Dumpers regret

[Fmrbrknhrt22]

Ok guys i sent the final email, this is it, NC from here on out, can i get some thoughts here on the email, any feedback would be great. I will let you guys know if i get a response, but I am not holding my breath, i just wanted to get this weight off my shoulders. Thanks LS friends

 

Hey XXXXXX,

 

Hope you’re doing well, look I know it was wrong of me to text you on Sunday, it was too soon

 

I promise ill leave you alone and give you all the space you need, so we can both get on with our lives

 

I just want you to know I am real glad you found somebody that makes you happy, I honestly mean that, he must be an amazing dude, I am happy for you

 

But if you ever need me, for anything at all, I will be here for you, no matter what, you can call, email, text or whatever, you know where to find me

 

Don’t take it personally, but I blocked you on Facebook, only for the time being, it just makes things a little easier

 

Until then, good luck, thank you for everything

 

We'll always have (our song)

 

Hey man,

 

It's clear you care about her, but I'll be honest in that you didn't need to send any of this to her, especially the little thing at the end about how you will always share your fav song together, it sounds sappy and that you are still clinging onto a memory between you two that is long gone.

 

The smart thing to do would've been just to write it out and throw it away because at the end of the day this is a way for you to come to terms with what's happened and start to move on. Sending her that is really not going to change her opinion of you one way or the other. If she wants to get back with you, she'll find a way to get ahold of you.

 

Some of the girls on here think it's cowardly that you "ran away" and didn't give things a fair chance. But it sounds like to me that you just really werent that into her. Because as I said earlier, if you were really into her, you would've tried everything in your power to make it work right? She wanted you back and you still said no, which just gives me even more confirmation that this is true. Just be honest with yourself and like I said earlier, take time for yourself to be introspective and find out why you ended things and think about the person it is that you are really looking for in the future.

[Zammo25]

Ok guys i sent the final email, this is it, NC from here on out, can i get some thoughts here on the email, any feedback would be great. I will let you guys know if i get a response, but I am not holding my breath, i just wanted to get this weight off my shoulders. Thanks LS friends

 

Hey XXXXXX,

 

Hope you’re doing well, look I know it was wrong of me to text you on Sunday, it was too soon

 

I promise ill leave you alone and give you all the space you need, so we can both get on with our lives

 

I just want you to know I am real glad you found somebody that makes you happy, I honestly mean that, he must be an amazing dude, I am happy for you

 

But if you ever need me, for anything at all, I will be here for you, no matter what, you can call, email, text or whatever, you know where to find me

 

Don’t take it personally, but I blocked you on Facebook, only for the time being, it just makes things a little easier

 

Until then, good luck, thank you for everything

 

We'll always have (our song)

 

I think this is fine. I disagree with the poster above. Too much BS on here about keeping face and all that but you said what you needed to say and wanted to say. I am in the same position having lost someone I love and she is with a new guy now. I sent a final e mail a few weeks back in a similar vein. I do not regret it for a second and as I realise she is gone now. She did not reply, I did not expect a reply and never expect to hear from her again.

[winstonsdreams]

Fmrbrknhrt22 & Zammo25, thank you for the honest replies guys it really helps! Fmrbrknhrt22 yes you are right the song part was a little sappy, but that song meant the world to us, it was real special trust me. It's done now, to be honest i don't expect to hear from her again. I just had to get this weight off my shoulders and let her know i care and i am here. If i was the dumpee i assure you i wouldn't have said ***t.

 

I honestly do want her to be happy and i want to move on. I will never try contact her again, i feel free. Zammo25 i am with you i said what i had to say, i don't expect a reply. It was a hard thing to do. But it is done. NC starts properly today! I really hope i can move on now and be happy again.

[BooBoo1982]

Winston, what were your reasons for ending thr relationship in the first place?

[winstonsdreams]

The main reason was a lack of communication on my part. I wanted the same things as my ex but i wanted to take it slower. I met her son after only 1 week, and was expected to be a father figure just like that, guys that is a huge deal. I love kids but this was a big responsibility. She always complained that he missed me and i wasn't spending enough time with him and it made me feel like ***t.

 

On top of that we lived pretty far apart, and her way of resolving THAT was to move in together, this was first suggested at the 3 month mark. I wanted to live together too, but not so soon!

 

It never occurred to me we could talk it out and take it slower. I felt all this pressure and walked out, convinced i couldn't make her happy, and i have regretted it since. I lost her, her boy who loved me, and my hopes of marriage and starting a family. Damn if i just learnt to communicate and talk things over this could have been fixed.

 

Now she is dating some guy that is over there every night, lives close by, and basically giving her exactly what she wants, on her terms, or so i figure. She was calling me on my birthdat still upset, wanting to work it out, 2 wks later she was out on dates with this dude. I was good to her but i was no pushover. Man talking about all this again sucks.

[BooBoo1982]

She will feel happy in her new relationship for now because it is new and exciting and it's helping her to forget about you, but if what you had was really special then she will start thinking about it again as soon as the new relationship relaxes a little and she has time to reflect. Just concentrate on you for now and who knows what will happen in the future.

[winstonsdreams]

We had something very special trust me, she loved me to bits, but is ignoring every contact from me now. I pleaded and did all that jazz a month ago and she simply said, i have moved on and you have to do the same.

 

I don't want to give up, but i am afraid the ball is in her court right now, i sent the email today wishing her well, got no reply of course, and now feel i must do what is best for my own sanity. She has been with this guy 6 weeks. Hell they might get married, i wish we could work it out but i don't think she took the whole being deleted of Facebook thing that well. But i just couldn't handle it. We had so many amazing memories, but i am not going to get all sentimental on LS haha. I will leave it now, and hope maybe one day she realizes what the hell we had. I owe it to her to let her find out if this is the man she wants to spend her life with, or me.

[Zammo25]

I don't agree with the deleting of people as a facebook friend. It seems very mean and petty minded to me. My ex is still a FB friend and would always be unless she deletes me. I am FB friends with all of my 3 ex's in the last 10 years. We do not talk but why would I delete them and the good memories and times we had. As I said , I think it is petty and says " you mean't nothing to me bitch "

[Zammo25]

We had something very special trust me, she loved me to bits, but is ignoring every contact from me now. I pleaded and did all that jazz a month ago and she simply said, i have moved on and you have to do the same.

 

I don't want to give up, but i am afraid the ball is in her court right now, i sent the email today wishing her well, got no reply of course, and now feel i must do what is best for my own sanity. She has been with this guy 6 weeks. Hell they might get married, i wish we could work it out but i don't think she took the whole being deleted of Facebook thing that well. But i just couldn't handle it. We had so many amazing memories, but i am not going to get all sentimental on LS haha. I will leave it now, and hope maybe one day she realizes what the hell we had. I owe it to her to let her find out if this is the man she wants to spend her life with, or me.

 

She is gone now she is with a new bloke having sex etc. It is OVER.

[winstonsdreams]

Yeah well while its still fresh, that's the way it is, i am doing what is best for me right now dude. She deleted me off Facebook when we first broke up, so this is how i am dealing with it. She probably doesn't give a ***t, if she does well she just needs get on the phone and call. I couldn't handle seeing her photos on my page, or liking statuses or what not.

 

I saved all the photos into a folder that i will keep forever. Maybe one day i won't mind. But while i am in this mindset i think it is worth my sanity. I explained this to her in the email today. She knows i still love her, that's all that matters right now.

[winstonsdreams]

She is gone now she is with a new bloke having sex etc. It is OVER.

 

Exactly, hence my point and time to move on!

[BooBoo1982]

She is gone now she is with a new bloke having sex etc. It is OVER.

 

I don't think you need to be quite so blunt about it, he is hurting and dealing with things the best way he can.

[Zammo25]

I don't think you need to be quite so blunt about it, he is hurting and dealing with things the best way he can.

 

As we all are but sometimes we need a reality check. I am in the exactly same position as him as well.

[winstonsdreams]

I don't think you need to be quite so blunt about it, he is hurting and dealing with things the best way he can.

 

Thanks Boo, you have been real nice about this all, i won't get my hopes up, but i have definitely learned a lot from this experience. I think Zammo25 is trying to give me the reality check i need. Aren't relationships fun guys?! haha!

 

I will get there one day, I am a bit worried about her taking the Facebook blocking thing the wrong way, i noticed one of her friends blocked me today! Oh well i honestly can't expend anymore mental energy on this!

 

I'll keep you posted LS friends!

[shayla]

From your posts, it seems like you are blaming her for ignoring you and moving on with her life. You left her! You rejected her when she tried to work it out with you!

 

It is not fair that you dumped her, and now are guilt tripping her by email because she moved on.

[BooBoo1982]

As difficult as it is just try to move forward with your life now, be the person you want to be, be the person she fell in love with. You have left the door open so if she decides she wants you back I don't think she will be afraid to tell you so but let go for now and keep moving forward. Who knows in a few months time you might feel you are better off without her, you might meet a new girl who completely blows you away. We dont know what is out there waiting for us. Keep us posted in your progress.

[winstonsdreams]

shayla i am not blaming her for anything, she has every right to move on and ignore me if she feels the need to. Check the thread i am well aware of the mistake i have made and I am paying for it dearly trust me!

 

I do not want to guilt trip her, i just wanted to let her know I have no hard feelings and that i am glad she has found someone that makes her happy. I don't want to have any grudges and i am sorry for what i did. I am really suffering over this guys, i couldn't handle not blocking her on Facebook, i explained that.

 

For my emotional well being i had to take measures to ensure i can continue with my life. It may seem drastic but that is how i have had to handle the situtation. Hopefully i get over this soon, because i feel absolutely horrible.

[winstonsdreams]

God i am having a ***t day, i feel so hopeless, i kind of wish i didn't that email yesterday, of course i am over analyzing everything. I just hate this, i really need to get over it!!!!!! Help people!! I am living with so many regrets right now, I just want to be happy again!

[winstonsdreams]

She replied guys. Tell me what you think, nothing to get excited about.

 

So she said she felt bad for how things have ended and how she has had to do the right thing by her and her son. She said it just so happens she met someone right after it all went down, but she can't understand why she was blocked off Facebook.

 

She said it's a shame things ended up this way, we definitely had something, but we just wanted totally different things. she said she won't be out for a while and we may or may not run into each other.

 

I haven't replied. I don't know what to say. Can you guys give some help?

[Fmrbrknhrt22]

Yes, don't reply. There's nothing left to say winstonsdreams. Go NC and keep it that way. You could be exerting your energy on something positive like a new hobby, being out with your friends, being active. All these dumb little message games between you and an ex make you over think things when there is nothing left to say. Nothing you do or say will change the state of things. Simply learn to live life on your own for a bit and you will start to learn a lot about yourself and realize there is a whole world out there to explore. Don't let an ex who has moved on and found somebody else get in the way of that.

[winstonsdreams]

Fmrbrknhrt22 thank you. Yes i have consulted a few friends, shown them the emails and they have all said the same. It is time to leave it and go NC. There is nothing i can do to fix this situation, writing the email was probably a stupid idea, because all i have done is overanalyzed the response to ridiculous levels. Responding would most likely push me over the edge, her birthday is next week and i won't be contacting her.

 

Putting my energy into this girl is only harming my future. I tried to win her back and have failed. A harsh lesson for the future. This has been a horrible experience, but i have plenty of cool things in my life to keep me busy.