nyce456 Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Hey guys. So for a few months I was hooking up with my co-worker and things I feel were going well. We both agreed that the relationship was casual and fun, no strings attach or anything. Honestly, I am ok with that and expressed that to her. About two weeks ago we went out and she informed me that we should keep it a friends but then she goes on to tell me how much she really really likes me and I make her feel comfortable. She asks what do I expect and see it going. I told her straight up that I would like to keep it going and see what happens b/c you can't predict the future. We ended up hooking up that night and a few more times there after. Fast-forward, she contacts me this Sunday and tell me she's glad we are friends and can keep things casual. I asked her why does she feel the need to keep telling me this when I was well aware of the situation to begin with. She informed me that she wants to be honest and about trying to get over her ex-boyfriend. Its not something she likes to talk about but wanted to let me know. I said ok no prob. So I didn't talk to her till Wed, when I sense she was acting weird. She tells me she wants to take a step back for now. Even though I was cool with her decision or displayed it, I really wasn't. Actually started to like her but can't force people so I backed off. She explained that she has been feeling so hot lately. I joked and said like how you added the for now, cause I feel that doesn't close doors completely. Anyway, What do you guys think. Do you think she's sorting out her feelings cause she caught them and didn't realize or do you think she's over it. I feel the for now is a qualifier that people don't normally throw around. Had she said friends I would have been done and said moving on, but that kind of messed with my head. I've decided to not contact her cause one, I hate needy people and refuse to be one but does the no contact thing work if you have no clue what the person could be thing. Ugh so confused. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 She likes you more than just a friend with benefits. When people repeatedly say things, they aren't really hoping to convince you, they are trying to convince themselves. She wants more than sex with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Hi nyce456, I'm in the same situation as yours. I have known my coworker since mid March now. We started hooking up since mid June. He asked me to be his girl and we started to date even though we worked together. But after a week, it went out of control cos he wanted to have sex quite early. I questioned him about it and wanted to take things slow. Instead he backed away and started to talk about how he came out of a long term relationship just 2 months ago. I was unaware of this and got quite confused. He tried convincing me to go further with him but I asked him if he was sure and all. Cos i already was developing feelings for him and i was afraid of being his rebound. He didn't really acted like a real boyfriend with me, there was this vibe that he was hiding his hurt from his previous relationship. So, we tried staying friends, but that was just a fake. I was feeling so much more. And I felt more cos our project ended and i saw him less. We meet again after a week and he asked me to be friends, cos he wasn't looking for anything right now in his life. I tried hard suppressing my feelings, cos it hurt so much. I had to respect his decision and let him heal. We texted back and forth, out of politeness i think he replied to every message i send him. I asked him if we could see each other and he said sure as friends. He kept repeating that word and it felt ugly when he said that. He didn't show up for a rendez-vous he suggested. I again was hurt. See where this is going? He's trying to let me down gently... I don't think your woman is doing that with you. She's confusing you. She doesn't want you, but she doesn't want to let you go either. She likes that you like her. People want to be loved. How can you shut the door on someone that like you ? Last time we saw face to face, he kept repeating me he didn't want anything serious and that he's trying to get back with his ex. And that things are weird between us. So i left. It's true he kept repeating he didn't want anything serious with me. I even said, 'why are you trying to convince yourself?' (what WhatYouWantToHear said is right) Since then, i had a good cry, and i didn't contact him. Guess what ? He contacted me for some job application. We talked on the phone, but it still was weird. Now I'm almost 2 weeks no contact and it hurts like hell. Maybe try doing the same and see how she reacts. You were always there for her, available, make her see the life without you in it. But most of all, think of you and how you should get better and live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I think she was picking up on your feelings, and that's why she was emphasizing the casual aspect. Stepping back for now -- I think she's debating whether or not to continue hooking up with you. Not because she feels anything, but because you do. (Even if you haven't said anything, it very likely shows.) You're her coworker, and it was supposed to be casual fun, and now things could get very messy both personally and professionally. She's getting over her ex, and even if she's starting to have feelings for you, you're in the rebound zone. Your best option is to not contact her and try to move on. She's not emotionally available for a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyce456 Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 I feel I should back off. Yea I am starting to like her but I know when to walk away. Right now the best thing to do is stop trying. Hopefully we can get to know each other. Link to post Share on other sites
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