What does he want from me ?

[Ms. Red]

Thank you for your opinion. Any more opinions?

 

Yeah, WTF did he do that was so bad and crossing the line? He said "I like you". SHOCK! That's just terrible! How dare he say such a thing. I have people tell me that and I don't jump right on it like they are crushing on me. IMO, I think ppl are over-reacting. But this is the drama section after all.

 

Do you really sense that he's having feelings for you? You're asking us what we think he is thinking but you are the one who sees him in person and has known him for a while. If you don't have a clue how could we strangers have a clue what he's thinking? Anyone who thinks they know are projecting their own situation and prejudice into your situation.

 

IMO you should keep it professional and not cross any lines. Go home and fantasize all you want after you see him but keep it there and don't start something that has a small chance of ending up a positive for you in your life.

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Yeah, WTF did he do that was so bad and crossing the line? He said "I like you". SHOCK! That's just terrible! How dare he say such a thing. I have people tell me that and I don't jump right on it like they are crushing on me. IMO, I think ppl are over-reacting. But this is the drama section after all.

 

Do you really sense that he's having feelings for you? You're asking us what we think he is thinking but you are the one who sees him in person and has known him for a while. If you don't have a clue how could we strangers have a clue what he's thinking? Anyone who thinks they know are projecting their own situation and prejudice into your situation.

 

IMO you should keep it professional and not cross any lines. Go home and fantasize all you want after you see him but keep it there and don't start something that has a small chance of ending up a positive for you in your life.

 

You don't know the entire situation. Please read my first post, and maybe let me know what you think, that would be great. I'm completely confused, and do not know what to think. I have given as much information as possible in my first post, so I could get some opinions on what people would think what is going on with him, as I am really lost with this at the moment

[GG2W]

Take it from one who pursues married women for my sexual pleasure, he is not in love with you. All he wants another sexual conquest. I also think that you know this and am hoping others will tell you that this is not the case and might be the real thing.

 

Quite simply if he is willing to cheat on his wife for you, what makes you think that he is not already having affairs with others.

[frozensprouts]

OP...

why on earth does it matter what he is thinking...if you are not going to act on it ( as you attest) then why does it matter one bit?

 

You insist that all you want to do is kiss him, and that isn't cheating him cheating...not sure if you've ever been married or not, but if you were, and you found out your husband had kissed another woman, what would you think? Would you think it was cheating or that it was just a kiss?

 

Not to sound harsh or anything, but you keep saying that you are shy. So what. Lots of us are shy...that doesn't make us do things we consider morally wrong. Please stop worrying so much about him and what he's thnking, and start worrying about yourself and what you are thinking. It sounds like you have been through a rough time, which is bad, but that doesn't give you the right to engage in something that will hurt others ( his wife and kids if he has any). You can still have total control over yourself...if you don't want to get involved with him then don't...simple as that. If you do, then own that....don't make excuses for your behavior.

 

If you feel that you have a lot invested in your relationship with him and that you have no one else to turn to, then wy not use your energy to change that situation. It's okay to turn to your friends for support...if you don't want to do that, then get a therapist ( I would anyway...it sounds like you need someone to listen and help you work through your rough times)...

 

in summary...you have control over those situation, but you have to be willing to exercise that control. It may be hard, but you can if you want to.

[I'msolostatthemoment]

You're "disgusted" by the amount of infidelity you've seen, yet YOU want to be a part of this "disgusting" scene now. And because you feel things get stale and boring after many years, infidelity is justified.

 

That's great, but it's YOUR opinion. Maybe lawyer boy's WIFE doesn't see things the same way YOU do. Your opinion doesn't give you the moral right to act like a stupid teenage girl, fawning all over some scumbag married lawyer, hoping to get your claws into him.

 

And don't spout that BULLSH*T about YOU being innocent and HE being the married one. Your hands will be just as dirty as his because you're CHOOSING to disrespect his wife and their marriage, knowing FULL WELL she exists - regardless of whether you know her or not or made vows to her or not.

 

If you're a big enough girl to sleaze it up, then you're a big enough girl to own your SH*T.

 

I do not appreciate your post. I am not and will not be a part of infidelity that takes place. To me, an affair is something that would take place over a period of time. That would not be the case with me and him, should anything occur. I would like to kiss him, but that is it. I would then discuss what has taken place with me and him, and to get it sorted out.

 

Things so and would get stale and boring over the years with married couples, I have seen it myself. A husband or wife might participate in an affair, not because they want to, but because there are some sort of problem in the marriage, or either parties are bored. I did not say that this justifies infidelity, but I an UNDERSTAND how infidelity can take place after many years of marriage to another person. Humans are not monogomous creatures.

 

That's great, but it's YOUR opinion. Maybe lawyer boy's WIFE doesn't see things the same way YOU do. Your opinion doesn't give you the moral right to act like a stupid teenage girl, fawning all over some scumbag married lawyer, hoping to get your claws into him.

 

I am entitled to my opinion, and I don't wish to be abused because of my opinion. How could you call me a stupid teenage girl, hoping to get my claws into my lawyer when you don't even know me, or the situation I am in? That is not called for, and I didn't come here to get abused or to be judged. I came here for advise, and to seek people's opinions on my situation, not to get abused.

 

And don't spout that BULLSH*T about YOU being innocent and HE being the married one. Your hands will be just as dirty as his because you're CHOOSING to disrespect his wife and their marriage, knowing FULL WELL she exists - regardless of whether you know her or not or made vows to her or not.

 

If you're a big enough girl to sleaze it up, then you're a big enough girl to own your SH*T

 

I never said I was innocent. I am not disrespecting their marraige, as I do not want to take part in an affair with him whatsoever.

 

Your post was upsetting to me, uncalled for. WOuld you like it if I gave you abuse? I think not.

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Call his wife and ask HER if a "kiss" is innocent. Going with my gut here, but I'm guessing she WON'T agree with your silly, delusional thinking.

 

If you can't call a spade a spade and quit dressing this nonsense up as innocent, you don't belong in the game.

 

OWN YOUR SH*T!

 

I have been really honest here with what has taken place, and a kiss is all I would want from him, NOT an affair. I know she wouldn't be happy about it, but it would just be a kiss, and that would be all it would be. Saying I have silly delusional thinking is just a hurtful thing to say, and wrong when you don't even know me.

 

I would appreciate some constructive advice rather than abuse.

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Take it from one who pursues married women for my sexual pleasure, he is not in love with you. All he wants another sexual conquest. I also think that you know this and am hoping others will tell you that this is not the case and might be the real thing.

 

Quite simply if he is willing to cheat on his wife for you, what makes you think that he is not already having affairs with others.

 

Thank you for your very honest advice, I really do appreciate it. This is the honest advice I was looking for so thank you.

[I'msolostatthemoment]

OP...

why on earth does it matter what he is thinking...if you are not going to act on it ( as you attest) then why does it matter one bit?

 

You insist that all you want to do is kiss him, and that isn't cheating him cheating...not sure if you've ever been married or not, but if you were, and you found out your husband had kissed another woman, what would you think? Would you think it was cheating or that it was just a kiss?

 

Not to sound harsh or anything, but you keep saying that you are shy. So what. Lots of us are shy...that doesn't make us do things we consider morally wrong. Please stop worrying so much about him and what he's thnking, and start worrying about yourself and what you are thinking. It sounds like you have been through a rough time, which is bad, but that doesn't give you the right to engage in something that will hurt others ( his wife and kids if he has any). You can still have total control over yourself...if you don't want to get involved with him then don't...simple as that. If you do, then own that....don't make excuses for your behavior.

 

If you feel that you have a lot invested in your relationship with him and that you have no one else to turn to, then wy not use your energy to change that situation. It's okay to turn to your friends for support...if you don't want to do that, then get a therapist ( I would anyway...it sounds like you need someone to listen and help you work through your rough times)...

 

in summary...you have control over those situation, but you have to be willing to exercise that control. It may be hard, but you can if you want to.

 

I would like to know what he is thinking so I have a better idea of what is going on, and can settle my mind about this whole thing.

 

I have never been married, and never want to get married. I know if his wife found out, she would be upset, and would have every right to be upset, I would be if I were her too. I have a very open mind about relationships, and I believe monogomy is something which is on the decline, and I understand that after years of marriage, something like this can occur, not because a husband or wife wakes up one day and decides I am going to have an kiss someone or affair with someone, but because it happens over time, and no one intends on it happening, but it does. We are human beings after all.

 

I am very shy with men, I always have been. I do not have the courage whatsoever to even look someone in the eye that I like, never mind to make any sort of move on them. If someone likes me, I live in hope that they will talk to me or do something about it, because I cannot whatsoever, I really can't, and I really hope you believe me when I say that.

 

If anything were to happen, it would have to be him that does something, otherwise it would never take place, and thats the truth.

 

Thank you for your concern about me. Hell has got to be a nicer place than what I have gone through over the past few years, including the fact that I was in hospital and could have died from what I have been put through. I cannot afford to see a therapist, as I have very little money at the moment.

 

Thank you for your reply

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Take it from one who pursues married women for my sexual pleasure, he is not in love with you. All he wants another sexual conquest. I also think that you know this and am hoping others will tell you that this is not the case and might be the real thing.

 

Quite simply if he is willing to cheat on his wife for you, what makes you think that he is not already having affairs with others.

 

GG2W, thank you for your honesty in your post. He told me about a year ago out of the blue that he liked me (Refer to my first post). As a guy who pursues women, was he telling lies, or is it possible he might have been telling the truth?

 

If you think he was telling lies, you can say it to me, I really appreciate your honest opinion thanks

[Leelou]

 

So he is being helpful, supportive and complimenting me until I effectively give into him, or indicate I am interested in him? Is he doing all of this for the intent of having sex with me or an affair? I guess its just to know what is going on in his head, or what he wants from me. I cannot, and will never say any of this to him, as I would be too afraid to as he is my lawyer, and I would be too embarassed, and I am extremely shy

Yes he is being extra helpful, supportive and complimenting of you to get you to invest in him, to give him a chance, to change your mind from 'not' to 'maybe' getting involved in him.

 

He wants to sex you, yes of course! And he's not got it planned out in his head too far... he sees you as a 'challenge' to get into your pants, so he doesn't fully believe he CAN get you, but he still tries.

He is alpha male and competitive, and used to going after what he wants, after what seems like a hopeless case - he will still go for it, he is a lawyer, after all.

He's idly curious about the verdict - will you say 'yes' to him and allow him to sex you, or not?

Either end result, he doesn't really care. He is just following his competitive nature.

 

What is likely to happen is that YOU will obsess so much with What he Said to you and What it all could possibly mean, and then you will fantasize and start to feel excited, and yearn for him.

And then he will make a bold move, to see if he can touch you.

 

It's all up to you.

 

He is NOT thinking about the future. I don't know if he is the type to want to screw you just once and then get the heck away from you as fast as possible with the age-old excuse of "OMG, I couldn't help myself - you were so irresistable, how could I do this to my wife! I'm married, we can never do this again!" to make you feel guilty and leave him alone.

Or, if he is the type to take, take, take from you and enjoy the fringe benefits of an ongoing affair... boosting his ego, feeling sexy and getting sum.

 

Honestly, it's ALL up to YOU.

 

If you give him the green light he will go ahead, for either one sex session, or a few, or for as long as you allow it.

 

If you shut him down when he next tries his advances, he will feel reprimanded, but know you are right.

 

It's up to you whether you want to invest in scum.

[Leelou]

GG2W, thank you for your honesty in your post. He told me about a year ago out of the blue that he liked me (Refer to my first post). As a guy who pursues women, was he telling lies, or is it possible he might have been telling the truth?

 

If you think he was telling lies, you can say it to me, I really appreciate your honest opinion thanks

It's not 'lies' so much as he is looking to see which key will 'open' you up to him. He is trying every which way to see what works on you.

 

He will say he likes you; no effect? Then he will stare longingly at your face and body parts. Does him staring at your legs or as$ turn you on? Not? Then he will compliment you on your outfit, your jewelery, perhaps your hair. He will say what a great person you are, etc etc, pushing all the buttons, to FIND out WHICH one is Open Sesame

[Leelou]

I have been really honest here with what has taken place, and a kiss is all I would want from him, NOT an affair. I know she wouldn't be happy about it, but it would just be a kiss, and that would be all it would be. Saying I have silly delusional thinking is just a hurtful thing to say, and wrong when you don't even know me.

 

I would appreciate some constructive advice rather than abuse.

A kiss is all you want. Well he wants more than that. Don't expect him to give up and walk away after he gives you what you want.

 

Do you imagine it will be any easier to walk away from him AFTER you get your kiss? Or after he gets his screw?

No, it will just become more complicated.

 

How old are you, how old is he? How long has he been married, and how old are his kids? Lets shed some light on his thinking here.

[serialgf]

In regards to your original post and your original question of does he have feelings for you or want to have an affair with you? Let's look at the evidence you've presented....

 

The only objective evidence that you've presented is that he told you he likes you and that he called you "Love" a couple of times. Now, telling you he likes you does not sound like an indication he is falling in love with you, wants to kiss you, or have an affair with you. If anything, it could be construed as a bit unprofessional. Same with calling you "Love". The "Love" thing seems to me like it could be because of your weak state he feels like he can address you with a term of endearment. However, I would not take this to mean he actually likes you (like you know, more than a client).

 

All of the other things you mentioned in your OP, i.e. his looking at your face and legs, asking about who gave you the necklace, talking to you in a caring way, those are all completely subjective. There are many number of reasons he could have done those things. And those are all things that could very well be in your mind. Maybe he ate bad indian food and that's why he went to the bathroom for 10 minutes. Or, more realistically, maybe he got a phone call or his secretary asked him a question. And if he was, as you were suggesting, jerking off in there (laughable!), then why in the world would you want to get involved with someone who does that? I don't know though, that's not for me to judge.

 

It sounds like you have spent a lot of time with your lawyer in the last year and it's easy to see how in your emotionally turmoiled state, you would construe those instances as evidence of him having feelings. However, he is NOT in an emotionally turmoiled state, he is doing his job. You are just a client to him, perhaps he cares about you in the sense that a vet grows to care for an injured animal, but I wouldn't read anything further into his actions. Spare yourself the embarrassment. And when I say you are just a client, I mean that in an objective way. You are his client, he is your lawyer. Those are the facts.

 

In conclusion, NO, from the details you included in your OP and your subsequent posts in this thread, all of which I read, it does not sound like he wants to have an affair with you or has feelings for you. It sounds more likely that you are projecting your own desires onto the situation. That being said, as others have said, you are the only one who is actually living this experience, so it is quite near impossible to tell you what he is thinking.

 

To me, it seems, as others have told you in not the kindest way, that you need to focus on getting yourself well. If this man wants to kiss you or have an affair with you, then he will caress your face, look you in the eyes and then actually try to kiss you. That right there or him saying "I have developed feelings for you" or "I want to kiss you" would be actual evidence that he has those feelings. Anything short of that is just your own imaginings.

 

(NOTE: I have tried to be as objective as possible in my response to your post and purposely avoided making any judgments on whether or not you should have an affair, other posters have got that covered. So I hope this is what you are looking for OP in terms of advice.)

 

Best of luck!

Edited August 2, 2012 by serialgf
typo, additional info

[venusianx13]

I honestly think you are reaching...

I am sure that lawyers and their clients develop a little bit of a bond over time, working together. From what I read, you seem to be projecting your feelings for him onto nothing more than a professional relationship that may seem a little bit friendly at times, but I don't see where he's done anything wrong. You are probably looking for comfort in the man you've become somewhat close to over time... comfort in somehow gaining feelings of self-worth and adequacy at the thought of him wanting you. If he wanted to make a move, I believe he would have done it by now. Looking at your face is no indicator that he is in love with you. If that were the case, the man I work with (a lawyer) who I just had a friendly lunch with must be in love with me, too... he also compliments my manner of dress from time to time, and looks at my face when he talks to me. I am under no impression that he wants me, as I know he is happily married with a new child. We are friends. I honestly just think you want to be loved, or at the very least, desired by someone...I think it's your way of comforting yourself through a difficult time. You have other options out there, besides this man. I think you should do some "you time" and then maybe give dating some available men a try.

Edited August 2, 2012 by venusianx13

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Yes he is being extra helpful, supportive and complimenting of you to get you to invest in him, to give him a chance, to change your mind from 'not' to 'maybe' getting involved in him.

 

He wants to sex you, yes of course! And he's not got it planned out in his head too far... he sees you as a 'challenge' to get into your pants, so he doesn't fully believe he CAN get you, but he still tries.

He is alpha male and competitive, and used to going after what he wants, after what seems like a hopeless case - he will still go for it, he is a lawyer, after all.

He's idly curious about the verdict - will you say 'yes' to him and allow him to sex you, or not?

Either end result, he doesn't really care. He is just following his competitive nature.

 

What is likely to happen is that YOU will obsess so much with What he Said to you and What it all could possibly mean, and then you will fantasize and start to feel excited, and yearn for him.

And then he will make a bold move, to see if he can touch you.

 

It's all up to you.

 

He is NOT thinking about the future. I don't know if he is the type to want to screw you just once and then get the heck away from you as fast as possible with the age-old excuse of "OMG, I couldn't help myself - you were so irresistable, how could I do this to my wife! I'm married, we can never do this again!" to make you feel guilty and leave him alone.

Or, if he is the type to take, take, take from you and enjoy the fringe benefits of an ongoing affair... boosting his ego, feeling sexy and getting sum.

 

Honestly, it's ALL up to YOU.

 

If you give him the green light he will go ahead, for either one sex session, or a few, or for as long as you allow it.

 

If you shut him down when he next tries his advances, he will feel reprimanded, but know you are right.

 

It's up to you whether you want to invest in scum.

 

Yes he is being extra helpful, supportive and complimenting of you to get you to invest in him, to give him a chance, to change your mind from 'not' to 'maybe' getting involved in him.

 

He wants to sex you, yes of course! And he's not got it planned out in his head too far... he sees you as a 'challenge' to get into your pants, so he doesn't fully believe he CAN get you, but he still tries.

 

I have ignored most of his advances, and he thinks I haven't noticed his advances but I have. So, with what you have said here, has it faked everything he has done (Staring at me, complimenting me, telling me he likes me) in an attempt to try and get to have sex with me? Has it all been lies, or is there any truth in his actions?

 

What is likely to happen is that YOU will obsess so much with What he Said to you and What it all could possibly mean, and then you will fantasize and start to feel excited, and yearn for him.

And then he will make a bold move, to see if he can touch you.

 

He has never attempted to touch me!

[I'msolostatthemoment]

A kiss is all you want. Well he wants more than that. Don't expect him to give up and walk away after he gives you what you want.

 

Do you imagine it will be any easier to walk away from him AFTER you get your kiss? Or after he gets his screw?

No, it will just become more complicated.

 

How old are you, how old is he? How long has he been married, and how old are his kids? Lets shed some light on his thinking here.

 

I really really appreciate your responses, they are very helpful, and the advice I was looking for

 

From what I have told you, would you be pretty sure sex is what he is after with me?

 

No there is no way I would have sex with him. It would damage my professional relationship with him, and would have a bad effect on my case, and I am fighting for my life with my case, so I won't be risking that, as well as the fact he is a lawyer, and who is to know he wouldn't turn around and try to sue me for sexual harassment or something.

 

I am in my late 20's, and he is in his forty's I would say. He has two children. I have no idea how long he has been married, but I would say about 10 years or maybe 12 judging by the age of his children.

 

What do you think?

[ver13]

You know what he wants from you... Why are you asking us, the question is are you going to do it ????

[I'msolostatthemoment]

In regards to your original post and your original question of does he have feelings for you or want to have an affair with you? Let's look at the evidence you've presented....

 

The only objective evidence that you've presented is that he told you he likes you and that he called you "Love" a couple of times. Now, telling you he likes you does not sound like an indication he is falling in love with you, wants to kiss you, or have an affair with you. If anything, it could be construed as a bit unprofessional. Same with calling you "Love". The "Love" thing seems to me like it could be because of your weak state he feels like he can address you with a term of endearment. However, I would not take this to mean he actually likes you (like you know, more than a client).

 

All of the other things you mentioned in your OP, i.e. his looking at your face and legs, asking about who gave you the necklace, talking to you in a caring way, those are all completely subjective. There are many number of reasons he could have done those things. And those are all things that could very well be in your mind. Maybe he ate bad indian food and that's why he went to the bathroom for 10 minutes. Or, more realistically, maybe he got a phone call or his secretary asked him a question. And if he was, as you were suggesting, jerking off in there (laughable!), then why in the world would you want to get involved with someone who does that? I don't know though, that's not for me to judge.

 

It sounds like you have spent a lot of time with your lawyer in the last year and it's easy to see how in your emotionally turmoiled state, you would construe those instances as evidence of him having feelings. However, he is NOT in an emotionally turmoiled state, he is doing his job. You are just a client to him, perhaps he cares about you in the sense that a vet grows to care for an injured animal, but I wouldn't read anything further into his actions. Spare yourself the embarrassment. And when I say you are just a client, I mean that in an objective way. You are his client, he is your lawyer. Those are the facts.

 

In conclusion, NO, from the details you included in your OP and your subsequent posts in this thread, all of which I read, it does not sound like he wants to have an affair with you or has feelings for you. It sounds more likely that you are projecting your own desires onto the situation. That being said, as others have said, you are the only one who is actually living this experience, so it is quite near impossible to tell you what he is thinking.

 

To me, it seems, as others have told you in not the kindest way, that you need to focus on getting yourself well. If this man wants to kiss you or have an affair with you, then he will caress your face, look you in the eyes and then actually try to kiss you. That right there or him saying "I have developed feelings for you" or "I want to kiss you" would be actual evidence that he has those feelings. Anything short of that is just your own imaginings.

 

(NOTE: I have tried to be as objective as possible in my response to your post and purposely avoided making any judgments on whether or not you should have an affair, other posters have got that covered. So I hope this is what you are looking for OP in terms of advice.)

 

Best of luck!

 

Thanks for your reply.

 

The only objective evidence that you've presented is that he told you he likes you and that he called you "Love" a couple of times. Now, telling you he likes you does not sound like an indication he is falling in love with you, wants to kiss you, or have an affair with you. If anything, it could be construed as a bit unprofessional. Same with calling you "Love". The "Love" thing seems to me like it could be because of your weak state he feels like he can address you with a term of endearment. However, I would not take this to mean he actually likes you (like you know, more than a client).

 

He said he liked me almost a year ago, and was serious about it as he looked me right in my eyes. I was a bit shocked and surprised! Ya, calling me "Love" is a term of endearment. However, one day I was speaking to him on the phone, and he asked if anyone else was there, which there wasn't. He was saying goodbye and called me "Love" then. Did he want anyone else to hear him call me that? These are two instances you have picked out of an entire load of instances I have had with him though, and if they are taking out alone and discussed like you did, anyone would say he would be a bit unprofessional, but to look at the whole picture.

 

All of the other things you mentioned in your OP, i.e. his looking at your face and legs, asking about who gave you the necklace, talking to you in a caring way, those are all completely subjective. There are many number of reasons he could have done those things. And those are all things that could very well be in your mind. Maybe he ate bad indian food and that's why he went to the bathroom for 10 minutes. Or, more realistically, maybe he got a phone call or his secretary asked him a question. And if he was, as you were suggesting, jerking off in there (laughable!), then why in the world would you want to get involved with someone who does that? I don't know though, that's not for me to judge.

 

No, he didn't have bad indian food as I had a meeting with him in the morning. He didn't get a phone call, as his phone never rang, didn't go to his secretary. His bathroom ir directly beside his office, and he went into the bathroom, and wasn't on the phone, as I would have heard him talking. Just say he did go in to jerk off, why would he do that?

 

it does not sound like he wants to have an affair with you or has feelings for you. It sounds more likely that you are projecting your own desires onto the situation. That being said, as others have said, you are the only one who is actually living this experience, so it is quite near impossible to tell you what he is thinking.

 

No, I am definately not projecting my own desires onto the situation. He wasn't this way with me at the start, and then a year ago he changed.

 

If this man wants to kiss you or have an affair with you, then he will caress your face, look you in the eyes and then actually try to kiss you. That right there or him saying "I have developed feelings for you" or "I want to kiss you" would be actual evidence that he has those feelings. Anything short of that is just your own imaginings.

 

I was in his office and he told me in a serious way that he liked me, and he was serious, he looked me in the eye, and was also definately nervous. Thats exactly what happened.

 

I really appreciate your reply, and your advice, it was great

[I'msolostatthemoment]

I honestly think you are reaching...

I am sure that lawyers and their clients develop a little bit of a bond over time, working together. From what I read, you seem to be projecting your feelings for him onto nothing more than a professional relationship that may seem a little bit friendly at times, but I don't see where he's done anything wrong. You are probably looking for comfort in the man you've become somewhat close to over time... comfort in somehow gaining feelings of self-worth and adequacy at the thought of him wanting you. If he wanted to make a move, I believe he would have done it by now. Looking at your face is no indicator that he is in love with you. If that were the case, the man I work with (a lawyer) who I just had a friendly lunch with must be in love with me, too... he also compliments my manner of dress from time to time, and looks at my face when he talks to me. I am under no impression that he wants me, as I know he is happily married with a new child. We are friends. I honestly just think you want to be loved, or at the very least, desired by someone...I think it's your way of comforting yourself through a difficult time. You have other options out there, besides this man. I think you should do some "you time" and then maybe give dating some available men a try.

 

I have been seriously ill, but am not delusional or imagining any of this! I mean that in a respectful way to you. I am a very confident woman, have loads of self esteam, and I like who I am (I'm not arrogant though). I do not have the need for a man, nor do I have the need to seek a man who would comfort me, honestly.

 

My guy friends are much the same as what you have described above as well, but they have not been how my lawyer has been.

 

I definately do not feel the need to be desired by someone, I'm very independant, and love my own space. I don't even want to get married as I am so independant!

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Thank you to all replies I received, and your contributions.

 

Would anyone be able to answer my questions on my first post, it would be helpful, cheers guys

[venusianx13]

I have been seriously ill, but am not delusional or imagining any of this! I mean that in a respectful way to you. I am a very confident woman, have loads of self esteam, and I like who I am (I'm not arrogant though). I do not have the need for a man, nor do I have the need to seek a man who would comfort me, honestly.

 

My guy friends are much the same as what you have described above as well, but they have not been how my lawyer has been.

 

I definately do not feel the need to be desired by someone, I'm very independant, and love my own space. I don't even want to get married as I am so independant!

 

 

Okay, I never said you were imagining anything... I just said that from an outside perspective, you seem to be projecting your desires onto a situation that seems a bit more innocent than you'd like to believe it is. This is my perception. If you disagree, that's your prerogative, and do what you will with the advice people give to you... it seems like you're here only to reaffirm what you WANT to hear, and that is: that he wants you.

 

So, good luck with that.

[venusianx13]

No disrespect intended.

[It's Just Me]

Everything he has done so far is called grooming. It's what pedophiles do with vulnerable kids.

 

He has done it before, and will do it again, because he knows a victim when he sees one. Whether he's a doctor, lawyer, teacher or psychiatrist is immaterial. He's coming from a position of power, and therefore his behaviour and manipulation of you is utterly despicable.

 

We can see it, and we're all saying the same thing. Why can't you?

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Okay, I never said you were imagining anything... I just said that from an outside perspective, you seem to be projecting your desires onto a situation that seems a bit more innocent than you'd like to believe it is. This is my perception. If you disagree, that's your prerogative, and do what you will with the advice people give to you... it seems like you're here only to reaffirm what you WANT to hear, and that is: that he wants you.

 

So, good luck with that.

 

Thanks for your reply . No disrespect intended to you at all to you, I do appreciate your opinion, so thank you

 

My situation is a really really difficult one I have found myself in. He is my lawyer, and he is married, and I have ended up liking him, something I never intended on happening at all, but it has happened, which I do feel really bad about as he is married.

 

I have included alot of detail in my first post, but there are some other things that a guy cannot pretend or fake with regards to a woman such as -

 

His body lanuage. He mirrors my behaviour, or movements I do. He always looks me in the eye when speaking to me. His pupils did get dilated when I looked in his eyes.

 

He displayed signs of nervousness around me. Fidgetting, moving around his office, which was unlike him. He also had sweaty hands when I shook hands with him.

 

When I spoke to him on the phone when I was very seriously ill, he was genuinely concerned I could hear it in his voice, and I don't believe it was fake, or anything like that.

 

When he told me he liked me, he looked me in the eye, he was nervous, and I do think it was genuine. (This was a year ago)

 

Body lanuage communicates alot from someone, and I am very aware of that, and notice it with him, as its something that cannot be pretended.

 

 

I really appreciate everyones input into my situation, and I do agree with you all that as a married man his behavior is wrong, and also as a lawyer. On saying that, because I like him, as with anyone, a person can be a little blinded by the entire thing, which is what may have happened to me. However, I am looking at this as objectively as possible, and examining the facts to try to understand him, so I can reach a better conclusion, and how to deal with it.

 

The facts are in my first post, and above also. I guess what I am trying to figure out in all honesty, if it is possible that he could genuinely like me, and not just out for sex? Is this, or would this be possible give the facts I have all told you?

 

I am living in this situation, and have observed him etc, and I don't think its fake or anything like that, as this has been soing on for a year, and he continues the same way.

 

If he was a "Player" and just out for sex, he would have made his move by now, or implied he wanted sex, and he has never done that.

 

What do you guys think? I really really appreciate all your advice, it is helping me alot and making me think a little clearer, honestly, so thanks you guys

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Another thing which is quite interesting is that, recently when I had meetings with him, he has started to wear his wedding ring, and for the past year and a half, he never wore it?