about kissing

[Holly]

Ok, this isn't a huge problem, but probably something others have experienced, and I need some help. I have been with my boyfriend for a month and really really like him, this is the best thing I've ever had. The only problem is when we are kissing, I feel like he's just slobbering all over me which does not make the kiss too enjoyable. How can I tell him to tone this down a little? I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything, but I don't think I can deal with it for much longer. What would be a nice way to go about mentioning this to him? Thanks.

[Tony T]

When a person is nervous, they usually secrete larger quantities of saliva. Perhaps his initial kisses with you made him nervous about impressing you.

 

However, you must address the issue if it is continuing. Tell him you like dry kisses. Make your exchange light hearted but tell him both of you must take a good swallow before kissing. If he doesn't get the message, then go a step further by telling him you will only kiss him if they are more dry. He should appreciate this. It's a lot better for you to tell him this and let him work a bit on it than to leave him over your dislike of his slobber.

 

He could have some sort of medical problem and, if so, he will tell you. Further, if he still can't control the secretions of saliva, a doctor may be able to help him. If you really like this guy, do all you can to make it work.

 

If that doesn't work, nothing short of sucking on a sponge may do. I know exactly what you're talking about. I dated a girl like that one time and I really didn't like it. I never said anything, though, I just stopped seeing her.

[Deejette]

Sexual compatibility plays a very big role in a romantic relationship. Communicating your likes and dislikes is a good thing in this area. When I was in my teens, it seemed like most of the guys who tried to kiss me were slobbering on me and I found the whole thing distasteful. Back then I wasn't as careful about guys' feelings as I am now, so I would just come out and say I couldn't stand it.

 

But now that I am more mature, I have learned how to speak up in a kind way. First you tell him how dearly you love him. Then you tell him that you like drier kisses: That dry kisses really turn you on. That will help him feel he is meeting your needs without hurting his feelings.

When a person is nervous, they usually secrete larger quantities of saliva. Perhaps his initial kisses with you made him nervous about impressing you. However, you must address the issue if it is continuing. Tell him you like dry kisses. Make your exchange light hearted but tell him both of you must take a good swallow before kissing. If he doesn't get the message, then go a step further by telling him you will only kiss him if they are more dry. He should appreciate this. It's a lot better for you to tell him this and let him work a bit on it than to leave him over your dislike of his slobber. He could have some sort of medical problem and, if so, he will tell you. Further, if he still can't control the secretions of saliva, a doctor may be able to help him. If you really like this guy, do all you can to make it work. If that doesn't work, nothing short of sucking on a sponge may do. I know exactly what you're talking about. I dated a girl like that one time and I really didn't like it. I never said anything, though, I just stopped seeing her.