Msgarcia000 Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Hello all!! My boyfriend hasnt really given me a reason to doubt him at all. But my constant snooping at his e-mail and phone is killing me. The anxiety is not doing me any good. I feel as though he's trustworthy but then there are those "what if?".... I'd hate to be wasting my precious time right now in someone who doesn't deserve it....am hating myself for feeling this way but I do! so....any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
durentu Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 learn how to be independent. learn how to invest in yourself so that you don't need to depend on others to the point of micromanaging them or spying on them. Trust and love are not for the cowards. Only the brave can love. Link to post Share on other sites
Leelou Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Hello all!! My boyfriend hasnt really given me a reason to doubt him at all. But my constant snooping at his e-mail and phone is killing me. The anxiety is not doing me any good. I feel as though he's trustworthy but then there are those "what if?".... I'd hate to be wasting my precious time right now in someone who doesn't deserve it....am hating myself for feeling this way but I do! so....any advice? You just have gotta trust - until he gives you a reason NOT to! The way you do it is you relax, and when you get an urge to snoop, you talk to yourself ,you tell yourself not to do it, and then tell yourself that you DO trust him. Find something to do immediately or go be near him so you can't be snooping. I've been told that an issue with Trust could be an issue of Control... could this apply to you? Do you have control issues? Link to post Share on other sites
Sebastian76 Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 To stop snooping once you've opened up the can of worms, is really difficult. What I have done, that seems to work for me is to keep track of my snooping in my calendar. If I snooped I have to put in a little sad smiley for that day. It motivates me to keep as long a stretch of successes as possible. The good thing is that the longer you keep it up, the easier it gets. You'll still get a strong urge once in while to do it, but then try to make it a rule that go for a walk first, to get your impulses in control. I have snooped and I learned about an ex cheating this way, so it is not always wrong to do. But I had probably course indeed, which is the only time you should even consider it. Snooping is a product of being a control freak, which in turn comes from a place of low self esteem and insecurities. The problem is that you looses even more self esteem snooping on your loved one. In the end it will turn out as a self fulfilling prophesy. You might want to talk to a shrink and try to work on the deeper reasons for your behaviour. Best, -- Seb Link to post Share on other sites
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