Emm90 Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 My ex broke up with me two and a half years ago, and I'm still not over him. I've never taken longer than 10 months to get over a guy. I still cry every night because I miss him, I'm lonely and want to be with him. No one has ever treated me as good as he did or loved me the way he did. All of my other past relationships were terrible. I've never loved someone as much as I love him and I've never been as attracted to someone as much as I am to him. Here's what happened... A few years before I met my ex I was raped by a gang. My ex was the first and only guy that I've been sexual with since being raped. He was the only guy that I felt comfortable enough around and trusted enough to be able to be physical with him and have sex. He made me feel a way that no one else could, and made me feel really safe. He was always there for me when I needed him, no one else ever was. And he always made me feel better. We were together for 18 months and we had a rough patch. I was having a very hard time coping with the rape, and decided to go to a mental health rehab center on the other side of the country for a few months (which ended up helping tremendously). But it was going to be too hard on him to be away from me for months, especially because I wasn't able to give him the attention and affection he needed. We tried going long distance though, but he couldn't do it. He was getting frustrated and angry with me (which he hated and it wasn't helping me any). He decided that it would be best to take a break until I got back, as it would lessen the chance of him ending up resenting me. He said he might hook up with other women, and would be open to a relationship if it felt right but he wouldn't be looking. I told him that I didn't want this at all, but I couldn't control him. I said a lot that I was worried that he'd find someone else, and he kept saying he loved me and didn't think that would happen. But it did... He got a new GF while I was getting help and they never broke up. When I got back he said that he loved me, but loved her in a different way. Even though we were on a break, I still feel like he left me for her. He always said how much he loved me, that he loved me more than anyone else, that he was so lucky to have me, he wanted to marry me (he was ready for marriage, he was 25 at the time), etc. But obviously he didn't love me as much as he said he did or as much as he thought he did. Because if he did, he wouldn't have chosen her over me. I found out recently that they are engaged. I NEVER thought that I'd be the girl who would be in love with a man who left her for someone else and got engaged. I've tried dating other people, but I have no interest in anyone else. I don't feel attracted to anyone else or a want to be with them. I want my ex, and I'm never going to have him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweett Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 Sorry you are going through this and I know it hurts. My ex left me a year ago and I'm still not 100% over it. I hear you never really get over it you just have to accept so you can move on to someone who is meant for you. I caught my ex cheating last year And I stayed with him and 3 weeks later he called me at work and broke up with me saying he needed space however he left me to be with her as they are now engaged. He would get angry with me alot and be really defensive close to the end if our relationship and at the time I didn't understand why but now I see it's because she was in the picture and he had gotten involved with her emotionally which in turn he emotionally pulled away from me and gave me his angry ass to kiss! They do this in a way to make u Blame yourself when there is nothing you've done to cause this. I've been posting on here, going to counseling, going to a gym, and i try to do things I enjoy like shop, see a movie, get my nails and hair done. These things help but on the inside is still that gutless feeling. Someone told me it took her 3 years to open up to someone else. It's hard but eventually we have to accept these guys are not meant for us because if they were they would be with us!! Who knowns karma may come back and bite him big time!! Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 (edited) fast forward to him aged fifty...gross looking and eyeing up women who now don't even notice him take up a challenging thrilling hobby to distract you xx Edited August 4, 2012 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
winstonsdreams Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 you poor thing, it must have been terrible recovering from such a horrific event. however it is best to go complete NC and block him out of your life. maybe seek further help from a psychologist so you can open up to new people. i am seeing one and it helps. time heals eventually but you must address the issues stopping you from moving on. i really do hope you get through this, there are good men out there! Link to post Share on other sites
nevadagirl Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 Hi Emm, Going through such a traumatic event...and then finding comfort in your ex - I can understand why you hold on to him still. I wish we here on LS could give you advice on how to process this but I think because of what happened to you you have much bigger issues at work than just still loving an ex. 2 and a half years is a long time to still feel as strongly as you do. Are you still getting professional help? As far as why the exes can move on and do the things with someone else that they couldn't do with us - who ever really knows except them. Most people don't want to work for anything. Once my ex flat out told me he did not want to have to put effort into our relationship. The people who care too much and try too hard are the ones who end up here. Or at least...it sure seems that way to me. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
error420 Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 Most people don't want to work for anything. Once my ex flat out told me he did not want to have to put effort into our relationship. The people who care too much and try too hard are the ones who end up here. Or at least...it sure seems that way to me. Best of luck to you. Nevadagirl, I agree with this 100%. Someone recently told me "You can't clap with one hand". The other person has to want to put in 100% effort too. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Well I hope his current gf doesn't get sexually abused. Then he will leave her too. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Link to post Share on other sites
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