feelymcfeel Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 I've been no contact for exactly 2 months now, but just today deleted her from facebook, because I thought I wouldn't look but the temptation has been getting too strong now she's getting serious with somebody else. I feel even worse now because it's like she's finally completely gone from my life. I don't have any pictures or momentoes and I feel terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrystopha Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 No contact for 17 years now. It's no easier for me and that sometimes makes me feel pathetic. I was doing ok until Facebook. It's so hard to not ask her how she is doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ralfgarnett Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 She has really wound me up, last night I was just getting ready to go out and I got a knock on the door, it was our friend and she had a bag of presents and cards from my wife, she felt that I wasn't talking to her so she sent my pressies via our friend, what should I make of this ?, they have all gone in the bin and her card wripped up, to me its a cop out and suits her as she doesn't obviously want to meet up today for my birthday, right now I am so annoyed with her for her stupidity and her actions in every way, I honestly feel like shaking her in to life for all this and telling her to wake up and realise what she is doing, I think I am starting to dislike her for her actions, all this goes to prove is her total lack of communicational skills, what should I do now ?, should I e-mail her and tell her that I am annoyed with her, or should I thank her for the pressies and cards ?, or should I just do nothing, stay in NC and see what happens ?, so confused today bit hung over which isn't helping my mindset, she had talked about us going out for lunch but that is obviously not going to happen today now which is probably for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
turningpointe Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 I've been NC for almost a year now (well it would be a year except I coincidentally ran into him 2 weeks into NC and we had a long talk that I thought gave us both closure) and its the hardest its been. I was with him for 8 years. I initiated the break up, although he broke my heart and he broke the relationship. I don't want him back but I miss him so much. I was angry for a lot of the year, or being angry with him kept me from noticing the loneliness. I thought I was doing healthy positive things that were moving my life forward. I've been exercising regularly, eating right, meditating, I was promoted at work, I've tried dating, and I am asked out enough to satisfy my ego, I feel like I should be a happy hopeful single ready to mingle... Yet I feel worse than ever. I miss having a best friend, lover, someone that close. I miss his humor and the way he nurtured me. I keep writing emails to him and deleting them. Crying every day missing him. I don't know what good it would do to contact him so I don't but it hurts much more than it did a year ago. I had his number blocked from calling and I unblocked it a month ago although I haven't had the nerve to contact with him. I'm not sure what's next in this journey, or what to do to move forward. I want to be happy again, I want to find love again, and I don't know how to accept this pain and heal this pain. I thought it would get easier after a year and its scaring the hell out of me that it's getting harder. I'm getting worried that this pain will prevent me from moving forward with someone else, and I am getting worried that I will go back to the toxic relationship we had. I hope its just the holiday blues has anyone else experienced this? Link to post Share on other sites
hudson701 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Wow that's really sad to read but I empathise completely. It's been 10 months since the split and I too feel it's just getting worse- I haven't moved on one bit and that frightens me too. I wonder will it ever end. Link to post Share on other sites
ralfgarnett Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Wow that's really sad to read but I empathise completely. It's been 10 months since the split and I too feel it's just getting worse- I haven't moved on one bit and that frightens me too. I wonder will it ever end. I agree with both the last 2 posts its 6 months next week for me and I still feel as though I'm swirling round and round not knowing what to do or where to turn, I still get upset and cry most days at some stage mostly when tired or had a bit too much to drink, I have an almost constant nagging feeling because even though she has said 3 times its over for some reason I just don't believe her and for some reason I still have hope that we can reconcile some how sometime, perhaps I'm deluded but the shock of it all has knocked me sideways and my brain cant comprehend just how what seemed to be a happy marriage could just end so quickly and out of no where, I just cant get my head round it. Link to post Share on other sites
mc18 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I completely understand what you're going through.its the same with me.its been a year already but everyday it gets tougher and tougher. I would find myself missing him everyday and crying endlessly. There will be days that I would just sleep the whole day away to not feel the pain and I wouldnt even get up from the bed to eat nor shower. I know that this is bad but I dont know how to move on from it. he is the first guy I ever really loved and the first guy to break my heart and its so painful. I would try not to contact him anymore, but a couple weeks ago he texted me and said hi and I never responded. The reason is he would always do this to me, text me and when I respond he would never reply back that will hurt me so much coz I would think the reason he texetd me was because he thought of me. I would cry endlessly and after that I told myself that when he texted me again I would never respond anymore. But now its killing me. I know I will never hear from him again, but its just that everytime he contacts me it gives me hope that he's thinking about me and wants to get back together. I knoe he's happy with his gf now but why would he do this. Why would men do that to women?text all of a sudden out of nowhere? if only they know what we're going through. Link to post Share on other sites
Adales910 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I completely understand what you're going through.its the same with me.its been a year already but everyday it gets tougher and tougher. I would find myself missing him everyday and crying endlessly. There will be days that I would just sleep the whole day away to not feel the pain and I wouldnt even get up from the bed to eat nor shower. I know that this is bad but I dont know how to move on from it. he is the first guy I ever really loved and the first guy to break my heart and its so painful. I would try not to contact him anymore, but a couple weeks ago he texted me and said hi and I never responded. The reason is he would always do this to me, text me and when I respond he would never reply back that will hurt me so much coz I would think the reason he texetd me was because he thought of me. I would cry endlessly and after that I told myself that when he texted me again I would never respond anymore. But now its killing me. I know I will never hear from him again, but its just that everytime he contacts me it gives me hope that he's thinking about me and wants to get back together. I knoe he's happy with his gf now but why would he do this. Why would men do that to women?text all of a sudden out of nowhere? if only they know what we're going through. He wants to see if he still had a part of you. It's an ego thing. All he threw at you was breadcrumbs but prop to you for standing your ground 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turningpointe Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 He wants to see if he still had a part of you. It's an ego thing. All he threw at you was breadcrumbs but prop to you for standing your ground took the words out of my mouth. As far as my situation goes, its officially been more than a year and I don't think it's just holiday blues. I realized I get the most upset when I think of his family. I was incredibly close with them. I feel like contacting them violates NC with him but there is such a void from losing him and such a void from losing them. I never dreamed it would be so hard or the pain would last this long. Link to post Share on other sites
ralfgarnett Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Aaaaargh somebody stop me, for some reason something is nagging at me to drop her an email asking her for another chance, its nagging at my head and wont go away, I know right now that I would be wasting my time and it would get thrown back in my face and I would feel worse then than I do now its like an itch that wont go away. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 send it to a random, understanding friend, who would answer like she would, only more rudely. Or send me a PM. I'll do it.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Aaaaargh somebody stop me, for some reason something is nagging at me to drop her an email asking her for another chance, its nagging at my head and wont go away, I know right now that I would be wasting my time and it would get thrown back in my face and I would feel worse then than I do now its like an itch that wont go away. Don't do it!!!!! That nagging itch is deceptive. How long have you been nc? Stay strong and the itch will go away. It's like crack cocaine. You need to withdraw completely to heal and feel better. Giving in just a tad will inevitably set you back. Do you really want to go back to day 1 again? Nawwwwww. Don't do it boy! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kill_Bill Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 (edited) Aaaaargh somebody stop me, for some reason something is nagging at me to drop her an email asking her for another chance, its nagging at my head and wont go away, I know right now that I would be wasting my time and it would get thrown back in my face and I would feel worse then than I do now its like an itch that wont go away. stay strong, you will get through it. here's a hug Edited January 7, 2015 by Kill_Bill Link to post Share on other sites
FixItCris Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Dammit I've been NC for 3 weeks now, starting to feel a bit better. Then last night a friend texts me to tell me that my ex has posted a photo of her and her new guy on FB. I have been so good not looking at anything or making any contact, but now i feel like i'm back close to day 1 again! Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Dammit I've been NC for 3 weeks now, starting to feel a bit better. Then last night a friend texts me to tell me that my ex has posted a photo of her and her new guy on FB. I have been so good not looking at anything or making any contact, but now i feel like i'm back close to day 1 again! It's not your fault Cris. It's a shame your friend had to enlighten you to the upsetting news. That's brutal. However, you've come so far. You're doing so well. Don't let this minor setback ruin your progress. 10 steps back, 1 step forward. That's how we roll up in here. The bright side is, you're keeping away from looking at social media of her (I hope). She probably is flaunting it for a reaction from you, but you aren't giving it to her (at least out in the open), which is good. Try to focus on you and stay on track as you have been doing. You are stronger than you realize. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FixItCris Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I have stayed away from social media, that was how I found out the actual truth in the first place. And she will not get a reaction out of me. I told my friend from now on, let's just assume she died I think the part that hurt me most was that she never posted pics of me and her. But anyway, onwards and upwards. Thanks To LS for letting me vent, and get support! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Well Cris.. it's good that you're not seeking her out on social media and made that pact w/your friend. It stinks when you get word about someone you're trying to put out of your mind. Just makes matters way worse. That is really weird that she didn't post pics of you and her but is posting pics w/her new guy. I know you're not supposed to read into these things, but I would bet she's trying to get a rise out of you and make you jealous. Too bad for her, you're movin' onnnn. Yeahh. That's the attitude. I think the longer you go nc, the better off you'll feel. Keep it going. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FixItCris Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I wish I could tell my brain to do NC too. Have random thoughts about her all the time. How she could do what she did. How I could be the worst option. Hoping she'll just turn up in my driveway someday soon. Hope is the hardest thing to let go of. Stupid I know, because the hope is that the person I thought she was comes back. But that person no longer exists, if she ever did at all Link to post Share on other sites
darv Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 My wife left me a month ago today. Together 9 years, married 6 months. In that time I've done really well about nc, until she texts me, which is about every 2 or 3 days. Never with anything pertinent to say, I just think she wants to know I'm still here. And of course, my stupid @ss replies every time. She still has quite a few things in my home and has made no effort to pick any of it up. New years eve she invited me to her folks house, where she's always lived except for the 6 months of our marriage, and I came running. She ended up coming home with me & spending the night, which was wonderful, but left early the next day with no contact for 2 days. When she did contact me, it was to tell me how awkward she felt for staying with me...wth? Link to post Share on other sites
kabukicho Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 i am to weak to break the NC, i just cant handle the pain inside and cant move on Link to post Share on other sites
Mandy26 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I feel like I am going crazy. The last two days I have been obsessing to brake no contact.....I am so down in the dumps. I might be going into a depression, which I haven't felt since BU in September. I was sad but know I think crazy stuff, like going to sleep all the time, isolation, sadness. Part of me thinks I am not normal. Another part of me what's to contact him to see if there is any way of working out. So sad the last two days. Link to post Share on other sites
FixItCris Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Hang in there Mandy, It is a hard road, But it's the best way to healing yourself and letting go. I am going through depression myself, It's not fun, but it's not the end of the world. If you can hold on and get through this rough patch, you'll feel much stronger. If you cave and contact him, you'll definitely be setting yourself back. Just keep posting here, It's kept me sane(ish) so far. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FixItCris Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I broke NC. I had self-enforced it after I found out she had lied to me and actually left me for another guy. I made it 5 weeks. I was starting to feel as though I was healing, didn't think about her too much, hardly ever actually. Then two days ago, I saw her on the motorway. I text her. And we had a polite conversation, both made some apologies and wished each other well. I felt pretty good about it. Next day, not feeling so good about it. Saw her again on the motorway, mild anxiety attack. Today, was on a date down town, and whilst walking my date back to her car, passed the exes car parked at the same place we were at. Managed to get my date back to her car before having a huge panic attack. Moral of the story, for me it's going to have to be NC forever I think. I can't handle being back here again. Not back to square one, but certainly several weeks back in my recovery. Dammit. It's not worth breaking NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Oneness Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I have sucked at NC in the past...my exboyfriend and I broke up many times in over the span of 7 years. Most break ups were intiated by me...he was abusive, and each time we broke up it was horrific, something out of Jerry Springer or a movie about a psychopath...and he is a psychopath, an Axis II, Cluster B, Borderline of the most severe type. He is far away and I have him blocked...been cycling through the 5 stages of grief...I feel lifeless and dead inside. My relationship with him was one of extremes, because most borderlines live that way in order to feel anything at all and I got sucked into his patterns...not knowing he was borderline at the time. I miss the good times, but the price I paid was too high.... Link to post Share on other sites
love1336x Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I stalk your facebook everyday! Why! Why! Why! You never loved me ever! You could never put drugs BEFORE ME! YOUR FRIENDS YOURSELF. PERIOD. Most SELFISH PERSON I EVER MET. YET i love you STILL. I want to be with YOU STILL. UGHHHH. What is wrong with me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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