Ex girlfriend wants to go on a trip with me...WHY? Any advice or suggestions...

[woodstok]

My ex-girlfriend who broke up with me has agreed to go on a trip with me. I got a trip to mexico from work as a bonus and i am able to take one other person, well being that i have been before with friends and not really thinking of going with anyone else who i trust will appreciate it, i asked her to go with me and she agreed. I asked her because she has never been out of the country and i know its something she has always wanted to do, so i figured why not ask her, i am not doing it to get her back as the trip is not for another 3 months but i am doing it because i know as friends we would have fun. I am however just wondering if most people out here would do something like this, would any girlsd here agree to go on a trip with an ex? We still talk often and even when i ignore her she contacts me right away to say hi and that she loves me. She says she is very excited about the trip and is looking forward to it, anyways what to you guys make of this. I would just like some advice as my friends would probably think i am nuts or crazy for taking her so no one else knows she is the one going.

[StartingAgain]

I'm a man, and I think it's a really nice gesture on your part. You say you don't want her back, but just want to be friends. You've won a trip, don't want to go with just anyone, and she's never been out of the country but has always wanted to. Sounds like a win-win situation to me. I don't see where this is a problem. There's no reason why you shouldn't reat her like any other friend just because the two of you were once an item.

[woodstok]

that is true, i mean i wont lie, part of me would like her back but i am not taking her as a way of getting her back, nor do i know truly if i want her back in my life as my girlfriend. Our break up was a bit hard for me because she lied about a few things but the past is the past and we all have to move on, i am just new to the whole being friends after a break up but i like it, its not bad, we talk often yet we each have our own independent lives we live. I was just wondering if this was a good thing or not, yes i know we will have fun and no i honestly dont think anyone else (friends) would appreciate it like her and i dont care to take anyone but her you know. I think it will be a wonderful experience for her and me, the only thing i worry about is old feeling coming back. What should i do if it comes from me or her? And at the same time, if she broke up with me, why has she agreed to go? Most of my friends (girls & guys) think it is odd that she wants to go. Most of my girl friends said they probably would not go if they broke up with someone and they also say maybe she still loves you and this will be a time you guys can talk about things. My guy friends think i am stupid for taking her and that she is playing me to get the trip, but you know what i trust in myself, my heart, and my feelings and in the end only i know the situation so if i take her, then its all on me whatever the outcome is...i just want outside perspectives on this situation, what you guys think?

[CurlyIam]

There's no reason why you shouldn't reat her like any other friend just because the two of you were once an item.

 

You'll have to define "once" before I can answer this... what can I say... sunset over Cancun has a hell of a way to make people think romance!

 

On the other hand, I have on very good friend whom I dated back in high school. He's between my best friends, but we see eachother very rarely so ... anyway, he's the only man I'd trust to go on a trip anywhere and I still won't be that sure that it would be a good idea!

 

 

 

Another thing! Since it's 3 months away, why did you invite your ex now? What if tomorrow you meet a beautiful girl that you fall inlove with? The fact that you've jumped to the opportunity makes me wonder about your feelings. It's not so much about her wanting to gowith you, but about you inviting her 3 months ahead!!!

 

 

I'm not saying you're doing on purpose to seduce her, but to me your post there sounded more like "hi guys, do you think I stand a chance now?". So try not to kid yourself and then take it from there!

[StartingAgain]

You asked her to go, so how can she be playing you? Tell your friends to keep out of this. They are operating on that absurd notion that once you've been romantically involved with someone, you can't be friends anymore. That's a load of crap. You have three months to think about what you really want. If you decide that all you want from her going forward is friendship, the two of you can set some boundries and lay some ground rules.

 

I don't know about you CurlyLam, but I'd need about three months advanced notice to take a trip out of the country, but maybe my life is more complex...

[woodstok]

Well the reason i asked her now is because since the trip was something i got as a bonus from work, i had to decide who was going with me because my work wanted to buy the tickets now as i am sure they got some sort of deal or something by doing it this way. I had no other choice than to decide quick, since i dont think i could actually hang out with one of my buds for a week in a nice resort i asked her for the previous reasons i stated in my first post. Yes i am also aware that i may meet a new girl and if i did not mention already she is seeing someone new already so we both know there could be circumstances but neither one of us has talked about that, we both understand, but we both also want to go on this trip. Its not often you get a trip, fully paid, all inclusive and why not take the opportunity, regardless of what the current love life is like for both of us, i wont pass up on this, and if i am with someone new i will tell them and if they dont understand (which i dont blame them if they dont) then so be it, i am not canceling this trip....you would have to be crazy.....7 days in mexico, 5 star resort....heck no i wont cancel....i also said sure i am aware feelings may come back but i am not doing it to win her heart back, if that was the case i would be trying right now to be with her, but i am not......i just cant think of anyone else who i would have a blast with, who knows me well, and who i also happen to think deserves it and would enjoy it. My main question was not "do i still have a chance" it was just a simple "is this something most ex's would do?" go on a trip. Why would she agree to go? Even 3 months away which goes by quick, she said yes, she knows i cant change the ticket names as they are already purchased and i fully told her ahead if she wanted to go she was stuck because the tickets are non refundable or transferable. She is excited and happy and was surprised also that i asked her to go. She knew i was up for this possible trip and when i got it i told her i won, and said "would you like to go?" Anyways some advice or suggestions would be helpful and also thank you for your responses, i am sure this topic is dumb but i thank you for reading it and replying....

 

P.S. we were together for 8 months and lived together for 6 of those, it was a great relationship except we began acting like an old married coupld and stopped going out, so she broke up with me for space, time, and to find out if she was ready for a relationship like ours........

[lost_in_chgo]

yeah ok.

 

you don't have to justify anything here.

The fact that you didn't invite your new gf indicates that this is more than "just a trip"

 

No problem with that.

Just be honest with yourself and play it very cool on the trip.

[woodstok]

No i dont have a new girlfriend, i am not dating anyone new right now, me ex is the one seeing someone new, not me. Yet she still agreed to go......

[CurlyIam]

StartingAgain, you are right!

 

I do forget that life is different in the US. Here people are"forced" to have 5 weeks of paid vacation. IT's the law! Plus one day a months of paid vacation, plus... I don't think you want to here about labour legislation now...

 

Combine this with me being a student... hell, I don't know what I'm gonna do next week! And even when I was busiest, I've never planned my vacation sooner than 4 weeks before! It's just too weird ! Never thought of it as another cultural misunderstanding!!!

[woodstok]

5 weeks paid vacation!!!!!!....WOW.....that would be soooooo nice, but here in the US, because of work and time you generally plan your vacation at lease 2 months in advance, so you can let your job know, you can purchase tickets, plan everything. Since here we get about 2 weeks vacation per year if that.....

[CurlyIam]

Wanna hear something really wild?Besidethe 35 hours of work a week, that's an old one!

 

Ok, there it goes: it's against the law to have supermarkets opened on Sundays, and those how do (for you may actually find some if you're lucky), are paying fines! Yup, that's for real !

[StartingAgain]

we were together for 8 months and lived together for 6 of those, it was a great relationship except we began acting like an old married coupld and stopped going out, so she broke up with me for space, time, and to find out if she was ready for a relationship like ours........

 

Daaa-aam! but you children live a life in a week! A whole life in 8 months. Go figure.

 

5 weeks of paid vacation. IT's the law! Plus one day a months of paid vacation, plus... I don't think you want to here about labour legislation now...

 

Mais bien sur, la vive est bonne a France!

 

Can I emmigrate? s'il vous plait?