Re: classic story...help!!

[Tony T]

Nothing you do makes any logical sense. You were having a rocky relationship with your bf, yet you were unwilling to end that to pursue a relationship with a friend you had real feelings before. That is pretty baffling.

 

Now, you are not in a relationship so it is real convenient to think about your old friend. I am proud of you for not trying to interfere with his life now.

 

It doesn't really matter whether both of you have feelings for each other right now. He would be convenient for you if he wasn't engaged but he is. And he's not about to take a gamble on breaking up with his fiance to explore things with you...the lady who preferred to stay in a rocky relationship rather than explore something you felt good about. Furthermore, you would not want a guy who was so insane he would get engaged to a girl he did not have strong feelings for.

 

You are doing the right thing by staying out of this. I do admire your loyalty a great deal, although it is misplaced at times. I hope you will consider just being loyal to relationships that hold hope and that are fulfilling. When you are seeing someone who obviously is wrong for you, cut your losses short and move on. You lost out on this one.

 

Handle this by wishing your friend well and moving on with your life. You are vulnerable now but you don't need to mess with your old friend's life. Avoid him for now. Allow him to let the love between him and his fiance grow and let their relationship ripen and prosper.

 

You will find someone right for you and they will be lucky. A lady who hangs in there through thick and thin is hard to find...but don't let yourself be treated poorly by any man.

[Deejette]

The thing that bothers me is that the guy you are intrigued with is supposedly with someone just to be with her. That is not a very good picture of him.

 

Also, it wasn't very loyal of him to declare his feelings for you behind his friend's back. If he had any gumption, he would take the whole thing out in the open and not go into a rebound engagement because he could not be with you. He is not showing any strength or determination to make the relationship with you work.

Nothing you do makes any logical sense. You were having a rocky relationship with your bf, yet you were unwilling to end that to pursue a relationship with a friend you had real feelings before. That is pretty baffling. Now, you are not in a relationship so it is real convenient to think about your old friend. I am proud of you for not trying to interfere with his life now. It doesn't really matter whether both of you have feelings for each other right now. He would be convenient for you if he wasn't engaged but he is. And he's not about to take a gamble on breaking up with his fiance to explore things with you...the lady who preferred to stay in a rocky relationship rather than explore something you felt good about. Furthermore, you would not want a guy who was so insane he would get engaged to a girl he did not have strong feelings for.

 

You are doing the right thing by staying out of this. I do admire your loyalty a great deal, although it is misplaced at times. I hope you will consider just being loyal to relationships that hold hope and that are fulfilling. When you are seeing someone who obviously is wrong for you, cut your losses short and move on. You lost out on this one. Handle this by wishing your friend well and moving on with your life. You are vulnerable now but you don't need to mess with your old friend's life. Avoid him for now. Allow him to let the love between him and his fiance grow and let their relationship ripen and prosper. You will find someone right for you and they will be lucky. A lady who hangs in there through thick and thin is hard to find...but don't let yourself be treated poorly by any man.

[angel]

Story goes...I knew this guy all through

high school, have been friends with him for yrs. He tells me after yrs of friendship he has always had feelings for me..telling me he has known I was the one for him all along. I had a bf of a long time which whom he knew. My bf had no idea how this guy felt about me. I started having feelings for this guy, but refused to break-up with my bf. (I never cheated, kissed, touched nor hung out with this guy alone anywhere except seeing him in public) but was haunted by the fact that this guy had feelings for me, even telling me he loved me at one point. My relationship with my bf was always rocky..but I never intertwined the two situations. Time went on and it got to the point where I fell in love with this guy before I even knew it. This guy told me he would wait for me and pursued me for a year b/c he knew I wasn't happy. I couldn't handle the situation and I loved my bf so I stopped talking to the guy, I didn't even talk to him as a friend. I moved in with my bf and the other guy got engaged to someone after 4 mnths. My relationship ended a long while after me and the guy stopped talking...our relationship was troubled for the last two yrs. The other guy knows I am not with my bf anymore. When I see this guy he looks at me the same..as if I can read his mind as his unsuspecting fiance stands next to him. It seems we still have those feelings for eachother and it confuses me..I dont want to pursue this b/c I will not come between him and his now fiance. Something in my gut tells me that I am right about his feelings for me. We haven't spoke about this situation since I told him that we couldn't talk anymore, but we still talk when we see eachother and when we do..there is something between us. His friends have said that they believe he won't marry her b/c he is just with her to be with someone ( I didn't ask about him..just heard them talking about him) Am I crazy for thinking this stuff..I am not a needy person and couldn't be bothered with any guys or relationships but this is eating me up inside, how do I handle this?

 

i think you need to confront him with you feelings, if he wants to be with his fiance he will explain that to you and know harm done but if he is your soul mate you don't want to miss the oportunity.if you both decide to continue with a relationship together and one of you wants out at least you both will not be wondering "what if?"there is such thing as a rebound relationship but it does not happen to everyone-i am living proof