YES!!!! Another Friday and Saturday Night Alone!

[gd1039]

sarcasm

 

anyone else?

[packersgirl]

Welcome to my life...

 

With the exception of tonight, I actually went out to a good-bye party. But normally yes, every weekend I'm home alone. Pathetic, huh?

[clia]

Don't you people have friends?

[moimeme]

D'ya think, maybe, Clia, you could be a little bit meaner?

[packersgirl]

Sure we do... but if gd's life is anything like mine, they all have significant others and of course are wanting to spend the weekends with them. Or, they are working. Come on now, I'm pathetic, but I'm not that bad... I do have friends

[clia]

D'ya think, maybe, Clia, you could be a little bit meaner?

 

Actually, yes I could.

[Bunnygirl]

Being single in a couples world SUCKS. I have spent every weekend over the past 6 months at home by myself, feeling more depressed as the minutes ticked over... The days are okay - you can go to the gym or go shopping... But when the sun sets that horrible feeling creeps over me that Im in for another lonely night of binge eating and watching crappy TV.

 

But you know what? Life is what you make it. It is so easy to get stuck into the pattern of doing nothing every weekend. It is easy to feel sorry for yourself instead of getting up off your butt and making things happen. For the past 3 weekends now I have arranged to meet friends for dinner, to go to the movies, bars... Once you start calling around you will be surprised at how many things are happening and how many people are up for some fun. I used to think it wasn't worth the effort when all I'd do when I went out was drink too much or spend too much money. But it's worth it!

 

I feel happier and more energised than I have in ages and it's because I have a social life to look forward to on the weekend. It used to be so defeating when co-workers would rush off to their fabulous lives every Friday night while I stayed back working with nothing else to do. Now that Im rushing off too (even if it's not to Prince Charming), I feel like I am a more confident and happier person. The days (both weekday and weekend) go so much faster when you're not sitting at home overanalysing your boring life.

 

Get out there Clia and have some fun! You owe it to yourself.

[SnowWhite]

Originally posted by clia

Don't you people have friends?

 

Maybe they're just homebodies. Sometimes I'd rather take a nap on a Friday night then worry about what to wear, where to go, or who to call. But of course I can't disappoint the masses.

[clia]

Get out there Clia and have some fun! You owe it to yourself.

 

Ummm...are you talking to packersgirl? I wasn't complaining about my life at all.

 

Maybe they're just homebodies. Sometimes I'd rather take a nap on a Friday night then worry about what to wear, where to go, or who to call.

 

If this is true, then why are they complaining?

 

I don't understand the concept of being sad about being home/alone on a Friday/Saturday night. If I want to go out, I go out, regardless of whether or not I can find someone to go with me. And what bunnygirl says is true -- you'd be surprised at how many people would love to get a call to get out and grab some dinner with you.

[packersgirl]

I wasn't complaining about my life... I have a great life actually. Just sometimes it slows down a bit, and that usually tends to happen more towards the weekends. Some weekends I love it because I need the rest. Other weekends I'm out and about and doing things with friends till all hours of the night! Lately I've spent most weekends home, it's been a sad sight to see myself at home every weekend, but its ok. It might be a little pathetic, but I find things to do at home. Read a good book, do a Bible study, bake something, ect... If I'm desperate enough to go out, I will. But as it is right now, I'm in a transition stage. I just lost quite a few friends, it was my decision, they weren't the type of friends I needed in my life, but because of that, I'm working hard to establish and re-establish friendships.

 

Clia, you really don't need to be so harsh about this subject though.

[clia]

I never said anyone here was pathetic.

 

I asked a question.

 

I was accused of being mean.

 

I said I don't understand why people stay home when they don't want to be home. There's nothing wrong with spending a Friday or Saturday night at home when you prefer to read, watch TV, or just relax and go to bed early after a long week.

 

Nothing wrong with it at all.

 

If you perceive what I said as being harsh, then I apologize. But sitting around being sad about being stuck at home gets you nowhere -- go out. Go to a movie. Go out to dinner. Go sit at your local bar. Go to a museum. Go to an art gallery. Go to a coffee shop. There's absolutely no reason why you need to be home if you don't want to be -- there's a big world out there.

[blue17]

how old are you gd? I was a senior in HS, and I know that for a good part of this year, I got in a rut of not doing anything on friday or saturday nights for a good few months. Then I talked to this girl about the subject, and she mentioned she had no idea I wasn't doing anything on the weekend. I guess I was just expecting ppl to arrange something to do, and go out of their way to call me up and tell me what's going on. She told me otherwise, that she usually has to call around to see what's going on. So i started callin my friends more often to see what's everyone doing...and sure enough I started going out more. You start hanging out with people more often, then suddenly they invite you to places now and then....and you are going out almost every weekend. The key is to just call people and ask, because I've found out that people are very lazy, and won't go out of their way to arrange everything for their friends.

[packersgirl]

I called myself pathetic! I'm not accusing you of that in anyway clia... no worries. I actually fully agree with you about getting out there and doing something. Self pity is the way to self destruction.

[Wireframe]

I think the main point of the thread was about not having an SO to spend the nights with. If that is the case, then I can relate. You see couples freaking EVERYWHERE! That stuff can put a dent in your self-esteem.

[Aonz]

I work Friday and Saturday nights which isn't really too bad because I need the money.

 

As for friends I don't think I have any friends anymore. I'm not even sure if I've ever really did have any real friends anyway. True I had friends of convenience: at school, at college, at uni but i don't know if i could call them real friends. Some I haven’t seen for years and I can't say I miss them at all, I don't really know what that says about the kind of person i am? Maybe I'm a callous, shallow and selfish person? I dunno....

 

Maybe there is such a thing as karma or reincarnation, maybe I’m paying in this life for the sins I committed in a previous life.

 

Or maybe I’m just a sad moaning git either way I’m tired now I need sleep.

[simplybrill]

WOW...yeah Im goin through the same thing, and recovering from a breakup at the same time.

 

Im without wheels at the moment, so that halts a lot of my fun, callin friends up to do stuff, and givin them the short end of the stick by making them drive to get you, to hang out isnt exactly what I feel like doing on a friday/saturday night (not to mention I feel awful for even making them drive with gas prices the way they are) So I end up doing nothing, and it feels like Ive been doing nothing - chilling by myself and spinning my wheels for a whole year, I feel so unsatisfied!!!

 

My guy friends have girlfriends, and the ones that dont either creep me out now, or have gotten so macho that they dont want to hang out with chicks for some reason...my girl friends have boyfriends...very aggrivating.

 

Im at that hellish point in my life again, where I know I need to make new friends, right when I thought I'd reached a point of normalcy, where I wasnt recycling through friend groups,,,and now its like im starting from square one with my friends and my love life. Its scary, I hate starting over.

[gd1039]

Wow...this striked up decent amount of responses. Sorry I haven't been to the site since I posted this or I would have jumped in sooner...

 

packersgirl - sounds like we are in a similar boat. I actually had a good friend for about 2 years then she started dating some guy and then she pretty much ditched everyone even her family. We used to hang out 2, 3 even 4 times a week and now I think since she started dating this guy (about 1.5 years now) I have seen her about 4 times. My other friend lives an hour away and is doing the same thing with her girlfriend. Only we still talk, but he won't do anything unless she is there.

 

Bunnygirl - you are right...being single in a couples world does suck.

 

snowwhite - I am not exactly a homebody, but kind of. To me, a friday or saturday night is not a whole lot different than a weeknight durring the summer. When I have to get up early for school it is another story. I am not unsociable, infact quite the opposite, but I can often find things to do (usually at home) to entertain myself without other people. So typically I fend well being a loner.

 

 

Blue - I just finished my sophomore year in college. Oh yes colege is great lots of people to be friends with, but i'll get to that in a minute.

 

Wireframe - you are mainly correct that not haveing a SO puts a dent in your self esteem. But its the friends thing to, which I will get to.

 

Aonz - we are also ina similar boat. I have lots of friends, but only a couple real friends, and they aren't friends with eachother, so there is no group. Most the people I am friends with at work or school are more aquaintences. Even people I was friends with in high school, I don't really miss any of them. I guess part of that goes back to how I am sorta a loner.

 

So here is my overall comments. I am actually extremely popular at work and in some my smaller classes at work I do pretty good too. I am very outgoing and hilarious. I can almost always make people laugh. The problem is that I have trouble getting people to hang out with me sometimes. It always seems that plans (supposing there were plans in the first place) fall through or some other garbage.

 

One problem I run into is that I don't drink, and that is what 99% of people my age want to do. I don't have a problem with people that drink and I will even hang out at bars and I can still have a good time. But, not when the drinking is the focus of the night. If all people want to do is get drunk, I am not going to fit in well, which is fine with me. I prefer to hangout at pool halls or coffee houses anyways. Going to see movies, play mini golf, whatever. I would rather do that stuff than hang out at bars all the time, but like I said, I will go to them and can still have a good time. BTW, I don't dance so clubs are not really an option.

 

And this leads to the problem with getting a girlfriend. You would be suprised how hard it is to find a "good girl". I have mentioned this before on this site, but I will do it again. I know that it is hard, so I try and not get too hung up on it because if only a small percentage of girls fit what I am looking for its my own deal. I am really not even picky. I just want a girl that isnt a obsessive alcoholic or a druggie or a slut (and no, it is not a double standard because even though they aren't called sluts, I don't think any better of guys that sleep around).

 

To me, it is mostly about the personality of a girl. I want to date an average good looking girl with a awsome personality. I would date a girl like that over a perfect 10 with a ****ty personality any day.

 

But here is the vicious cycle. Well for one girls like this have proved to be very difficult to find. Second, seeing as that I don't get out much it gets kind of hard to meet girls. School is good, but it hasnt worked successfully in 2 years. I had a few dates (if you would call them that) but nothing good ever came of them.

So, when most of your friends are aquaintences that you don't talk to often, and you don't get out all to often then the cycle just reapeats.

 

Sure, I could go out alone but that is ****ty and you feel uncomfortable the whole time because you are trying to look natural and blend in but you don't feel like you are.

 

Ugh.

[simplybrill]

hey, I just finished my second year too - and yeah it is hard to find people to hang out with that arent alcoholics, druggys or go clubbing...which by the way I never really "got" from a girl's perspective- whats so fun about going to the club dressed like a hooker and havin guys ogle and not to mention there's always the 5 geezers that show up just to stare. Gross.

 

Its kind of tricky finding a "good guy" too, so you're not the only one walkin around campus wondering where all the normal people are.

[packersgirl]

gd1039... we are in the same boat!!! I too am pretty popular at work, I love all the people I work with. But the thing is I'm a strong Christian with high morals and values. I don't drink, smoke, dress inappropriately, do drugs, cuss, ect... I hang out with people from work every once in a while, but they're all into the drinking thing, and I don't really fit it. There are only two people that don't drink, both are my good friends, but unfortunantely one of them used to be my best friend and left me for "better" friends... so she and I don't hang out all that often, plus, of course, she has a boyfriend. The other just happens to be the guy I'm interested in, but I can't really hang out with him without making someone else upset, so I'm kinda screwed there. Its true that 99% of people our age just want to drink. Personally, I don't see the need to drink. I'm outgoing enough to have a good time without alcohol. But, I do find it freaking hilarious to watch drunk people make fools of themselves

 

Since I've started posting here though, I've started making a more conscience effort to find friends... well more friends I went back to the college group at my church last night, saw some people I haven't seen for weeks there. Plus the incoming freshman needed someone to sit by, and since I work with the high school kids at church, they all know me. I hung out with my best friend and went to lunch with some college folk after church yesterday. I even called a friend to see if she wanted to have dinner with me tonight. Although I am still sitting at home tonight, with no plans, I'm feeling better about my social life. I'm tired of not having a good one and Lord willing, thats about to change.

[clia]

And this leads to the problem with getting a girlfriend. You would be suprised how hard it is to find a "good girl".

 

Have you tried online dating? You can specify exactly what you want in a girlfriend! And even if you don't hit it off, it's a great way to meet new people.

[Goldmund2004]

I hear ya on having the occasional sad weekend home alone...I read your post and thought I had a lonely weekend myself, but then I counted up my past 50+ weekends since getting divorced and realized maybe 25-50% were spent home doing nothing and these are the ones that irk me--so my advice to you (and to myself--this is the beauty of this forum) is:

 

- Count your blessings. Yeah, you're single and most of your friends are married or have a bf / gf but you don't really spend every weekend alone. When I was married, when my wife was visiting family or out of town on work I relished the alone time--no honeydo list, no TV compromise, etc. Being alone can be great, although it is stressful when you aren't in the mood for it. Those times--get exercise or work on your career / job. I ran about 7 miles yesterday and worked on Saturday b/c I had one of those weekends, and it wasn't all that bad.

 

- Go out alone. You know, I have this fear that going out alone is like having a big red "L" for "Loser" on your forehead, until I tried it. I am not ready for dating yet but a symphony was being performed on Thursday that I really wanted to see, and didn't have anyone who could make it so I went by myself. And you know what, it was fun. I talked to some strangers and actually saw that there were lots of people there by themselves. They were the people that when I was part of a couple I never paid any attention to because they were there by themselves. And there were some pretty girls there, by themselves...I think I might actually go do that again...

 

So, I've made it a point that if I really, really want to go out, and all my friends are busy with their spouses or whatever and it looks like another weekend alone, I am going out.

[gd1039]

clia - actually yes I have tried the online dating thing for the exact reasons you said. It hasnt gone as planned for me yet though, and I have been doing it for about 10 months...although I am not a subscriber to any of the ones I use (there are some crafty ways around that) I just haven't gotten the kind of responses I was hoping, nor have I found enough girl that I think fit the bill to justify the subscription yet.

 

I have talked to a few girls from different site though, and none of it has gone well. I've gotten some crazy girls, some that looked totally different in other pics than they did in their profile, and other girls that seemed amazing. But then for whatever reason the ones I am interested in don't seem interested in me...

 

Goldmund - I may try going to some coffee place alone this weekend. Ill have to find some book that I can pretend to be interested in so that it looks like I am doing something though.

 

Another problem I find with going out alone is that I am honestly embarrassed when someone asks me what I did that night and I say I went to (fill in the blank). They ask who I went with, and I have to say...just me.

 

I feel that it just drives the point home that I dont really have many friends that I actually hang out with.

[clia]

Another problem I find with going out alone is that I am honestly embarrassed when someone asks me what I did that night and I say I went to (fill in the blank). They ask who I went with, and I have to say...just me.

 

You don't have to say that! Just say you met up with some people [from your apartment building] [from your school] [from your gym] , etc., and then change the subject. Works all the time.

 

As far as OLD is concerned, you may need to meet a lot of toads before you find your princess. I still think it's a great way to meet the kind of people you won't meet at bars and the like. Maybe you should cough up the money and pay for a subscription and do it for real?

[gd1039]

simplybrill and packers girl - sorry but for some reason I missed your post when I posted my last message, so let me comment now...

 

simplybrill - lol the hooker outfits. I mean sure they look nice, buuuut....I would have to say I am overall more attracted to the girls that dress casually. Mabey we should wear signs on our foreheads when we walk around campus. It might be easier to find similar people. And, last I heard it was cool to wear signs on your head, but I could be mistaken.

 

packersgirl - I like to think I have high morals. I am catholic, but that isn't the reason I do or don't do things. Well, mabey subconciously it is since I was raised that way. But I like to think I do things based on my own judgement and what I think is right. Around my friends I can probably outswear any of them, but other times I never swear. I remember twice at work I swore about something and the girl I was working with was like "WOW I have never heard you swear before" And the thing is, I dont try to not swear when I am at work. I just rarely do it without even thinking about it.

 

I completely agree with you about not seeing the need to drink. I have plenty of fun without it and really have no interest in doing it. I actually find it funny that your excuse for not drinking is very similar to mine. And like I said, if people just want to get smashed, Im not going to fit in, but if they are just hanging out having a couple drinks, Im alright with that. I was at a party a few weeks ago and everyone was drinking but I only had water and I felt perfectly comfortable.

 

clia - yea, actually i have used the "oh I was with friends from school" excuse before lol. It actually works pretty good. BTW, what is OLD?

[AsianIdol]

NO worries I have ANSWERS! AND kudos to people with good tips and positive advice there are some serious Angels and cool positive people on this Website!

 

Ok yes we all go through really great times when everything is flowing, money, love, relationship, health, job, romance, parties everything is going our way, we are young successful! THEN WHAM it could all dissapear or change then we feel screwed, lonely, depressed and older and being single does suck especially if you were in a relationship then break up! Take heart I am going through ALL OF THE ABOVE! I know this is where it gets weird, things GOT SO BAD that I had to get a VEDIC ASTROLOGY CHART and then EVERYTHING was explained and spelled out for me! Try to get a personal Vedic Chart it explains so much about your life and what you are going through now! You must find a good one and know your exact time of birth, date and place/city as this will make the reading most accurate.

 

What I found out in my chart is that I am supposed to meet a girl fall in love for 4 years, almost get married but then have to break up and be broken hearted and poor then meet a rich wealthy girl get married have a son and be happy forever! Right now I am just going through the break up with my fantasy blonde fiance and being at the bottom, lonely, single, depressed stage(sound familiar?), but thanks to my personal reading feel like my real soul mate is coming soon!

 

We will all have different charts and karmas but what I have also learned from Vedic Astrology is that we all have certain karmas, or certain results or reap what you sow type of action in our lives, also that life will be up and down no matter what, it can't always be up or always be down, sometimes it may seem down for a long time or a lot of pain and suffering but evetually and at some point it should bounce back up to!

 

Life is in stages some will be great and fun then some will be down and sad it is part of life, also try to find good Western Astrology Websites, don't look in the newspapers those suck, but there are also sometimes very real Astrological Periods and planets working against you, being in the wrong position and sometimes bad times can last up to ONE FULL YEAR! There is this period called RAHU KETU and also Mercury Retrograde, not many people know about these 2 very real and very negative periods that affect our lives, enter them into Google.com and learn all you can! For this year Virgo, Scorpio and some Libras are going through their RAHU KETU PERIOD and it is known in Vedic Astrology as the WORST YEAR IN ONE's life where you lose everything, job, money, security, friends, and are forced into a situation of being alone, lonely, isolated, people for the first time will avoid you for no reason at all, all of this because of some planets and bad Astrological time! But the good news is this September 25th Jupiter enters Libra and a positive position and all the bad reverses and all the goodness re enters our life again, so Virgos, Scorpios and Libras that have been suffering badly all year all of a sudden get good money, friends, lovers, parties, jobs again! I am totally serious and it is real even if you do not believe this it is happening already do your research! Also Mercury Retrograde starts again August 9th to Sept 3 and bad stuff happens to EVERYONE during those times, I used to NOT believe any of this but have been through so much that I KNOW IT IS REAL! THE MOST SKEPTICS can see after they research this that it is real and true! I wish someone told me about it sooner, I bet most people NEVER heard of RAHU KETU or MERCURY RETROGRADE but after you enter it into Google.com and research it I GURANTEE YOUR LIFE WILL IMPROVE and you will understand the very real forces at work in our lives! To explain the Moon affects the tide and women's periods, well so do ALL THE PLANETS in our solar system, they have very strong gravitational pulls and energy and our very own bodies are made of the SAME EXACT minerals, salt, water, magnetics as the planets so we all have a very real effect on each other is how I can best explain it! LOOK INTO IT! IT CAN ONLY HELP YOU IT DID FOR ME!