ehehef Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Has anyone else had a similar problem? My fiancee and parents have met a few times, we've gone out to dinner/coffee with them a few times, the two families have met three times ("obligatory" dinners to get to know each other) and everone is generally polite and gets along, though not in a "buddy-buddy" kind of way. Since then, and due to various "episodes" where I have conveyed my parents' complaints to my fiancee (mainly about her not showing enough interest in spending time with them) and my fiancee's complaints to my parents (mainly about them being overbearing and tiring and influencing me too much), both "sides" don't really want to see each other, and the more i try to make light of the situation and beg them to give things a chance, the more they see this as pressure from me and have absolutely NO desire to see each other. Which just makes me sad and angry, because this is NOT the situation I had imagined before getting engaged a few months ago. Sure, things can't be perfect with everyone, but family to me is important, and while my fiancee seems to agree, she is also the type of independent woman (she's been living on her own for a few years) who maintains very clear "boundaries" between parents and children. "Keep them INFORMED" she says, "but not INVOLVED in your life". I can't help but feel partially responsible because I have a tendency to talk too much to everyone and not "filter out" when someone is just venting their feelings instead of actually seeking change. And when someone complains I don't want to disappoint them and try to keep everyone happy, which can't always happen of course. It just seems that things have gotten out of hand and I don't know what to do to salvage the situation -- if it's at all possible. I'm trying to stomach the idea that I'm being forced to "choose" between my parents and my future wife, and that in the future things will not change. Has anyone else had issues with trying to balance the people you love? ehehef. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Jeez... yet another post about the same dang thing. Maybe you should stop posting about it and start doing something to fix the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts