stillafool Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Poor Mount. MM is out enjoying his summer with his family and friends and you are alone worrying about whether he loves you or not. You deserve so much better. This is why affairs are so rotten. Time goes so fast and before you know it 5 years will have passed and you're still waiting. Is he worth it? Is he worth it? If you do want to climb the corporate ladder please protect your reputation. Having an affair looks bad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 WWI, as promised, it is DONE now.:bunny: I just shut him off - no more Friday meet up...no more. So proud of you Mount! I hope you feel enlightened for taking back some control. Use this as a starting point and be strong (PM me and keep posting) so you can continue to ward off your manipulative exMM! Link to post Share on other sites
beenburned Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Mount, You said he told you "you were not the second in his life". What does this mean? You mentioned he has been married 35 years, has he always been a serial cheater throughout their marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 What the MM tried to tell me is that I am as important or more important than his wife/family, again, we can not count his words anyway. He kept telling me that he was only in bed with his wife (of course) and me................................BUT doesn't it make me sound very bad woman:sick::sick: to destroy his monogamy. Mount, You said he told you "you were not the second in his life". What does this mean? You mentioned he has been married 35 years, has he always been a serial cheater throughout their marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 WWI....:confused: you know what I am going to say..............I met him again on Friday.....actually it was my choice (I just want to be extremely honest to you all the time). When I shut him down Thursday night, he then kept quiet and we messaged a bit Friday morning. He mentioned that he thought we planned to have lunch on Friday, so I caved again thus we met. I guess I am still in the fog.:sick::sick: So proud of you Mount! I hope you feel enlightened for taking back some control. Use this as a starting point and be strong (PM me and keep posting) so you can continue to ward off your manipulative exMM! Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Mount Until you decide you want NC and do it thats when you will get support for it. He seems to have you wrapped around his finger right now. He will continue to give you crumbs if you allow him to. He wont leave his wife he is enjoying having his cake and eating it . If you want this then continue to meet him on Fridays and do what your doing. Every time you try to get away he will convince you to talk to him and keep this going. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 I know....:confused: my dear friend...I know. However, not to defend the MM, just want to clarify, this time even I did not start to msg him Friday morning I guess he would keep quiet.....so I have to say this time I initiated. So is there any win-win solution/situation possible coming out? Just wonder. Mount Until you decide you want NC and do it thats when you will get support for it. He seems to have you wrapped around his finger right now. He will continue to give you crumbs if you allow him to. He wont leave his wife he is enjoying having his cake and eating it . If you want this then continue to meet him on Fridays and do what your doing. Every time you try to get away he will convince you to talk to him and keep this going. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 WWI....:confused: you know what I am going to say..............I met him again on Friday.....actually it was my choice (I just want to be extremely honest to you all the time). When I shut him down Thursday night, he then kept quiet and we messaged a bit Friday morning. He mentioned that he thought we planned to have lunch on Friday, so I caved again thus we met. I guess I am still in the fog.:sick::sick: When you are sick of it and have had enough, you'll end it. People need to reach their enough is enough stage at their own pace. You can however, still detach and rely on him less and less. You can be pro active in not texting him first, or replying back to him. The thing is, he manipulated you. You do know that, right? You cancelled, then he got quiet and probably (?) pouted/sulked, knew what buttons to push so you would "un"cancel your plans with him. If he had cancelled, and you had pouted or tried to change his mind, chances are much higher he would have STILL said no, that he was busy and couldn't meet you for lunch. So, that leads me to, if he cancels, it's legit yet you cancel and it isn't? He can't just accept that and leave it be? I hope this makes sense to you and you see where I'm going with this. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 And yes, please be honest. No reason not to. You're not letting me down, or anybody else on here down.. You're only letting yourself down by changing your own boundries with him, caving and letting him back in. This is why he knows how to push your buttons so you'll cave - He knows you will because of past behaviour! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 Hi WWI, thanks for your support all the time, even though I am not quite understand what you were saying "that leads me to, if he cancels, it's legit yet you cancel and it isn't? He can't just accept that and leave it be?? And yes, based on what you said "You can however, still detach and rely on him less and less. You can be pro active in not texting him first, or replying back to him." , I am just tryint to keep myself/life busy, try my best to detach as possible as I can. And the thing is that we really don't text much in reality...guess that is good thing. When you are sick of it and have had enough, you'll end it. People need to reach their enough is enough stage at their own pace. You can however, still detach and rely on him less and less. You can be pro active in not texting him first, or replying back to him. The thing is, he manipulated you. You do know that, right? You cancelled, then he got quiet and probably (?) pouted/sulked, knew what buttons to push so you would "un"cancel your plans with him. If he had cancelled, and you had pouted or tried to change his mind, chances are much higher he would have STILL said no, that he was busy and couldn't meet you for lunch. So, that leads me to, if he cancels, it's legit yet you cancel and it isn't? He can't just accept that and leave it be? I hope this makes sense to you and you see where I'm going with this. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Hi WWI, thanks for your support all the time, even though I am not quite understand what you were saying "that leads me to, if he cancels, it's legit yet you cancel and it isn't? He can't just accept that and leave it be?? And yes, based on what you said "You can however, still detach and rely on him less and less. You can be pro active in not texting him first, or replying back to him." , I am just tryint to keep myself/life busy, try my best to detach as possible as I can. And the thing is that we really don't text much in reality...guess that is good thing. What I mean is, if he cancels on you, it's accepted by you. He can say 'family obligations or I'm busy' . if YOU cancel on him, it isn't accepted by him, he pushes you to uncancel or questions you. At least that's how it seems.. Don't let him guilt you! You cancelled for a reason. So why did you decide to meet him anyway? The less texting and contact the better off you will be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 You are probably right, when people usually try to manuplate it is always been done discreetly I suppose. To answer your question, I guess the tempation to meet him overrides my willpower. :( What I mean is, if he cancels on you, it's accepted by you. He can say 'family obligations or I'm busy' . if YOU cancel on him, it isn't accepted by him, he pushes you to uncancel or questions you. At least that's how it seems.. Don't let him guilt you! You cancelled for a reason. So why did you decide to meet him anyway? The less texting and contact the better off you will be. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 You are probably right, when people usually try to manuplate it is always been done discreetly I suppose. To answer your question, I guess the tempation to meet him overrides my willpower. :( He's doing it selfishly, not malicously.. Only you can stop the temptation. If you want to.. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 What's the point in ANY contact with this man who doesn't consider your feelings FIRST? While signing up to be his OW - you are automatically placed in a position of being 3rd or 4th on his list of priorities = an afterthought of sorts! Why is that good enough? It shouldn't be! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 What's the point in ANY contact with this man who doesn't consider your feelings FIRST? While signing up to be his OW - you are automatically placed in a position of being 3rd or 4th on his list of priorities = an afterthought of sorts! Why is that good enough? It shouldn't be! Your right it shouldn't be enough, but when you love someone and they tell you they you "unconditionally " it's hard to quit. And I'm not a quitter lol! Link to post Share on other sites
Stellar Wench Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 he wants to continue the A as long as we can. He already knows that your A has an expiration date. Take some control of the sitch and decide what day that is. Hopefully it will be before your career is destroyed. Link to post Share on other sites
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