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Choked

sunnysmiles

By sunnysmiles,
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sunnysmiles

sunnysmiles

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Has anyone been choked by their partner? I was choked by my now ex fiance back in May, and I tried to stay with him and forgive him, but I couldn't so I finally left him a few days ago. Hearing other stories would help.

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SariahCarey

SariahCarey

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My ex choked me a few times. At the time it was happening i didn't think of it as abuse... I thought it was my fault for not just keeping my mouth shut when we argued.

 

I realized it wasn't right when we were out one night drinking, we had a fight and he choked me in public, i was humiliated, and he told me later on that he only choked me because if he hit me it would leave too many bruises. Thats when i realized he was truly abusive and no good for me.

 

Good for you for not forgiving him. I think choking usually leads to something more serious.

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samsungxoxo

samsungxoxo

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Choking can be classified as attempted murder. If you haven't file charges on him, do so now.

Nope, I've never dealt with a violent man but that would be the end that day. I would break up for lessers offenses as well too such as excessive shoutings, calling me a slang term or if he were to dare spit in my face.

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M30USA

M30USA

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My wife grabbed my neck and left claw marks. I had to go to work the following day and lie by saying I cut it while doing yardwork. She didn't get in trouble for that but she got attested recently after clubbing me with a room divider plank.

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turnera

turnera

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It will now help you to educate yourself about abuse so you don't pick another one. We usually follow a pattern in the people we choose. Read Why Does He Do That? Inside The Minds Of Angry And Abusive Men.

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CopingGal

CopingGal

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Has anyone been choked by their partner? I was choked by my now ex fiance back in May, and I tried to stay with him and forgive him, but I couldn't so I finally left him a few days ago. Hearing other stories would help.

 

I just wanted to say good for you. You should be very, very proud of yourself.

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  • 5 weeks later...
swing8861

swing8861

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I use to be choked my my exhusband. He was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive all the time...When he got to choking though...that's when I knew he was seriously going to kill me one day...It's awesome you're out. It takes alot to leave an abusive relationship. Those who've never been in it don't understand the toll it takes on your confidence, sense of independence, and emotions. You feel like you can never leave cause you're not good enough to move on, almost like you deserve it...but bravo! to you for getting out!!!! :D

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Forever Learning

Forever Learning

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The man I was with 16 years choked the woman he was married to before me.

 

He never choked me, I would have ended it, and he knew it, so instead, he emotionally and verbally abused me the entire 16 years, but never laid a finger on me.

 

I was too dumb at the time to understand the verbal and emotional abuse along the way. It was insidious and sublime (but sometimes outright). He was a master at manipulation, and I was a meathead who felt bad and confused all the time.

 

ANYHOW, I had a friend who's husband put his hand around her neck in a choking type insinuation, and she told him to never do that again. He didn't, but he did all sorts of other ridiculous behaviour, that she should have left him. Bottom line, choking is a major red flag and the woman should end it and leave immediately.

 

If they do happen to not choke again, they are still bad news, you can count on that. And you should still leave. It's not worth it, ever. Choking indicates deep dysfunction within a personality and is very dangerous behavior (as is any physical abuse, for that matter).

 

Had I known this way back when (how dysfunctional that behavior is, and what it means about a person), I would have left the guy I was with 16 years (we were married, and had kids, makes it rough as well), when I first learned of him choking his ex-wife prior to me. But he painted the picture that she provoked him (she was bad news as well, it's true) and I was too stupid to understand what I was dealing with.

 

But happy endings all around, he's gone (divorced and moved away), and my life rocks now. :) And I shall never be with another bad news guy again, God willing. I am still a bit of a meathead, but much less so, and getting smarter every day. Cheers love! :)

Edited by Forever Learning
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Anela

Anela

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I was choked by my mother's boyfriend, when I was small. Mum said I was turning blue, and I remember her trying to get his hands off me. Looking back, I wish she'd pressed charges. I don't like the idea that he thought that was acceptable.

 

A few weeks after that, he called my mother, and said something about having something to say that she'd be happy to hear. He told her that he wanted to marry her, but that he couldn't be a father to her children - that was supposed to make her happy. It pissed her off, and she left, but I'm glad: I wouldn't have wanted to be around him again.

 

I know a young woman who was in an abusive relationship, about four years ago. She finally left, got herself therapy, and is now in the healthiest, happiest relationship of her life.

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Forever Learning

Forever Learning

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I know a young woman who was in an abusive relationship, about four years ago. She finally left, got herself therapy, and is now in the healthiest, happiest relationship of her life.

 

 

That is a happy story!

 

And, I am so sorry that you endured such a harsh situation as a child. That is absolutely terrible.

 

God bless you and I'm glad you made it through and continue to grow and keep a positive, optimistic attitude that there are good people and good situations/ relationships to be had in life. All the best Anela! :)

Edited by Forever Learning
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strongnrelaxed

strongnrelaxed

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I was never choked by a partner. But I very badly wanted to hit my ex wife. I did not hit her, but she was verbally and emotionally abusive with me.

 

Once I had my wisdom teeth removed and she picked me up from the dentists office. The whole ride home she nagged and nitpicked and drove me up a wall. I was just sitting there leaning my head against the cool car window. I was still woozy from the anesthesia. I asked her to drop whatever it was and we would talk about it later. She kept digging and digging.

 

Finally I screamed at her and told her to stop the car. I got out and walked the last 1/2 mile home. She did this regularly- especially when I was sick, or sleeping.

 

I think this is relevant here because men who are abusive are absolutely WRONG. AND, I always ask myself when I hear these stories - what would HE say about all of this?

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  • 3 weeks later...
CopingGal

CopingGal

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I was choked by my mother's boyfriend, when I was small. Mum said I was turning blue, and I remember her trying to get his hands off me. Looking back, I wish she'd pressed charges. I don't like the idea that he thought that was acceptable.

 

Sorry that happened to you.

 

I like you. I think you are a nice person.:)

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  • 2 weeks later...
freestyle

freestyle

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Ditto-good for you for leaving. Love should never leave you feeling unsafe.

 

 

When I was 16, or 17, a bf got irrationally upset, because I was 20 minutes late getting to his house. He was sure it must have meant I was cheating on him..:rolleyes:

 

He grabbed me by the throat, and started banging my head against the wall.

Without thinking--I saw the opening, and punched him square in the nose.It startled him enough to make him stop, and I was able to run away. I never went back............

 

For anyone, man or woman, who's ever in that position--if someone's choking you with both hands---you can fight back to free yourself--(both of the attackers hands are occupied) It IS an attack on your life.

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turnera

turnera

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For anyone, man or woman, who's ever in that position--if someone's choking you with both hands---you can fight back to free yourself--(both of the attackers hands are occupied) It IS an attack on your life.

Especially if you can reach his crotch! :)

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Hawaii50

Hawaii50

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Especially if you can reach his crotch! :)

 

There are 10's of pressure points available to any free-hand. Some that hurt, some that are momentarily debilitating. It would behoove of every women to know a few sweet-spots. It's all youtube-able.

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freestyle

freestyle

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Especially if you can reach his crotch! :)

 

 

Yep, a swift knee to the groin, and a finger in the eye can potentially influence an attacker to rethink his/her decision.

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CopingGal

CopingGal

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It looks like the post about the guy and the woman beating each other up during sex and liking it was removed. Thank goodness....unless that is a different thread, but I don't think so.

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