brahmabull117 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 There is a blonde gorgeous hairdresser at my buddy's salon (he owns it, his sister runs it) who is dating a below average looking nerd with just an awful haircut Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 From my experience with women and what I've observed this is my take on it: The ones more in touch with reality and are low-maintenance who just want a genuine nice guy and not a douche are less likely to be picky. I'm not saying that they settle. But these types tend to want someone to take care of them emotionally (if not financially, but a plus if the guy does). The picky ones tend to have more insecurities and higher expectations when it comes to men and relationships. Also even more troublesome if the girl is too independent, then they will be less likely to need or want a man in their life...then if that is the case then perhaps they just deserve to be single imo. Exact opposite...usually people who are not picky are the insecure ones. I do agree that women who are very emotional are more likely to settle though because well, they are miserable with their own company. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Exact opposite...usually people who are not picky are the insecure ones. I do agree that women who are very emotional are more likely to settle though because well, they are miserable with their own company. Some of the pickiest people I know IRL are the ones with the least experiences in dating, and also tend to have the most insecurities. IDK, maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong crowd. But there are exceptions, this is probably a mixed bag. I have high standards too but I'm not insecure with myself. I think it's perfectly fine with the more emotional women. They just want an understanding guy to lean on when times are tough. I like a woman who's more in touch with her feminine soft side than the cold type with a wall up. Link to post Share on other sites
Leopard Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Are you kidding? More women settle than men. And men are the reason women are so objectified and have low self esteem if they don't look like supermodels. So don't tell me that women are the only ones who want perfection. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Some of the pickiest people I know IRL are the ones with the least experiences in dating, and also tend to have the most insecurities. IDK, maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong crowd. I think it's perfectly fine with the more emotional women. They just want an understanding guy to lean on when times are tough. I like a woman who's more in touch with her feminine soft side than the cold type with a wall up. Have you ever been in a relationship with a very emotional women? None of the men I know who have really enjoyed it. All women are emotional, some have control over their emotions and some operate solely on emotions. The second type is a pain to deal with and is usually the type that needs to always be in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Are you kidding? More women settle than men. And men are the reason women are so objectified and have low self esteem if they don't look like supermodels. So don't tell me that women are the only ones who want perfection. This. Most of my female friends have settled and they freely admit to this (when having private chats with me). I think that in general women have stronger desire to get married/have kids so they are more likely to settle when they reach a certain age. Link to post Share on other sites
Dismantled Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Are you kidding? More women settle than men. And men are the reason women are so objectified and have low self esteem if they don't look like supermodels. So don't tell me that women are the only ones who want perfection. Men are the reason women have self-esteem? Why don't you go two threads down to see all the women complaining that men hit on them too much . Yes, the women in the media aren't fat, is that what woman get so angry about? Yet if you were to do a pinch test of the average actresses body-fat levels and whatever the Hollywood/TV male-object flavor of the week is, you'll find that both have a similar BF %. Most men probably spank it to some Giselle Bundschen then forget she ever existed and date real women, at worst. Women actually fall in love with Hugh Jackman and make him the standard for the men they date. You should be glad that not being fat is the only physical criteria for whether you will have male company or not. And "not fat" is very liberally defined in America in regards to women, I think the US definition of not fat is someone that can fit in a bathtub. Link to post Share on other sites
Dismantled Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 This. Most of my female friends have settled and they freely admit to this (when having private chats with me). I think that in general women have stronger desire to get married/have kids so they are more likely to settle when they reach a certain age. Age is important. Women "settle" in their 30's , but that isn't because of the goodness of their hearts. They do it because it's time to date serious men who will make good fathers or husbands, or atleast someone women can bully/manipulate for money. Link to post Share on other sites
Leopard Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I think the US definition of not fat is someone that can fit in a bathtub. Eww. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 This. Most of my female friends have settled and they freely admit to this (when having private chats with me). I think that in general women have stronger desire to get married/have kids so they are more likely to settle when they reach a certain age. Isn't sad? I honestly don't know many men who admit to settling. Men often don't need to settle because there are so many attractive women who want a relationship. The opposite isn't true. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Are you kidding? More women settle than men. Do you have any examples of women that settled? And men are the reason women are so objectified and have low self esteem if they don't look like supermodels. So don't tell me that women are the only ones who want perfection. No, women and gay men are the reason women are objectified by the media and fashion industry. Do you really think straight guys are the ones talking about how X celebrity looks or are designing clothes? Link to post Share on other sites
proseandpassion Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 There is so much female hate on this board and it seriously bums me out. I know where you dudes are coming from, a lot of my female friends can sometimes seem like divas and won't give a guy the time of day unless he's 'hot'... But believe me, there are women out there who aren't like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brahmabull117 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 You guys need to listen to mesmerized. She's right on point with almost everything she says on this forum Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 You guys need to listen to mesmerized. She's right on point with almost everything she says on this forum I'm sure I'm wrong once in a while but thank you Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I'm sure I'm wrong once in a while but thank you He just wants to tap it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Define settling. Since nobody in this world is perfect if settling is dating a less than perfect person then everybody is doing it. I don't see accepting the fact that fantasies are not real and working from that reality as settling. Am I settling if I accept the fact that I will never fly like Superman? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 He just wants to tap it I don't blame him, I'd tap me too jk, he doesn't even know how I look like so probably not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I don't blame him, I'd tap me too jk, he doesn't even know how I look like so probably not. But I do I wouldnt tap though. Tapping is much too light:lmao: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThingsAreComplicated Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 why do most threads about fundamental questions start with "status", "looks", and "league"? Why do I rarely see "feeling" or "emotion"? There must be something wrong with me after all 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 It's called female hypergamy. That is what the OP describes. This is the nature of women unfortunately. Women generally date "up", only accepting the advances of guys who are above their league. So a female 6 will not date a male 6. She thinks she deserves a male 8. And that's what happens most times. Women are selfish and over-value themselves, we all know it Oh, lord have mercy. Not more of this. Where did this new crop of you fellers come from this time? Maybe some day you will actually speak to a real live woman. Just imagine - you might learn something that's actually true about one of us. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 This. Most of my female friends have settled and they freely admit to this (when having private chats with me). I think that in general women have stronger desire to get married/have kids so they are more likely to settle when they reach a certain age. I agree, but as you and another woman alluded to, its when they get older. I get the feeling the OP might be in his early 20s where options abound for many young women. Even so I don't think women stand out in this regard to not settling. Many women would I suspect consider men are worse because the desirable guys they want are evasive when it comes to settling down. With my friends it to me seemed more guys settled in their 20s and more women settled in their 30s. . imo women's requirements in a partner 20s-30s change more than a guy's, and so it can be hard to tell. (settling is a state of mind) Also through experience their list of what they want & wont put up with in a bf is longer for many, so there is more things an older man will disappoint on compared to the happy go lucky teens-mid 20s. I overheard a conversation with my mother's friends one day where a number admited they settled. It was a bit grim. ES, your friends who admit this to you, have you seen them togther with their husbands/bfs, and if so do they look happy & affectionate...would you know they settled just from observing even if they did not confess? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I don't blame him, I'd tap me too jk, he doesn't even know how I look like so probably not. I highly doubt that you are untappable. So I don't think he'd be disappointed. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I think the fact that you consider settling to be based on looks only, to be a highly immature outlook. As I have stated before, more women settle on a man based on everything OTHER than his looks. Maybe MEN settle on looks, but I have never once thought that I was settling because I thought I could get someone that LOOKED better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I agree, but as you and another woman alluded to, its when they get older. I get the feeling the OP might be in his early 20s where options abound for many young women. Even so I don't think women stand out in this regard to not settling. Many women would I suspect consider men are worse because the desirable guys they want are evasive when it comes to settling down. With my friends it to me seemed more guys settled in their 20s and more women settled in their 30s. . imo women's requirements in a partner 20s-30s change more than a guy's, and so it can be hard to tell. (settling is a state of mind) Also through experience their list of what they want & wont put up with in a bf is longer for many, so there is more things an older man will disappoint on compared to the happy go lucky teens-mid 20s. I overheard a conversation with my mother's friends one day where a number admited they settled. It was a bit grim. ES, your friends who admit this to you, have you seen them togther with their husbands/bfs, and if so do they look happy & affectionate...would you know they settled just from observing even if they did not confess? I had lunch with my friend yesterday who just had a daughter and she freely told me how she "settled". She was talking about how she was in love with her ex for years, who didn't want to commit. So she met her current H and she wasn't that attracted to him. I assumed that attraction grew in time but she just laughed "Oh no, I am definitely not in love with him and never have been." I dunno she seems happy enough and she is certainly faithful. She is very honest about her life and she says she never even looks at other men, that she is too busy working and being a mother. When I saw them together, the only thing that was obvious is that she is lot more physically attractive than him. Other than that, they seemed content and affectionate. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I had lunch with my friend yesterday who just had a daughter and she freely told me how she "settled". She was talking about how she was in love with her ex for years, who didn't want to commit. So she met her current H and she wasn't that attracted to him. I assumed that attraction grew in time but she just laughed "Oh no, I am definitely not in love with him and never have been." I dunno she seems happy enough and she is certainly faithful. She is very honest about her life and she says she never even looks at other men, that she is too busy working and being a mother. When I saw them together, the only thing that was obvious is that she is lot more physically attractive than him. Other than that, they seemed content and affectionate. Well this story sure doesn't scare me... Link to post Share on other sites
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