iris219 Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I agree with you. When I was in my 20s, I was meeting single men all the time. Nowdays, I never meet anyone that's over 30 and single (apart form dating sites). It's not even that I don't meet single men I like...I just don't meet ANY single men in that age-group. Welcome to my world! It sucks. I go out a lot and I don't even think about meeting men anymore because there simply aren't any. In my 20s, there were single men everywhere, but I was in a couple of LTRs, so I wasn't looking. Now that I'm actively looking, there's nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Maybe your people picker needs some adjustment... Dating is about finding out what you want and don't want in a relationship but if you constantly just go after what you want and don't adjust what you are looking for based on past experiences ie:..what you don't want, you then will just date the same type of guys and keep in a cyclic pattern of picking the wrong men for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Maybe your people picker needs some adjustment... Dating is about finding out what you want and don't want in a relationship but if you constantly just go after what you want and don't adjust what you are looking for based on past experiences ie:..what you don't want, you then will just date the same type of guys and keep in a cyclic pattern of picking the wrong men for you. But if her experience is like mine, there are simply NO men. It's not that she's picking the wrong guys. I know ES has been doing some OLD, but I'm sure it's hard to entirely determine what a person is like from a brief profile. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Um... those links don't specifically say how many single (as in, not dating anyone) men there are in a city. It just gives general population schematics. "Single" is also a tricky word when it comes to the government, since it technically means "not married," but there could be tons of co-habiting or dating couples. For example, my city supposedly has tons of single men according to US statistics. But there isn't a break-down of the AGE of those single men, or if they are living with a girlfriend/fiancee. I know lots of men who aren't married, but certainly aren't single! start with this http://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-03.pdf This overview tells you a lot, and if you do some digging, you can get access to the raw data. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I guess you're going to have to stop using sunscreen and take up smoking so you stop looking like a college kid. Or I could just stop eating properly, and start wearing socks and sandals. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Or I could just stop eating properly, and start wearing socks and sandals. And complain about things a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 But if her experience is like mine, there are simply NO men. It's not that she's picking the wrong guys. I know ES has been doing some OLD, but I'm sure it's hard to entirely determine what a person is like from a brief profile. She went on 9 dates in a couple of weeks.. that isn't no men.. Going on 1 date in 3 months would be no men. The men are there.. she is just picking men by replaying the tapes of her past rather than learning that the guys she is attracted too aren't really all that good for her and adjusting her wants based on her true needs. This is of course only my opinion... Maybe there really aren't any single men in her area... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Sure, but how do you figure out which cities those are? There are cities/regions that are 'hot' for different reasons... some are tech centers... bustling with new startups (Silicon Valley, Boston... even the Carolinas) Others are crowded with hipsters and eco-friendly awareness (Austin, TX, Pacific Northwest). You're in the IT field(?)... check out where the movers and shakers are. Interestingly enough... all of those areas (except for Boston and the Carolinas) have a much higher male to female singles ratio than alot of areas in the country. Since you are such a smart girl... you could dig into the Census data too. Wikipedia commonly posts demographic data. Male/Female ratio and age groups too. Google is your friend!! Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I don't think it's your location. I think it's our age. I'm in the same predicament and it's not just because I live in a small town. I've traveled to major cities this year and there were virtually no single men over 30. I have friends who live in large cities and they don't know any single men over 30. I have literally sat in places (restaurants, bars, airports, etc.) and tried to count the number of single men over 30 and there simply weren't any. (I've made friends do this too and they agree--no men). Men over 30 are either with women or have on wedding bands. I know it's frustrating. There are some men out there, but very few, and it's going to take a lot of luck to meet them. It's the location ... i think. Would be awesome if it were true though, it means that guys like me have tons of abundance. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 How about, "there are no men in my city that I believe are good enough for me." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Since I live in Jersey, I tried dating in NYC, wow, it was like nailing jello to a wall. Never had one positive dating experience from a woman from NYC. Different dating culture maybe. Say you work on Wall Street, try again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 NYC is the home of the BBB, don't date women from there even if you're an engineer, doctor or lawyer. LOL @ thinking engineers and lawyers make a lot of $ just because they are engineers and lawyers. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I don't, most women do. I'm one of those three and I can tell you that women don't. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I've spent most of my life, and all of my dating life in NYC. WTF. I'm nice. And I understand what you guys are saying but I also know For Sure that men can get intimidated by women there for no reason, or just because she is dressed a certain way or works a certain place. Many many women in NYC are small town transplants and end up being way more comfortable dating similar guys. I've had men who have gotten to know me tell me that they initially thought I was unapproachable...and then we laugh about it, because I may or may not like you... But I am certainly approachable and always polite. I'm in a smaller city now , but I've spent so much time in NYC...it's like the people here have no...sense of urgency? Excitement? The men, and I'm talking older experienced men...are just unambitious in general...uninteresting. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 last time I dated an engineer he spent an hour showing me how he turned his ride on lawn mower into ...I don't know what the hell it was, but I told him it had already been invented and he stayed quiet for like..the day. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 There are no dating prospects in my city, I get it. When you live in a small town, and didn't get married in your 20's, nothing is left, except for some very unappealing people. When I lived in LA and San Diego, the dating pool was HUGE in any age category. Life in a small town definitely has it's pro's and con's. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 There's a story goes a bit like this: An old man was sitting on a park bench when he was approached by a much younger man, ‘Excuse me sir, can I ask if you live locally?’ ‘I’ve lived here all of my life’, the old man replied, ‘why do you ask?’ Oh, because I’m considering moving to the town and I’m wondering if you could give me your opinion on what sort of place it is.’ ‘Ah well’, said the old man, ‘tell me about the place you’re living at the moment.’ ‘Oh it’s a wonderful place’ the young man replied, ‘I have lots of friends and it’s a strong community, people support each other and look out for each other… the only reason I’m considering moving is because I’ve been offered a great job here.’ The old man smiled… ‘I think you’ll find it much the same here,’ he said. The young man departed, much re-assured. By the sort of artificial coincidence that only happens in myths, the same man was approached later that day by another young man with the same question. When asked about his current home, however, the second man had a very different answer. ‘It’s a terrible place, I have no friends and people who pretend to be my friends always end up stealing from me, the neighbours don’t so much as acknowledge you, nobody is interested in anybody and they do nothing to help each other.’ ‘Oh dear’ replied the old man… ‘I think you’ll find it much the same here!’ I'm sure you can work out how this applies... 7 Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Just a mini-rant. And I mean it, none, zero.. Let me know when you move to London. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Try Alaska. Lots of very masculine men with lots of money but no one to spend it on. They are desperate for women. I'm sure they are desperate not just for women but for IT people. It's a beautiful state but you have to like winter activities to enjoy it. I thought I heard that residents get some sort of payment every year from the oil companies, too. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 I agree with you. When I was in my 20s, I was meeting single men all the time. Nowdays, I never meet anyone that's over 30 and single (apart form dating sites). It's not even that I don't meet single men I like...I just don't meet ANY single men in that age-group. Well you can't blame the the war on terrorism for the thinning of the ranks. The resource boom has probably contributed a bit to your dilemma in your part of Oz but then how many of those roughnecks gone north would you have dated. Imagine how tough it would have been for your grandmother back in east europe in the post wwII period...thats when I reckon women really had it tough finding a good young man. ES - We know you can pull hotties, and you have had 9 dates in the past couple of months so thats not bad going, keep that up and you will find someone to click with soon. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Move to China then. There's an absolute shortage of women because of the 1 child policy and a bunch of sexually frustrated guys, I kid you not. What avenues is the OP using to meet guys? Have you tried speed dating and singles events? What about guys through friends or co-workers? I've spent most of my life, and all of my dating life in NYC. WTF. I'm nice. And I understand what you guys are saying but I also know For Sure that men can get intimidated by women there for no reason, or just because she is dressed a certain way or works a certain place. Many many women in NYC are small town transplants and end up being way more comfortable dating similar guys. I've had men who have gotten to know me tell me that they initially thought I was unapproachable...and then we laugh about it, because I may or may not like you... But I am certainly approachable and always polite. I'm in a smaller city now , but I've spent so much time in NYC...it's like the people here have no...sense of urgency? Excitement? The men, and I'm talking older experienced men...are just unambitious in general...uninteresting. I have a pretty similar argument against women here in NYC. Yes a lot of transplants and most from the midwest or small towns. But silly that women here outnumber men and it's very easy for a woman to meet a guy, but difficult the opposite way. It doesn't help that women here are 10x pickier just because. Most of my female co-workers are single, and that screams there's something wrong here in NY...unfortunately most of which I'm not attracted to. Oh did I forget to mention a lot of women here are boring too? Link to post Share on other sites
StrangeBehaviors Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Just a mini-rant. And I mean it, none, zero.. It has been years since I met anyone that I got even a little excited about. This includes online dating too. My relationship with my ex was more forced than genuine attraction. It was a purely logical decision for me: he was just the best option out of bad options. I am very frustrated....I had dates with 9 men in the last few months..and truth to be told, I couldn't care less about any of them. They were all meh, bland and forgettable. I truly do no feel like my standards are too high. I do live in one of those cities with bad ratios for single women (in fact second worst after NYC). I refuse to force another relationship like my last with a "meh" guy....I feel like I just want to join other similar thread starters and "throw in the towel".... Alright, alright....where are you at? I'll see what I can do to come take you out. Gotta' warn you though, you're gonna' love me. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Move to NY Giggity Lolz Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 When I lived in NYC I had no problem at all getting dates but then again that was a different era in the East Village right before 9/11. Much more innocent than what we have now. The city itself has become a whole lot more money and status driven and places like that tend to not be good for dating. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Alright, alright....where are you at? I'll see what I can do to come take you out. Gotta' warn you though, you're gonna' love me. You got to do more than just date her for while, she wants someone to get married to. Link to post Share on other sites
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