quyster Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 We were together for 3 yrs, broke up for 4 monts, no contact for 3 weeks. I'm doing no contact but we keep having things that have to involve talking n seeing each other. Because we've been together too long n lived together all those time... Like the first week after no contact, it's 1 year since the death of my close friend. She knows him well too. So she had to go wit me n our friends cuz no one knows my friends moms house. We ended seeing each other the whole time n cant avoid talking to each other. This week, there's some business i need to do that involed her parents. It's important n she needed to call me to let me know. The 4 months after broken up, we argued a lot. And I was always the puppet under her strings.. I tried to walk away n avoid her many times.... it works for a short period of time..... but always come back worst..... and i'm back into her abusiveness. I know she loves me, n she broke up wit me using those classic lines " not ur fault, its mine.... need space.... need to find myself.." She missed me n cared for a bit but turn cold the minute I show weakness n vulnerable.... everytime... over n over... This time, i'm much stronger since a long time has pass..... After three weeks, she still acts cool and seems not to care much about me.. Im still keeping my feet firm, except those interuptions. Well, my question is, is my no contact working? or it's too early to say..... Please give me advices from the experienced's.!!!!!!! I just dont want to be used n abused anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 I'm confused. Is getting back together with this woman your goal (after the no contact period)? -DA Link to post Share on other sites
Author quyster Posted July 12, 2004 Author Share Posted July 12, 2004 Getting back with her has always been my dream..... I thougth about it all the time. I only recently not putting my hope so high n fall hard if she doesn't come back. My most concern now is to protect myself from her using n abusing. She is treating me pretty bad... Link to post Share on other sites
Author quyster Posted July 12, 2004 Author Share Posted July 12, 2004 OK let me tell me some example of her abusiveness 2 months ago, she was dating this guy but trying not to let me know. I knew because my friends n hers have been telling me. WHen i came back to move the rest of my stuff from her house. She called like 20 times a day. Left me voice mails. Saying that she misses me... Cried on phone .... cried in voice mail. She said that she's going thru tough time n needed my support. So i turned soft n said i would b there for her anytime..... Guess what, she then ignore me , doesnt want to talk to me.... then tell me to move on.... things doesn't work...... SO, she broken my heart AGAIN 1 month ago, I started dating this cute girl..... and one of my friend told her about it. She goes around n ask about this new girl. Then try to come to me n say all the stuff like " would I forgive her.... she'll do anything to change.... she'll be committed to me n only me... will change her way for me.... admit her problems" A week after that.... she told me that.... " SHe loves me n she knows i'm the one for her, the love of her life but... love me with all of her heart... It is just not time right now.... when time comes.... then she can do all that for me but not now.... shes confused... hurt to do this" then tell me to move on with my life again dont waste time waiting for her, she cant keep me around for herself... she doesnt want to be selfish. Then i'm left hanging again not knowing what the hell happened. Well, I still want to get back wit her..... but I tried n do everythign i could in the past 4 months.... N i get hurt everytime. I'm sick of being played, being weak, n vulnerable. I still want her back, but I have to love myself n stand up for myself this time. Link to post Share on other sites
tootolerant Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 i went through a very similar thing and eventually found the only way to deal with it was to cut all ties. i changed my phone number stayed out alot to avoid visits and although it was hard i got stronger every day without lapses caused from contact Link to post Share on other sites
Author quyster Posted July 12, 2004 Author Share Posted July 12, 2004 That's what i'm trying to do. Keeping my feet firm with the no contact rules. Link to post Share on other sites
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