simplybrill Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 MY ROOMATE.... My roomate is decidedly acting very rude to both myself and my other roomate. The two of us get along great, but this third one, lets call her *B* is just horrible. She's younger than the both of us, yet she likes to spout off and hear herself talk about topics she barely knows about, and thats just the start of things. I suppose its because she's used to people just nodding and smiling along to her rambling. Anyways...despite the fact that this idiot sleeps in her room all day and only comes out for food, or to lounge about our place with her boyfriend (who could do better, lets face it)...she has recently used one of her few braincells to try to screw over the two of us, allow me to explain: she decided not to tell us we would have to sign this important form that had to do with us staying in our apartment when the person came around to inspect things....so the due date rolls around and when do we find out about it--from a notice tacked to our front door the NIGHT before! If we didnt sign this form, we could get kicked out, and she just chose not to tell us about it - literally! The sick thing is...the day the guy came around to inspect things, she laughed about it to my face and said "some guy came around, to see who was here and whatnot" but she NEVER said she had to sign anything...I talked to her that day, the day after, and she still held this important info... Confront her...or dont confront her? I am angry beyond words...she's so childish! There is NO WAY this was unintentional!! Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 You need to discuss this w/ your OTHER roomate 1st. No matter what you need to calm down before speaking w/ B - you said yourself that you are angry beyond words and if she is this immature she may just bait you into a petty argument if you aren't composed BEFORE you approach her. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Are you sure it wasn't an accident? Cause who knows how many times the door bell rings and I'm alseep so I have to half run half stumble to the door. I try to open my eyes to find the doornob I finally open the door and some guy gives me some long message for my mother. I nod and say OK Swear to myself I'll remember and crawl back in the bed. Then a week later when we have no cable is when I'm like "Oh yeah mom, by the way..." But anyways... If you think she did do it intentionally.. then yeah definitely confront her. You have to live with this girl and you have to confront her now before it gets worse. Because then you can at leastyou can work it out instead of turning it into some huge war battle scene which can get pretty nasty. Confront her and see what she has to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simplybrill Posted July 12, 2004 Author Share Posted July 12, 2004 I already have discussed this with my other roomate, and she's mad that *B* didnt let us know this info sooner. Unfortunately I think she may try to bait me into an argument either way, which is why im not going to confront her unless a third party (my other roomate) is around, so she cant accuse me of anything I didnt do. Im sure it wasnt an accident...this girl has major issues Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 No offence, but it's two against one! she should not have the word, especially if she's an ignorant!!! She calls you names? Well, tell her you won't lower yourself to her level and don't talk to her! Then ignore her completely !!!you and your other room mate And learn to fight back and to defend your own ground, for God's sake!!! Think, one day you'll want a career... What if one of your work mates would do just that and make you look bad in the face of the whole world? I say use this opportunity, this is pure gold for your character! If you learn to tame this girl, you'll be one step closer to A Great Career (or ... whatever, just think of somethink to motivate you). Just don't evoid her, don't evoid confronting her! Don't shout or yell at her either, this is never a solution! Whenever I was very angry, I felt like shouting at my ex. HE had the best weapon to disarm me: he would be very calm, very cold and very rational! He would take every phrase, every detail of whatever I said and disintegrate every little argument I had... That would hurt, trust me! And I could not fight back! I simply could not pick a fight with him ! I learnt in the end to push his buttons, what the heck, I'm a woman , but I did learn a lot about having an argument! Link to post Share on other sites
Author simplybrill Posted July 12, 2004 Author Share Posted July 12, 2004 I know I need to confront her now, but what do I say??? Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 First of all, you don't need to think of what to say. If she makes you angry, then act upon her making you angry!! If she telles something stupid, then react upon that! you don't have to be picking on her, seems like she's doing a pretty good job herself !!! I say, go buy a few books about learning how to make your point in a conversation. I can't recommend you any books written in the States, but hey, Macchiavelli's "the Prince" is terrific! Search for books on the art of conversation and search exactly for the chapters you're interested in! Link to post Share on other sites
lnichols Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 Roommates are hard!! I had several during different times in college. The famale roomies were the hardest to get along with. I am a female myself, and I think we are territorial. Our fights were usually about who had to clean the kitchen. Other than that, we could just go to our seperate rooms and not have to see each other. The best roommate situation I had was with two guys. I can talk to guys and just tell them what is on my mind. I always had trouble telling another girl what I thought. Guys are different. You can tell a guy he's a slob. Anyway. When in your lease up? Maybe it is time to find another person to share the abode. Move into another place if necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
kirkyswife Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 Simply - EEW the dreaded housemate from hell - I think with any relationship - communication is the key to success. If housemates don't touch base on issues that ultimately affect the household then this situation will fester like a pimple under the skin (aching and cosmetically unattractive) until it finally comes to a head. You have to nip these things in the bud - put your cards on the table and establish some important ground rules and expectations. Call a housemate meeting where you all get together, JUST the housemates and make dinner together/order pizza or chinese and have a heart to heart, establish ground rules for the meeting to ensure an even flow of communication and that everyone's voice is heard. I would start off by simply stating that there are things that are going on that are causing you concern and you wanted to have a sit down to address those and any other concerns that the housemates might have. Don't attack - always let your housemates know how certain behaviors or actions make you feel and how it impacts you. Hopefully you find this insightful - keep us posted on what happens and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Talk to your landlord about a RELEASE OF LIABILITY, where you can have her sign off on the lease. #1, is her name anywhere on the lease? If it isn't then you can have her kicked out for trespassing. #2 if her name is on the lease, talk to her about moving and have both yourself and her sign the Release of Liability. I am a Site Manager for a Property Management Company and have been through this before where one tenant wanted the other out, but she was not on the lease, so we gave her a 24 hour to evict notice, and if she didn't, it was our legal right to call the police and have her charged with trespassing. Let me know if she is on the lease so I can advise you what you can or cannot do the best of my knowledge. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author simplybrill Posted August 1, 2004 Author Share Posted August 1, 2004 Its ok, we're actually living in an on campus apartment, so its not like I can kick her out without an extreme reason, like she caused one of us physical harm or something. Things are ok now, we talked about it all, it was just a misunderstanding. But thankyou all for the wonderful, and very helpful posts! Link to post Share on other sites
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