Riddler Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 alright... i have a situation here... no she didn't cheat, she's not flirting, and i'm not jealous... but i feel like she's cheating our relationship. in 2 months, it will make 3 years we've been together. she quit smoking for me along time ago, and would start back for short periods of time, then quit again (supposedly, now i question it..)... well, she's been smoking again since earlier this year. she supposedly quit for me yet again, but this time i've been busting her. i haven't busted her since April. she came in the other day, watery-eyed from crying.. and when i asked why, she said she smoked. my first reaction was "why would you cry from that?" and she said she was scared i'd leave her for it. (NOTE: as much as i hate smoking, i wouldn't leave her for it.) well, i found out tonight through my sister that, she's been smoking ALOT more than what she's telling me. in fact, since April, she's been smoking about an estimate of once a week. sure, that's good for a smoker trying to quit. but the problem is, she's been lying to me the whole time. broken promises, untruthful swears, the whole 9 yards. yesterday she left to go back to her homestate for about a week, and my sister told me earlier (when she told me about my girl's smoking) that she (my girl) had bought a pack to take on the bus with her...and had planned on buying a carton once she got to her home state. this really has me doubting our relationship now, naturally. obviously i cant trust her for truth, if she'd lie to me about smoking. she's been lying and hiding this this whole time. i thought about leaving her for it... but i came to my senses... i think. i'm gonna give her another chance. i'm gonna tell her to tell me the truth, and tell me every time she smokes... and if she lies again, then it's over i guess... i mean, it's not like this is her 2nd chance. i've given her plenty of "second" chances in our relationship, for these kinda reasons, and other stuff. opinions and advice needed... Link to post Share on other sites
echoparkdude Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 dude, it seems like it's just smoking. Just make her brush after she smokes, maybe that will be too annoying and she'll quit. I think smoking issue is about consideration. I used to smoke when my GF and I started going out. She didn't mind me smoking, she just didn't like the taste when we kissed so I brushed and changed my shirt before she came over. what are you worried about exactly? if you're worried that she'll die from smoking and you want her to be with you forever, then that's another issue I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Stop overanalyzing things. She is having a tough time quitting. She feels bad about not being able to quit and that is why she is hiding it. She is trying to quit for you. Which, IMO never works. She will never be successful quitting unless she wants too. Link to post Share on other sites
Butterfly_Queen Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I agree with Deb, shes having a hard time. Its an addiction and its hard to shake. Not only that but shes feeling the pressure from you to stop because she knows you want her too, and she has to be able to want to quit for herself. Anytime someone is trying to stop something they are doing, it should be for themselves first of all, not for anyone else. I smoke and yes it is hard to quit. Sometimes it takes awhile. Just be there for her and give her some support about it. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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