Second chance from Iraq????

[derrick231]

Me and my gf broke up in Feb. I'm in the Marine Corps and am currently in Iraq. I was the person to brake it off b/c we had planned to get married in July and I got scared that since we have only had a LDR for 2 yrs now, and that we haven't been together but only a month and a half since I joined the military.. Well time did its toll and hurt us. Every time we would see each other we would get close, but as soon as we were apart, it was almost like we never were really together.

So I broke it off and we have only talked on and off since.. I realized that I really did love her very much and I would love to get back with her.. Now she knows that I feel like that. Well it seems like sometimes when we talk everything will be fine. And then now recently she's been nothing but just mad over almost anything she can find... She's blaming all our problems on me, and I've told her I'm sorry and that I have learned from my mistakes.

Well now she is going out all the time to clubs and meeting people, even dated a few guys. She's told me that. She was telling me how a singer from a band at this concert was hitting on her and she gave her # out. Well I didn't freak out but I still don't like knowing all that stuff...Is she just trying to make me hurt now?? I would do anything for a chance to get back what we had. If I came home, and we saw each other, I could almost promise it would do us good. Only problem now is I'm in Iraq for a few more months. She is now upset at me telling me that someone told her something I did, I told her instead of believing it ang getting mad that she should confront me. She won't tell me what she heard...I almost think she is making it up.. She told me today she didn't want to talk, so I said ok and I hung up the phone. She writes me an email saying we were supposed to get married in 5 days. and that I really screwed up everything for her.. I just want her back but I cant seem to get her to give me a chance to prove I can do better...I need any tips available...I

[Fayebelle]

Oh Derrick -I feel your pain. I really do.

 

My ex and I dated for over 3 years- 2 of which he was a member of the 173d Airborne division. He spent over a year in Iraq and during that time I would go months w/ no word b/c he was in combat and had no way of contacting me. During that time so much happened for me and him that we just really couldn't support each other with b/c the distance literally made it impossible. I became very frustrated and last Dec I decided to move on.

 

I don't know how much this will help you- but had I not met my current BF in Jan - I would have gone back to my ex as soon as he was available for me. The hurtful stories she tells are probally just her way of letting you know she still has a life to live here without you. It is sad and frustrating to be without someone you love.

 

My ex and I have stayed very close (after some no contact time for him to lick his wounds) and now he is coming back to the states to teach at a training school. Last week he and my current BF had a slight altercation on the phone (he told my BF that he'd "destroy" him if he ever hurt me) and all I could think was that if he had shown that much concern for me when he was gone we would still be together.

 

I love my BF and I think things worked out best for me in the end- but I would have been happy w/my ex also- IF he could have only found a way to show his love and commitment even when he was gone.

 

Let her know you understand how hard this is for her and that times are painful for you also- then COMMUNICATE- every chance you get. I can not stress how important communication is to a woman- ESPECIALLY when you are apart.

 

Good Luck and God Bless- for what it's worth I am proud of you and the sacrifices soldiers everywhere make to perform a duty most are loathe to imagine. You truly are a hero.