Why do I miss her? Why do I want to be with her?

[SeventhFloor]

I miss her a lot. I still want to be with her even though she's a cheating, lying bitch who left me for someone else within a few days. I just really miss her. Her company, her friendship, her scent, her warmth. I miss being able to escape into our own world where everything was okay. I miss telling her things that I wouldn't tell anyone else, and sharing those random daily funnies. I miss my best friend.

 

Though, when she started hanging out with him again, for the last few weeks of our relationship she would hang out with him every day and barely make time for me.

 

I saw these two pictures of her on facebook, just random ones from mutual friends, and one with her new dude (who pretended to be my friend while stealing her from me) and she's wearing these two different necklaces...ones I've never seen before...did he get them for her? wtf? Their (new) relationship isn't even a month old (even though they dated in highschool).

 

Why the hell do I still want to be with her? Why do I miss her so much? How come, its been a month, and I still lay in bed imagining her next to me, to the point where sometimes, there's tears.

 

Their anniversary is coming up soon. THE SAME day as ours was. I still haven't emailed her back. I doubt she'll be emailing me again anytime soon...it's her 2nd try and I haven't said a word. I really miss hearing from her, even though I'm furious with her for what she did.

 

Why doesn't she miss me? She's too busy out partying every day...when she hates that kind of lifestyle...eventually she's going to burn out. Maybe then she'll miss me... if she really ever will.

 

I had a thought today: I wanted to cut myself, just to see if I'd still feel the pain when I bleed. THATS SO MESSED UP. I need to heal my soul... I just want her to miss me. I just want my friend back. I want her to realize what she did and keep trying to contact me, to the point where she comes to my house. I want that. I don't know what I'd say or do, because she's a cheater and a liar. But I want that.

[SeventhFloor]

She gave me the best hugs. We fit together perfectly. Perfectly. How could she rob me of that? How could she take away our future, when we had the next few years planned?

 

Why can't I ever hug her again?

 

edit: holy crap. i'm being such a wimp.

Edited August 5, 2012 by SeventhFloor

[Sav]

Hey hey hey, You're NOT being a wimp. Don't bash yourself up over this. It's normal to feel this way. Thing is, you gotta do what is best for you. Sometimes, bitter medicine works best. Pick yourself up. It's not going to be easy I can assure you that (I'm going through a breakup myself) but you can either choose to stay home and cry while she's out having fun OR you can pick yourself up and find someone that deserves you. It's your life, live it the way you want because in the end, you're living for yourself cheer up bro

[winstonsdreams]

well for starters forget about the cutting ***t, you have that kind of urge go for a run, run until you are completely gassed. next get to the gym, get a program and lift put all that anger into those reps, trust me it works.

 

what you miss are the things you said in that first paragraph. we all miss those things! we are all here to help. but what she did is not good enough, how dare she?! go NC! love is a two way street, if she did those things she doesn't deserve you. move on take your time, only time helps but you won't start feeling better until you cut her out of your life. if she comes back pleading for your forgiveness then fair enough, until then go find someone that deserves those perfect hugs!

[Exit]

I can relate to how you feel, I miss my ex who was pretty horrible to me and doesn't really deserve to be missed either. It's only been a month for you but I'm at 9 months now so how wimpy is that lol.

[Gulf-Delta]

I get it too man...

 

I still love my ex so much...or at least the person she used to be...that's why we (or at least I) hold on.

 

I want that person to be back in my life.

[Coffee20]

I do understand .

I miss and still like my ex, although he treated me pretty badly and didn't even want to be with me.

It has been almost 4 months and I am still not over .

[Tyler.]

I get it too man...

 

I still love my ex so much...or at least the person she used to be...that's why we (or at least I) hold on.

 

I want that person to be back in my life.

 

Well that's why you still love her. You think that she would stay the same but she didn't dude. It's her choice, she made her choice in being a different person, you may find it to be the wrong choice, but you can't decide for her. Let it go, she'll see for herself if she made the right choice or not. You can't love enough for both of you and you can't make it work on your own. So you have to keep going, just let time handle it's thing, if she realises it, well good for you. If she doesn't, go and find someone who wants you and you only, someone who shares the same feelings you'll share. Stay strong.

[danm]

Dude you seem a really nice guy.

 

Whilst you stayed the same, felt the same, acted the same...

 

She hasn't. She changed, and for those reasons she isn't the same girl you cared for.

 

You couldn't change that, and it is no way your fault.

 

Please don't you dare punish yourself for it. Ride the storm. See it out.

 

It's impossible to hear someone tell you to let time answer your questions, but it will. It really will.

 

Hang in there buddy. She may realise she has made a mistake. She might return, and you might forgive her.

 

But then she might be gone for good, which means she wasn't as good as you thought, and you will both be better for it.

 

Especially you!

 

There are a bazillion girls in the world. And they all get more and more complete the more you meet them.

[Pens55]

We've all been there, and many of us are obviously still there to some extent. Here's the rub...no one can tell you that you're better off now and shes scum.

 

What you need to do is re-find yourself, who you were before your relationship. When you do that, you'll start enjoying yourself more and getting out of the rut you're in. In time, you'll realize that a lot of your great memories are just your minds way ot coping with being heartbroken.

 

When you start having more fun and getting your swag back, you'll have a more realistic view of her and realize "oh hey, I havent thought about her in a while...why? Because she wasnt that great"

[jmjacobs31]

my ex treated me like crap and i still want him back. I want him back knowing I was unhappy in our relationship for years. Why? who knows? I think its cause I miss my house, and my old life, and our friends that I lost in this break up. I mean we had some good times and he wasnt always a jerk but in the end I know I am going to be better off without him. Knowing this doesn't make it any easier, or make me love him any less. It sucks. Hes off with other girls while I am sitting on my couch in my underwear on LS watching lifetime. Its pathetic but I am doing the best I can and every day gets easier.

[Renard99]

As others have said, don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. We've all been there and it's perfectly natural. In some ways I still miss my ex and i'm 20 months out of the relationship!

 

You're remembering all the good things and subconciously filtering out the bad. It's difficult, but if you can, remind yourself to think of something bad everytime you think of a good thing you miss about her. It's what I did and eventually came to realise, that despite missing some things about her, the negatives started to paint a picture of her that showed I was better off without her.

 

Also, be careful about the things that you miss about being in a relationship. The reason I say this is that the first person that showed an interest in me once single hugged me, just once, but it felt wonderful. I began to spend more time with her in order to get all the things I missed from a relationship........ however, this totally blinded me to the simple fact that.... she wasn't right for me! I was 'drunk' on emotion and not acting rationally. Just be careful.

 

One other thing, don't try and erradicate her totally from your thoughts/memories. She touched your heart and that's bound to leave a permanent mark on you as a person. Think of it like scars you got as a kid. I can look at my arm now and see one..... It continually reminds me of the day I caught my arm on a rusty nail 15 years ago... but... importantly, It no longer hurts. These ex's, these people, their actions and the memories that they make all shape us as people and make us who we are. Celebrate that.

 

You just need to get to a point where you can remember the good times but also accept that they're in the past and that the future will present you with new, and hopefully better, good times.

 

It's cliched but true. Time will be your best healer. Just take as long as you need. We're all here for you.

[Sav]

What you're missing now is the memory and you're afraid of the unknown. Everybody is afraid of the unknown, especially after losing something that has been so familiar and integrated in our lives. The thing is, you have to picture yourself being back with her, can you trust again? Can you see building a future with her? Or do you just want to get back in your comfort zone? Answer these questions and you'll have your answer. It's tough, I know, I'm healing too, but I've decided to do myself a favor and NEVER look back