other cities ... Houston, Los Angeles, foreign cities. For a laidback guy like me, it's hard to find the kind of woman I want here. People have told me Hawaii would have been the perfect place for me... But I like so many other things about the city, I'm not going to move just because I don't prefer the dating scene. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 ES:I understand the issue of moving to see if you can find a mate. However, moving to NYC may not be the answer. The American dating style may be even more difficult for you. Young big city men are not into LTR or settling down. You will likely get more of the same. Very true. I still think you are simply looking for the wrong men. Furthermore, you are expecting these men to make you happy. ... and expecting the 'rush' of feelings/emotions in the beginning to last. Or believing this is 'love'. The folks that fall in love and have no problems finding a mate are generally intrinsically happy and they do not need the mate to be happy. They are already happy on their own and the mate simply supplements their happy state. True to a point. They still need to learn adequate screening methods. They can have lots of offers of relationships... but still end up with overall poor relationships (in the end) if they haven't learned this skill. OTOH, if you are unhappy you will never find a person that can make you happy all the time. Whatever happiness you get will be transient. No man can make a woman happy 24/7. It is simply impossible to do that. Yep. That is why insecure men and women become promiscuous. In the end they developed criteria that no one can ever meet. Of course, I agree. In any even I wish you luck. As do I. Link to post Share on other sites
weallfalldown Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 come to th UK....we're much better..... Link to post Share on other sites
Easyguy14 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Just a mini-rant. And I mean it, none, zero.. It has been years since I met anyone that I got even a little excited about. This includes online dating too. My relationship with my ex was more forced than genuine attraction. It was a purely logical decision for me: he was just the best option out of bad options. I am very frustrated....I had dates with 9 men in the last few months..and truth to be told, I couldn't care less about any of them. They were all meh, bland and forgettable. I truly do no feel like my standards are too high. I do live in one of those cities with bad ratios for single women (in fact second worst after NYC). I refuse to force another relationship like my last with a "meh" guy....I feel like I just want to join other similar thread starters and "throw in the towel".... maybe you should come to nyc seriously. of course theres alot of single women here but thats by choice mostly. alot of games going on here but if you're serious about finding someone stick to the bigger cities and stay out of small towns because its much harder out there. places like chicago, new orleans, and dallas to name a few would be a good idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Exactly. I just like the thought of complete change. Again, I am still only pondering my options. I know what you mean. We moved to the U.S. in 1990 (again, after eleven + years), moved from California to Ohio in 1994; a certain amount of stability has been good, but we're stagnating here now. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would visit first before moving to NYC. I grew up there and have no desire to move back since I moved out. It really has a become a shallow status obsessed place only for the 1%. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I know several Americans that moved to Australia and are quite happy. My cousin and her husband went through everything to emigrate to Australia (Perth, I think it was), and six months later, they were back in England. I don't know why, because of family feuds. I was surprised, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Just a mini-rant. And I mean it, none, zero.. I truly do no feel like my standards are too high. I do live in one of those cities with bad ratios for single women (in fact second worst after NYC). Funny thing about ratios in stuff like this is that it really doesn't matter. If you can't find one datable man in a major city, no matter the ratio, the problem is probably not your area. You move...same ****, different place. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would highly recommend putting the poster (I think there was only one) who said the bolded on ignore, too. I don't think she's any different from the Bitter Brigade around here. Who said that - about fabulous queens and lowly slobs? It wasn't me, but Woggle had quoted me. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Who said that - about fabulous queens and lowly slobs? It wasn't me, but Woggle had quoted me. It certainly wasn't you. It was somebody who openly admitted she was not attracted to her boyfriend and said it was because the majority of men were lowly slobs. If somebody is having a hard time finding somebody that gives them a spark then fine but don't put down an entire gender because of it. I realize I am guilty of that myself but as you can see I really am determined to change since I got back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would visit first before moving to NYC. I grew up there and have no desire to move back since I moved out. It really has a become a shallow status obsessed place only for the 1%. Definitely. I would visit few different cities as a tourist and see if I like the vibe first. I would not make this decision lightly... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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