ShhhhugaMagnolia Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Sorry for the novel here! About 10 years ago, We were friends who made out occasionally but never dated or slept together. We got along great and had many friends in common. He was quite the ladies man, I had bad self confidence. I always had a huge crush but never knew how to take it further then. I ended up dating someone else, he dated around that group of friends we had. We kept a friendship off and on for about a year or two then drifted away. Life went on, other relationships happend and such. A year ago I ended a 6 year relationship and started going online more. I happend to log in to my old msn account.. He was online and sent me a message right away asking how I was and such. He had just gotten out of a relationship also, He had just been stood up that night for a date and was very blunt about how he was at home masterbating. I made fun of him a little and let it go. We would chat off and on after that, usually he was flirty and sexual, at one point it annoyed me and I told him basically to cut it out or it would be another 10 years before we speak again. He stopped and our conversations went back to fun and flirty how they usually have been. We exchanged numbers and texted back and forth often, usually very flirty. I went away on vacation for awhile, we didnt speak for about a month or so. When we started up again, it went back to flirty messages. Some how a flirty conversation led to him sending me a picture of his penis. I was in a bad place from my break up, drinking alot and thought 'well a friend with benefits would be nice', I tried to initate hanging out, He knew i was in a terrible place, so he never took the offer up. We stopped talking for a few weeks again. Then on NYE, we ran into each other at a bar.. the first time seeing each other in years. He seemed extremely excited/happy about it. We spent the night chatting and having a good time. We talked a bit through text after about how nice it was to see each other again. Then online chats kind of dropped to, random hellos here and there for a couple months. Our type of friendship is a sarcastic verbal jabs, playful making fun of the other type. Somewhere in there, He assumed I hated him and asked me why after 2-3 months of just hellos and hows it goings.. I was confused by this as we have ALWAYS been the same way to each other. I suggested we hang out and I would take him out to make up for my "mean" ways. He agreed and we met up later that week for a coffee date. We ended up just talking and poking fun at each other for hours. He looked up at a clock and went "holy sh*t, we have been here for 4 hours?!". At this he told me, He has given up on women and doesnt bother trying anymore. After we chatted online when we both got home and kept up pretty constant chats through out the week. A week later, I was out with friends, drinking and decided to randomly invite him out. It was already late in the night by this point, we were heading to a place he hates, he barely drinks. So I didnt expect a yes. He accepted and showed up looking hot. We sat off alone doing our own thing together..I was quite drunk and very flirty and can be touchy. I got no response from him to it,nor he did back off from anything. I was impressed he showed up despite it not being his thing at all. A few invites to him from me to come hang out fell through for a week, I took it as "well the ball is in his court, so whatever". He had yet to ask me out, so I decided to let it be. Couple days later he asks me to see a movie and says i can 'invite friends'. We ended up going alone, had a nice time, he seemed quiter than usual but he brought up certain things I had invited him to, asked how they were and if we would be doing it again so he can come. The only psychical contact we have is hugs goodbye, always initiated by me. I compliment him alot, he never does to me. He will ask me how I like this or that about him tho. I dont really get why he started off flirty and sexual to aloof. I have yet to approach any conversation regarding "us". Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 OMG, just ask him out on a 'real' date without others hanging around. Go for a nice dinner, tell him you really enjoy his company and like him. Ask him if he'd be interested in dating you. You have nothing to lose! You're single, he's single.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lexa Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I didn't read all of your post but I had something like this happen. Just try not to make it into a cosmically significant thing in your head. Treat it like a new person, but also don't be surprised if whatever happened before.. happens again. Dunno if that helps but that's my advice. Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShhhhugaMagnolia Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 Thanks.. We have been out together without others. I plan to ask eventually.. Was more curious why he went from flirty to very reserved and hard to read. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShhhhugaMagnolia Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 I didn't read all of your post but I had something like this happen. Just try not to make it into a cosmically significant thing in your head. Treat it like a new person, but also don't be surprised if whatever happened before.. happens again. Dunno if that helps but that's my advice. Best of luck Thanks! Def good advice to treat it as a new person Link to post Share on other sites
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