kittenhead Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 hey--someone help me screw my head on straight. my boyfriend gets calls and textmessages from his exfiance when we're hanging out--usually friday and saturday night. i'm not sure if its always her (it has been on occassion and now i just assume it is her because of his following actions. When his cell phone buzzes--he'll look down at his phone. put it back in his pocket. after some time has passed--he'll go upstairs to put the dishes away or go outside to smoke and on a couple of occassions--i've seen him responding in private to these calls at times when he's removed himself from my presence. Its possible i'm drawing conclusions to support an idea--but i don't know what to think and i fell like an idiot bringing it up b/c i think he'll tell me its not true or something else. any toughts? i'm afaid if i ask then i'm putting him in a position where he has to explain something to me that somehow devalues our trust. maybe i should just let him have his privacy and mind my own business. Link to post Share on other sites
hurting so bad Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 How long have you been with him???? do you think he still loves her? how long has it been since they broke up? and who broke up with who? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kittenhead Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 well-- we've been officially together for 7 months. they broke up 1.5 years ago. they are definately close still--they were dating for about 6 years and then it fell apart after they got engage b/c he had to move to finish college. so the break up was mutual. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kittenhead Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 yes- he still loves her--but he's not in love with her. i know they share something very special though. it's just the nature of some mature relationships after they break up. i think it broke both of their hearts to part--but it was something they needed to do. Link to post Share on other sites
jw32802 Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 hmm.. So there was no bitterness when they broke up? did she JUST START calling again? and how do you know it is her ? it could just be curiosity, but i would say something; i would just say "listen i dont mean to be a nag, but i couldnt help but notice blah blah blah> " and then say "I understand if there is unfinished business and i will step back if you want to pursue things with her, ill give you time to sort thigns out". You will look like SUCH A GREAT PERSON for doing this, and it will probably make him want you more, but he could go to her to play things out. Hes going to do what hes going to do regardless, so its better to admit you know somethigns up and get honesty out of him Link to post Share on other sites
Author kittenhead Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 i don't think she just started calling him--but i know they keep in touch regularly -- the other night-- i didn't know if it was her that textmessaged him. i just assummed he thought it was her because he didn't look to see who it was writing the message, but i did see him checking when he went upstairs to look not knowing i was close by and i also notice that there was a new text message on his phone at 8 AM in the morning the next day. she also called one night at 11 PM when I was there and he didn't answer and let it go to voicemail. he said "that's odd--Rachel is calling." I then went to the bathroom and i came out looking for him--but he was outside--and i saw him listening to his message then. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 I would do those things that i said then and he will probably respect you for it. thats hard. Link to post Share on other sites
hurting so bad Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 I would do those things i said then, he will probably have more respect fory ou. You dont think hes in love with her still? why would they still talk? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kittenhead Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 yeah-- i guess i should take the high road on this. i don't think he's still in love with her but i fell like there is a deeper kind of love then what i experience with him. they still talk because of their past. they went through some pretty hard stuff together--very substantial pain that happenned when they were too young to marry--and we don't have that intense a bond. i wish we did though-- Link to post Share on other sites
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