marriagesucks Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 hi all. im back after a long break. i was busy trying to make my marriage last ans suggest possible soultions to my husband that he just wasnt intersted in. but now im here because nothing has worked. we are getting a divorce now. he talked me into signing the settlement agreement letting him be custodial parent w/joint custody while i pay child support. before we signed this agreement he told me that i can see my daughter whenever i wanted to and that she would be with me most of the time. he had me arrested two weeks ago for hitting him (he lied), and in court before i left jail he told the judge that i can see my daughter whenever i wanted to. well 3 weeks have passed since weve been seperated, and i have yet to see my daughter. the aggreement says i get her every other weekend (exhibit a) but my husband refuses to let me have her every time. i took the police to my house and they told me i can go in and out of that house as i please because its still mine. so therfore i have two questions: 1. if i can go in and out of the house as i please why can i go see or go pick up my daughter when i want to? 2. is there anything that can be done about my husband refusing my visitation? by the way, i live in georgia. i already have a lawyer, but only money moves her. the papers were filed on june 18. my next appoinment with my lawyer is july 16. the judge will get the papers july 18 (its a sunday, so i figure he'll get them on july 16 or july 19). i also want to be custodial parent becaue i know i wont put my husband through the pain and suffering hes putting me through. i talked to a few women and they said that after everything is over and done with i should get revenge. i dont have time for that. im 20 years ols and im tired of the drama. i should be living an almost stress-free life. i realize that i am an adult and that my husband isnt even worth the time and effort of trying to get revenge on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriagesucks Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 correction to question 1: if i can go in and out of the house as i please, why CANT go and pick up my daughter or visit my daughter when i want to? 3. how do i get to see my daughter or visit her when my husband refuses to answer my phone calls or he refuses to answer the door when i go to the house? (he changed the locks on the doors) Link to post Share on other sites
toolcutie Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Well I hate to say, but I think you will need to get in touch with your lawyer again. If it is clearly apart of your divorce agreement that you get your daughter every other weekend, and you can see her whenever you want then you need to let the courts know that technically he's violating his end of that agreement. Then you do ahead and push to be the custodial parent on the grounds that as custodial parent he wasn't holding up his end of the agreement and you fear if he maintains custody, you may never see your daughter again. It's similar to as if he just up and took her away....he poses a flight risk....so they take her away from him because he's not trust worthy. Not exactly what's happening but similar. He can't prevent you from seeing her without just cause, which he doesn't have so you need to fight him on this one. If it's important for you to see your daughter whenever you want, you'll have to fight him for it. Good Luck, I know it's not easy but with determination you'll get what you need. Toolcutie Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriagesucks Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 thanks for your advice. i have to add 2 things. he lied to the cops and said i hit him. 2 days later he put a warrant out for my arrest and he called me and told me about it. he also called my mom, who is in new jersey, and told her about it too. what point did he have to prove just to call her and tell her that hes getting me arrested. it isnt in the agreement that i can see my baby girl whenever i want, but he did tell the judge when we went to court in jail that i can see her whenever i wanted to. isnt there something that can be done?? Link to post Share on other sites
toolcutie Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Get it in writing. That's what I did with mine. My ex is the primary residence of our kids, but we have joint custody. I made sure it clearly states that we share equal and generous access to the kids, or we go back to court and fight it out. I would look into amending your agreement. If you want it to be binding, make sure it's in there before you sign anything. You're lawyer should be willing to get on this one for you. Even if he's using this lie about you hitting him, if it's one instance and it didn't involve your daughter it really doesn't hold a lot of water where your access to her is concerned. It seems pretty obvious to me that he wants to be a bitch about this, so even though I know you don't want to and I know it will be hard, if he's looking for a fight a fight is what I'd give him. No one would keep me from seeing my kids. You don't have to sink to his level, but don't let him push you around either. Toolcutie Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriagesucks Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 we alrady signed the agreement a month ago, the judge never seen it or signed it, the police say its not a binding agreement because it doesnt have a judges signature, the judge wont sign it unless we both attend a parenting class, neither certificate has been filed yet. are you male or female? Link to post Share on other sites
toolcutie Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I'm female...25 years old. We had to do the parenting class as well. Nothing will be finalized until the judge signs off on it. But if it's not binding then get the classes done....go back to your lawyer and tell her you want to have the agreement ammended to whatever suits your needs. Then maybe get in touch with any agencies in your area that can help you regarding what you do in the mean time. Call the police if you must, but you have a right to see your baby. Toolcutie Link to post Share on other sites
Author marriagesucks Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 hey thanks lady, not seeing my baby girl is depressing, we need each other, i did see her last friday when i tried to go get her, the police were with me, when i left she cried, and she hadnt seen me since the thursday before that. at least she remembers who i am. i thought she would have forgotten me. shes 14 months old. my ex's mom is staying in the house with him, shes playing the middleman, instegating the situation and adding fuel to the fire, im pretty sure it was her who convinced him to get me locked up. i wish she would mind her business. you thought she would have taught her son how to be a good man instead of an a**h***. and yeah hes a mama's boy. Link to post Share on other sites
toolcutie Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Well I'm sorry I can't do more in the way of helping. But you have my email addy so if you want to talk drop me line. I'd like to know how things are working out. It's a tough situation to be in, but it can be better to cope with if you have people to talk to about it right? You and you're little girl should be together. I have 2 boys and a girl and when we decided that he would take them, I was worried my girl would forget about me too. We split in December and she was 15 months old at the time. But I did everything in my power to see them as often as time would allow. I'm moving to their side of town soon so that we can start alternating weeks with them. I think stability is the most important thing, and if he's any kind of a man, he'll understand that and make it work for her. He'll do what's within her best interest. Take Care Toolcutie Link to post Share on other sites
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