Isabella82 Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Do you think it's rude to get married on a holiday? I realize that I shouldn't really care and do what I want, but its just bothering me, because I try to be considerate of others. I know for our really good friends, this idea is great, because everyone that they would be spending time with that night will be there as well. But for coworkers, and friends that are not close friends do you consider it rude? Here is what I did to try to make the day fun for everyone: - there will be a photobooth - a game room for kids (they are welcome to attend) has a pool table, ping pong table, shuffle board, huge plasma TV that we will hook up karoke and XBOX - balloon drop at midnight - open bar all night - appetizers and dinner - Everyone we invited are more than welcome to bring a plus one (husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend) So considering all that we've put into it to try to take everyone giving up their holiday for us do you think its rude, and would you ever want to attend a New Year's Eve wedding? Would just like to add that I myself see this as just being a huge New Year's Eve party where we happen to just get married (short and to the point ceremony) I have never been all about weddings, so thats fine by me. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 No, it wouldn't be rude whatsoever. Whatever day you and your hunny choose to get married should be a special day for you. I would definitely go to a NYE wedding as I'm otherwise not doing anything else. I think it would be a good change of pace, personally. We had relatives who acted like it was rude for us to get married in the middle of the week and even tried asking us to change the date. I think THAT was rude. I think it's rude to expect all of your relatives to be there if you decide to have your wedding on a major holiday and you should expect not everyone may be able to attend, same goes for a destination wedding. But it's up to you what day you want to marry and if the date is more significant to you than making sure everyone can attend. It's your wedding, make it memorable! I was planning to marry on my anniversary date, but wanted to make sure everyone could come, so we moved it up to the weekend, a few days later. Not a big deal, but we probably should have just gone with what we wanted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 Thanks for your reply. I agree with you 100%. I think its also rude for people to make such rude comments. I have had a few people say...."New Year's, thats weird." Well, its not weird to us considering that the reason why we picked NYE is because its OUR ANNIVERSARY! Like you, I've had plenty of NYE where we have nothing to do, so I figured it would work, its not usually a holiday where people have something planned. And if they do, I would completely understand. There is also a free shuttle that will transport guests for free to a nearby hotel, where guests of the wedding get a great deal on rooms. So thats another plus. Sounds like a great idea to me, they get free dinner, free entertainment (DJ), free alcohol. Seems like a fun party to me! Better than anything I've ever done on New Year's. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 It's a wonderful idea and something I always thought was cool, but never known anyone who'd done it. As long as you're prepared for a few more 'declines' than usual, and take it in good spirit, I say Go For It!! It'll be an awesome party Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Aaaaaand - they're not likely to forget your anniversary.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 That makes sense! Don't change your date because a few people have a problem with it. When it comes down to it, the day is most important for you and your husband-to-be and you want to have great lasting memories, not regrets. Our wedding was actually the day before mother's day and we had a destination wedding. Most people were able to make the wedding, with the exception of my aunt who decided last minute to make excuses about it being close to mothers day and whatnot. Your wedding happens once, mother's day is every year, same with NYE. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 Thanks for all your replies. It is making me feel better. I guess I just feel like because our wedding is on NYE, there is a lot more pressure in making sure its fun. I've been to a lot of weddings that were boring, and thats exactly what I don't want, given that its a holiday. I just have a fear that it will be a complete bust, and considering all the money we are putting into it I am just hoping people show up! We already sent out our save the dates, so that people know in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 That makes sense! Don't change your date because a few people have a problem with it. When it comes down to it, the day is most important for you and your husband-to-be and you want to have great lasting memories, not regrets. Our wedding was actually the day before mother's day and we had a destination wedding. Most people were able to make the wedding, with the exception of my aunt who decided last minute to make excuses about it being close to mothers day and whatnot. Your wedding happens once, mother's day is every year, same with NYE. Thats what I told my fiance. I told him, well yeah its a NYE, but we are only asking for people to celebrate with us this ONE YEAR. Plus, I know a lot of these people are usually in bed when the ball drops, this year, they will have something fun to do. Bottom line is I feel like if they care enough, they will be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Your OP and follow-up posts are a little self-serving and appear to seek validation for your decision. I can't validate it. I think it's a little strange, particularly given that your wedding will be on a Monday night. But hey, it's your wedding, do whatever you want to do. But please don't get upset if people choose not to go or cancel last minute. Given the holiday you chose, I would almost expect fewer RSVPs and more flakes than usual. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 Your OP and follow-up posts are a little self-serving and appear to seek validation for your decision. I can't validate it. I think it's a little strange, particularly given that your wedding will be on a Monday night. But hey, it's your wedding, do whatever you want to do. But please don't get upset if people choose not to go or cancel last minute. Given the holiday you chose, I would almost expect fewer RSVPs and more flakes than usual. Right... I have already made the decision, everything is already booked, so I guess I am asking for some validation for my decision thats already set. I will like to add that I work for the feds, and my fiance works for the state, so MOST of my invites are people that have the next day off of work. (New Year's Day) so the fact that it lands on a Monday, shouldn't really be an issue for us and most of our invites. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I disagree, actually - A friend of mine in Italy got married on Christmas day - yes, Christmas day! - and the reception afterwards was mind-blowingly over-subscribed - but it was great, because a lot of people bought their own Christmas lunches - and everyone got to open presents! It was a fabulous occasion, and everyone thought it was a great idea... but everyone has a different PoV, I guess. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 I disagree, actually - A friend of mine in Italy got married on Christmas day - yes, Christmas day! - and the reception afterwards was mind-blowingly over-subscribed - but it was great, because a lot of people bought their own Christmas lunches - and everyone got to open presents! It was a fabulous occasion, and everyone thought it was a great idea... but everyone has a different PoV, I guess. Now see, that would be something I would never do personally, since people spend Christmas with their families. (Even though I personally don't, my family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve) I am glad to hear that it worked out so nicely for them! That is awesome. I would definitely attend and enjoy a Christmas wedding! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Yeah... well, this WAS Italy, and as it was a village event, and a lot of people at the wedding were related, (you know how big Italian families are - ?!) there was a whole bunch of relatives, in-laws, cousins and the whole shebang - but many villagers also attended.... (Bear in mind though, that the christening was in the following September..... and she had the gall to wear white, too...!! ) Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I don't see anything wrong with marrying on a holiday. Even on Christmas - so long as it's not a morning/questionably even an early afternoon wedding. But in any case, most people can be flexible enough to just celebrate it the day before or the day after on their own. When it comes to weddings, I've realized that people just like to be the center of attention and try to force their way on the bride and groom as much as possible. My future SIL was throwing a fit because our wedding's months after she has her first baby. I guess she expected we would just wait until she's done having her entire litter, and at least until they're all toddlers, before we'd get married. Sorry! There's always going to be something going on. Like others said, as long as you don't get upset that some people can't make it, no problem! Those who aren't that close to you, if they have other plans, will likely just send a card and a gift and well-wishes without attending. Close family, though, would love to be at a wedding like that. Getting married is the time to set boundaries. My SIL may have pouted and acted like a jerk to me, but at the end of the day, she didn't get her way. I could see if I insisted we'd be having the wedding within 6 weeks of her kid's delivery, but come on. If we had the wedding before she gives birth, she'd also be complaining, "I can't believe they had the wedding when I was 6 months pregnant!" You can't please some folks. You just have to roll with the punches. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 I don't see anything wrong with marrying on a holiday. Even on Christmas - so long as it's not a morning/questionably even an early afternoon wedding. But in any case, most people can be flexible enough to just celebrate it the day before or the day after on their own. When it comes to weddings, I've realized that people just like to be the center of attention and try to force their way on the bride and groom as much as possible. My future SIL was throwing a fit because our wedding's months after she has her first baby. I guess she expected we would just wait until she's done having her entire litter, and at least until they're all toddlers, before we'd get married. Sorry! There's always going to be something going on. Like others said, as long as you don't get upset that some people can't make it, no problem! Those who aren't that close to you, if they have other plans, will likely just send a card and a gift and well-wishes without attending. Close family, though, would love to be at a wedding like that. Getting married is the time to set boundaries. My SIL may have pouted and acted like a jerk to me, but at the end of the day, she didn't get her way. I could see if I insisted we'd be having the wedding within 6 weeks of her kid's delivery, but come on. If we had the wedding before she gives birth, she'd also be complaining, "I can't believe they had the wedding when I was 6 months pregnant!" You can't please some folks. You just have to roll with the punches. Yeah...thats ridiculous! A few months after she has her baby is definitely enough time! Just can't believe that. We are however planning on celebrating past midnight to ring in the new year complete with a balloon drop, but if people plan to leave right after dinner, thats fine by me. I am actually expecting that, as with any wedding, there are some guests that leave early. Anyway, thanks for your input. I am hoping for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Hat-Trick Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I don't see the problem...if they have another party they'd rather attend they can go to that. Otherwise, NYE is the perfect time to have a wedding. I don't know how old you are but I'm over 30 and I've done everything there is to do on NYE around here so if I would be glad to get dressed up and attend a wedding reception like yours on NYE. Otherwise, I'd just stay home. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 I don't see the problem...if they have another party they'd rather attend they can go to that. Otherwise, NYE is the perfect time to have a wedding. I don't know how old you are but I'm over 30 and I've done everything there is to do on NYE around here so if I would be glad to get dressed up and attend a wedding reception like yours on NYE. Otherwise, I'd just stay home. Yes, this was exactly my thought as well. I am actually turning 30 this December and my fiance is 33, so we have had plenty of NYE where we go out drinking downtown, house parties, rented hotels with friends, etc... and we have also have had NYE without any plans where we are sitting on the couch trying to keep our eyes open for 12! So I figured people would love to actually have something fun and different to do. If they have other plans, thats understandable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I think it is a great idea!!! I have seen some beautiful NYE wedding pictures. It is different, it can be so much fun, and it is memorable. Great idea!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I went to a NYE wedding once. It was one of the best weddings I've attended. It was also an evening wedding. It was really fun fortunately, so I wasn't sitting there missing other festivities Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 rude? Honey, you've got it well-thought out, and it sounds like it's gonna be fun. And the best part, IMO? a game room for kids (they are welcome to attend) has a pool table, ping pong table, shuffle board, huge plasma TV that we will hook up karoke and XBOX even if someone squawks about the unusual date, the folks with kids are gonna LOVE y'all for giving them a way to be there without worrying about their children. you, my dear, are one smart cookie! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 I went to a NYE wedding once. It was one of the best weddings I've attended. It was also an evening wedding. It was really fun fortunately, so I wasn't sitting there missing other festivities Good to hear! Did they do anything special for the countdown? I am just looking for some ideas! Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Sounds like fun wedding! It may not work for some people, but then every wedding has some aspect that doesn't work for someone. If it works for you & your fiance, that's the important part. From what you have planned, I'd think a lot of people would enjoy it, whether they usually go out or stay in for NYE. And the room for the kids is genius! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I wouldn't care for it... New Years Eve is special, quality time with my guy that we mark the passing between ourselves of what has transpired throughout the year and what we are planning for next year. I'd probably decline an invitation to someone's wedding as that would intrude on a special day/night of my own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isabella82 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Share Posted August 1, 2012 I wouldn't care for it... New Years Eve is special, quality time with my guy that we mark the passing between ourselves of what has transpired throughout the year and what we are planning for next year. I'd probably decline an invitation to someone's wedding as that would intrude on a special day/night of my own. Interesting point. Let me ask if you don't mind does that mean that you would also turn down any NYE party as well? Because honestly thats what I am going for here. I say this with respect but I don't see how spending time at a wedding would interfere with "quality" time. There will be a DJ playing slow songs where you two can slow dance, dinner, free alcohol. I mean its not like you are spending the day apart from eachother. I just don't see how that differs from spending time with friends and your boyfriend. So you are saying that on NYE, EVERY NYE that is, is spent with only your boyfriend/husband and yourself? I find that very interesting if thats the case. Given its even our anniversary we still spend that day with friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Interesting point. Let me ask if you don't mind does that mean that you would also turn down any NYE party as well? Because honestly thats what I am going for here. I say this with respect but I don't see how spending time at a wedding would interfere with "quality" time. There will be a DJ playing slow songs where you two can slow dance, dinner, free alcohol. I mean its not like you are spending the day apart from eachother. I just don't see how that differs from spending time with friends and your boyfriend. So you are saying that on NYE, EVERY NYE that is, is spent with only your boyfriend/husband and yourself? I find that very interesting if thats the case. Given its even our anniversary we still spend that day with friends. You sound offended. Or perhaps not offended but in disbelief that someone might prefer to do their own thing than attend YOUR party. It might get messy if you react the same way IRL, you said it would be fine if people weren't up for it PS: it was a standing joke in my family for years that my aunt and uncle never went ANYWHERE on ANY NYE because their tradition was to see in the new year 'with a bang', literally Link to post Share on other sites
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