Really Need Help........

[WonderBoy]

Hi my first post to these boards as I didn't want to resort to such a method but I am really down about this one subject and really need some good helpful advice which I hope you people can provide me with that would be of benefit to helping me get through this.

 

Recently I have been going to my local pub with a friend(male) after the gym, we both work part-time at our local sainsburys while I study PE A Level and he studies carpenting that is besides the point, at the pub is a girl I have now known for about 1 year, she originally was working at sainsburys but recently moved to a job as a waitress at the local resturant/pub part-time naturally while she study's performing arts (dancing). May aswell start from the beginning to give you guys/gals an insight into my problem.

 

About 1 year ago, I met this girl who I shall further on refer to as "K". I spoke to her the odd nights after work while I was getting my redbull etc. for the morning and some random accessories like deoderant etc. you know the essentials of life . We got to know each other well but never really "got together" the one night she asked me for my phone number and as any self-respecting male I glady obliged. We started talking alot over the phone and what not about things in general, life and so on and so forth. At first I took K as a friend, now she has become more than that, getting to know her more and more and I have grown fond of her in a way I cannot describe, the only way I would be able to put it is she is my ideal woman, exactly how I would want in the perfect life. Not so long ago, I had to tell her how I really felt, little did I know she had recently broken up with her b/f and didn't want me to load the love thing on her at the time, which I naturally accepted and gave her some space.

 

She then not so long after started flirting with me, I flirted back like a normal person but didn't really make a move because I didn't feel comfortable if she was still getting over her ex. Not long before she left my current place of work a friend of ours had a house party. The main group (including K) arrived about 7pm to start and me and my mate didn't arrive till 10:30pm due to work. Upon arriving we was greeted and so on and so forth, K spotted me and greeted me in the same way any drunk girl would, hugged me, kissed me and was saying hi and wat not. By the by, further into the night I started myself to drink a bit to much, not enough to not remember the night but enough to make myself uneasy. About Half-Way through the party I snogged K many times aswell as many other girls(You do that at student parties.) Anyway towards the end of the night K grabbed my hand and tried to take me upstairs, now Im not the best guy in the world, but knowing that she was very drunk and out of her mind, I pretended to be to drunk to go up the stairs and so turned down an oppurtunity if you get me. I didn't want to take advantage of her while she was drunk, I'm not that kinda guy.

 

1/2 weeks later she left my present work to start her new job at the local bar/pub/resturant. Me and my mate go to the same pub every Sunday after the gym to wind down and have a few drinks. Been as she works at the pub we saw quite alot of each other. At this time she wasn't single and yet again was flirting with me, I thought nothing of it as its generally wat guys and gals do from time to time (I didn't know she wasn't single at the time.) I found out about 1 week later, that she was seeing this guy I shall refer to as E. 1 week later she broke up with E because of indifferences. She was down and I was there to comfort her, spoke to her on the phone to try and help her out and wat not.

 

She stayed single for some time before saying to me that she fancied 2 guys, 1 of which I never knew who it was (Could it of been me who know's?) but she wanted some advice on wat she shud do because this other guy had recently broke up with his ex and she didn't want to push him. Instead of taking my chance I blew it and instead acted the friend part and offered her advice. She never did get together with this guy (and the other guy whoever he was for that matter.) Last Wednesday I spoke to her on the phone for nearly 2 hours from 2am - 4am. We spoke about things, life and each other, finding more and more about each other, and only then did I realise how much we actually have in common. She was complimenting me and the like saying I'm the only guy that makes her really laugh and what not, again thought nothing of it.

 

I went to the pub last night, and found out the hard way that she had a new boyfriend. Now I still feel the same if not "crazier" about her. She's got the whole package at what I'm looking for Gorgeous/Funny/Layed Back and at the same time serious (if you catch my drift.) Now last night me and my friend stayed in the pub until closing, we were eventually told to leave by the manager as we'd outlived our stay. While outside (I had, had a few) I had been through the happy stage of been drunk and then started going through the "my life sucks" stage.

 

Now I am crazy about K and cannot no matter how many other women I meet, get her out of my head, can someone please please give me some advice on what I should do, I am tearing myself up over this and it eats at me day in day out, and makes me realise that twice I have missed the boat. What should I do, should I spill my guts to her in the hope she'll take me over her other b/f (she isn't that type of girl though.) and make a complete fool of myself in the process or do I yet again bide my time in the hope she'll become available again and I make my move then in which it maybe be tolate and have already driven myself to the end of the road.

 

Any constructive advice is welcome, I really need help on this matter as it is eating at me.

 

Thank You

 

J

[EC]

I say spill the guts. But that's just me I've always been the kind to just seize the day ,no regrets....and say exactly what I'm feeling because your not always promised tomorrow.(I learned that the hard way)

The only thing you can do is tell her how you feel. You'll never know and never get her out of your head unless you confess to her and see what she has to say.

Whats the worst that can happen?

If anything you move on...