Kamille Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Really you don't need lots of datable men in your city. You only need one. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 All in all I wouldnt fret OP. Finding the right person can take time, and just because you havent found him yet doesnt mean hes not out there. Im glad you refuse to settle. Im the same way. I know what that real feeling of passion and love feels like and nothing replaces it. But I also know how rare it is to meet a girl who makes me feel that way. This isnt to say theres something wrong with most women out there, or most women in my area. This is to say that Im very unique, as many people are, and it takes a certain kind of girl to make my heart burst open in a gushy mushy way. In time OP, in time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 There's a story goes a bit like this: I'm sure you can work out how this applies... I like that story. I haven't ruled out that the problem is me rather than the city Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 How were your experiences in other cities? Do you feel it would be worth a try to move? I have no experience in other cities.....I have lived in this one since 21 and being a later bloomer, I haven't dated prior to that. I went away for business to other countries/cities quite a few times. It seemed that I DID always meet men there, but I was there for only a week or two. My impression was that those men were after one night stands....I just wasn't there long enough to draw any conclusions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 You got to do more than just date her for while, she wants someone to get married to. Yes and no. With ending of my last relationship, my desperation to get married is gone too. Basically, I just want to fall in love 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Just a mini-rant. And I mean it, none, zero.. It has been years since I met anyone that I got even a little excited about. This includes online dating too. My relationship with my ex was more forced than genuine attraction. It was a purely logical decision for me: he was just the best option out of bad options. I am very frustrated....I had dates with 9 men in the last few months..and truth to be told, I couldn't care less about any of them. They were all meh, bland and forgettable. I truly do no feel like my standards are too high. I do live in one of those cities with bad ratios for single women (in fact second worst after NYC). I refuse to force another relationship like my last with a "meh" guy....I feel like I just want to join other similar thread starters and "throw in the towel".... This is not right at all. Girls are always single in NYC 'cause they wanna be & they dont wanna give any good men a chance. They want something in a romance novel or something to make them give it a chance & that cant happen in real life. Why dont u girls get that?! I'm really really sure your expectations are so high no one can reach it & thats not right. Guys like me gotta sit here & suffer 'cause of girls like u . Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 This is not right at all. Girls are always single in NYC 'cause they wanna be & they dont wanna give any good men a chance. They want something in a romance novel or something to make them give it a chance & that cant happen in real life. Why dont u girls get that?! I'm really really sure your expectations are so high no one can reach it & thats not right. Guys like me gotta sit here & suffer 'cause of girls like u . She's not in NYC but agreed, the bulk of single attractive women in this city are holding out for a man that does not exist. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 This is not right at all. Girls are always single in NYC 'cause they wanna be & they dont wanna give any good men a chance. They want something in a romance novel or something to make them give it a chance & that cant happen in real life. Why dont u girls get that?! I'm really really sure your expectations are so high no one can reach it & thats not right. Guys like me gotta sit here & suffer 'cause of girls like u . Oh why are you complaining, you called me old in another thread Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 My standards are not high at all. In fact, my friends think that they should be higher. I don't care about height, as long as he is above 5'7" (being that I am 5'8"). I want someone that is smart, cultured, kind and has a decent, stable job....I NEED to find him physically attractive though. I seem to find one or the other (either attractive men that just don't have the personality, or personality without the attraction). More than anything, I am looking for a feeling. I can't even put it into words. But I need to feel that spark and I need a man that will make me feel a certain way. I really do not think this is too much to ask. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 More than anything, I am looking for a feeling. I can't even put it into words. But I need to feel that spark and I need a man that will make me feel a certain way. I really do not think this is too much to ask. You're asking for something you can't even explain yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 You're asking for something you can't even explain yourself. Love is not exactly logical. I will know it when I feel it. As I said, I had a "logical" "great guy on paper" relationship. I was miserable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Love is not exactly logical. I will know it when I feel it. As I said, I had a "logical" "great guy on paper" relationship. I was miserable. So then, you've overlooked guys that met your criteria on paper, because they lacked an "it" factor. Love is a funny thing. Sometimes it's a slow burner. I know we all want that moment where we spot a stranger in the street, make eye contact, and just "know", but it's not always like that. Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Oh why are you complaining, you called me old in another thread Please show me where 'cause I never insult people. I'm not that type. And u shot me down 'cause u said I'm too young for u remember? I wanted to meet older maturer girls but if they'r gonna be difficult like u I'll pass. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 So then, you've overlooked guys that met your criteria on paper, because they lacked an "it" factor. Love is a funny thing. Sometimes it's a slow burner. I know we all want that moment where we spot a stranger in the street, make eye contact, and just "know", but it's not always like that. You could say that. They lacked the "it" factor that really made me feel something.... I find it hard enough to even meet guys that have all that "on paper". I would definitely give them a shot and DID in the past. I am the type of person where either it's there or it's not and there is usually no in between. But yes, I am keeping an open mind and am prepared to meet a variety of men thorough OLD, even if I don't find their pictures/profiles that exciting. Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 My standards are not high at all. In fact, my friends think that they should be higher. I don't care about height, as long as he is above 5'7" (being that I am 5'8"). I want someone that is smart, cultured, kind and has a decent, stable job....I NEED to find him physically attractive though. I seem to find one or the other (either attractive men that just don't have the personality, or personality without the attraction). More than anything, I am looking for a feeling. I can't even put it into words. But I need to feel that spark and I need a man that will make me feel a certain way. I really do not think this is too much to ask. This is too much to ask 'cause your looking for a fantasy in the movies. I know thats what it is yes I do I really really do! This spark thing u speak of sounds silly & I cant believe girls are like this. Here I am wanting so bad to meet nice cute girls & yet they sound like u?! What a headache . Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 My standards are not high at all. In fact, my friends think that they should be higher. I don't care about height, as long as he is above 5'7" (being that I am 5'8"). I want someone that is smart, cultured, kind and has a decent, stable job....I NEED to find him physically attractive though. I seem to find one or the other (either attractive men that just don't have the personality, or personality without the attraction). More than anything, I am looking for a feeling. I can't even put it into words. But I need to feel that spark and I need a man that will make me feel a certain way. I really do not think this is too much to ask. Another typical silly female. And you're way too old for this crazy talk too but okay; do it until your blue in the face. I got some advice for you yet: retire to a convent. I promise that no one will miss you. Seriously, think about it at your age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 This is too much to ask 'cause your looking for a fantasy in the movies. I know thats what it is yes I do I really really do! This spark thing u speak of sounds silly & I cant believe girls are like this. Here I am wanting so bad to meet nice cute girls & yet they sound like u?! What a headache . Spark is really just physical/sexual attraction. My theory is that men don't have so much of "spark" related problems because they find a high % of women sexually attractive. Women on the other hand, don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 Another typical silly female. And you're way too old for this crazy talk too but okay; do it until your blue in the face. I got some advice for you yet: retire to a convent. I promise that no one will miss you. Seriously, think about it at your age. You just made me cry Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Spark is really just physical/sexual attraction. My theory is that men don't have so much of "spark" related problems because they find a high % of women sexually attractive. Women on the other hand, don't. Sexual attraction is just that. Sexual attraction. No more no less. I live in a city where there are a lot of sexually attractive women. I am sexually attracted to them, but there's very of them I feel a "spark" with. The only ones I feel a spark with are the ones who have genuine, unique, personalities. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 You just made me cry Well, I'm glad I did. Here, let me lend you a used piece of tissue to wipe away those salty tears. You good now? And don't forget to google convent. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Sexual attraction is just that. Sexual attraction. No more no less. I live in a city where there are a lot of sexually attractive women. I am sexually attracted to them, but there's very of them I feel a "spark" with. The only ones I feel a spark with are the ones who have genuine, unique, personalities. Very *few* of them. Damn you LS edit. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Spark is really just physical/sexual attraction. My theory is that men don't have so much of "spark" related problems because they find a high % of women sexually attractive. Women on the other hand, don't. I'm going to have to point out the contradiction here...and we'll just assume the binary rating system where a person is either a 0 or a 1. If more women are seen by men as 1's, while fewer men are seen by women as 1's, then wouldn't men have the "spark"-related problems, as fewer women will find them sexually attracive...? That is, they will have a harder time finding a woman who has that spark for them...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 Sexual attraction is just that. Sexual attraction. No more no less. I live in a city where there are a lot of sexually attractive women. I am sexually attracted to them, but there's very of them I feel a "spark" with. The only ones I feel a spark with are the ones who have genuine, unique, personalities. OK, so there is a bit of confusion regarding the definition of spark. What you describe, I define as "chemistry".... and that is exactly what is lacking with all these men. So you get the concept. Would you date a woman that you don't feel that "spark" with, spark as defined by you? Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 OK, so there is a bit of confusion regarding the definition of spark. What you describe, I define as "chemistry".... and that is exactly what is lacking with all these men. So you get the concept. Would you date a woman that you don't feel that "spark" with, spark as defined by you? Yes. I'm not looking to be swept off my feet and whisked away into the sunset. I'm looking to have fun with attractive women and see where it goes from there. Who knows, the spark may not be there initially, but might come at a later point in time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 I'm going to have to point out the contradiction here...and we'll just assume the binary rating system where a person is either a 0 or a 1. If more women are seen by men as 1's, while fewer men are seen by women as 1's, then wouldn't men have the "spark"-related problems, as fewer women will find them sexually attracive...? That is, they will have a harder time finding a woman who has that spark for them...? Oh absolutely.. I guess that's what I was getting at rather clumsily Men hate the very term "spark" because they have no problems feeling it but they do have a problem finding a woman that feels it for them in return. Thus, they also lack empathy when women say they can't find a man they feel that "spark" with. So they do have spark related problems, just not in the same sense that women do. (spark=physical/sexual attraction for this post) Link to post Share on other sites
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