need serious help

[greaze_munky]

well i have jsut had the worst day of my entire life.

 

my girlfriend of 15 months jsut dumped me, but i don't think it was final.

 

i was so happy, i had just gotten my license which i hadnt told her i was going for coz i wanted to surprise her coz she had been having so many problems at home with her mother. so i rang her, and she told me she was packing her stuff to move out. then she started crying and told me she didn't want to see me any more. i todl her she didn't mean that, that she was just upset, and she started crying even more. she again said she never wanted to see me again. i asked her what her new address was and she told me. she then asked me not to come round and see her she was having such a bad day she would call me later in the week. i was with one of our friends at the time who said that we should go see her and cheer her up.

 

we went up to her new house, and she went balistic, and started crying and telling me i should never have come up to see her. so i helped her unpack, and while we were unpacking she said, i didn't want to see you i have too much on my mind i can't be thinking about you too. and while we were unpacking she started calling me 'hon' again. Afterwards we were talking about how much the rent was, and she mentioned that she was now living with her best friend (who she had been in a lesbian relationship with and was the cause of her mother and her fighting).

 

i couldn't handle it and walked out, holding back tears because i love this girl to death. she came outside and comforted me and told me not to worry they were just friends and they were sleeping in seperate beds. i started talking to her and she said she never wanted to see me ever again, i should never come round to her house ever again and never call her. she just wanted to be alone for the rest of her life, and not have to put up with stupid people who couldn't jsut leave her alone. i told her again she didn't mean that, and she started crying and couldn't look at me. i asked her if she still loved me and she said she never had. and that she ahd wanted to break up with me on the friday before when we went out. i asked her then if she wanted to break up with me on the friday why did she had told me she loved me so much and told me she needed me and had kissed me so much. and she said because she was weak. so i asked why if she never loved me did she get back together with me after she broke my heart the last time. she told me again coz she was weak and kept going back to stupid people.

 

i couldn't take it anymore, i was in tears and jsut felt dead inside. i love this girl to death, and she had just said all this stuff to me. i started to walk off and again i said you don't mean that. She started crying again, and ran off and jumped in her car. i went to ask her something and she sped of down the street. The truth is i know her so well. and She didn't mean any of the stuff she said to me. she is so torn up about losing her mother, that she is unstable, so she is trying to push me out of her life. i don't want to go though, no matter how bad things get i want to be by her side and there to carry her if she falls. and if she meant it why was she giving me mixed signals like 'i don't want you to come to my place but i'll give you the address' and 'i don't love you, but i want to make sure you know that i care about you and that i'm not a lesbian'? she's tried to call me this morning, but i wasn't home.

 

i don't know what to do now, i feel like absolute ****, my heart is broken, and all i can think about is her and how much i want her back. i know she needs space and time and i am willing to give that too her. i can't stand to be with out her, and i always want her in my life, but i can never just be her friend. i want her back more than anything in the world. i truly love her.

[HokeyReligions]

You CAN NOT speak for anyone else or presume to tell someone that they don't mean what they say. No matter how well you think you know her. You DO NOT control her feelings.

 

Leave her alone. I know you are heartbroken, but you will survive.

 

Apparently she broke up with you before and you talked her back into seeing you. She may be depressed or she may suffer from depression, but it sounds like you may be suffering from codependency.

 

This may sound rude, but I'm going to be blunt. Your post sounds entirely selfish and uncaring. YOU want her in your life. YOU can't live without her. YOU love her to death. What about her? Do you care about her feelings? Her wants? It doesn't sound like it from your post. It sounds like all you are thinking about are YOUR wants.

 

Just because you want to be by her side, does not mean she wants you there. If you care at all about HER feelings, let her go.

[Fritz]

so i asked why if she never loved me did she get back together with me after she broke my heart the last time. she told me again coz she was weak and kept going back to stupid people.

 

Well, she sounds rather confused and you're not helping (can't blame you too much there...love does crazy things). I'm guessing she's cheated on you? Or she is possibly now with her "ex"-gf... Seriously, let it drop and move on. Perhaps her feelings might change in the future, who knows, just respect them and move on.

 

Why be with her though when she clearly has hardcore issues to deal with in her life and she's already broken your heart once man...well twice now. The drama is not worth it, you're young, you'll bounce back. Also, I'd go see a doc and get some std tests, you can't be too careful these days.

[plagued]

is your girlfriends name eugenie?

 

(joke)

 

Guy,

give her some space and maybe you can talk to her when she calms down and gets herself in order. Change is hard for people. Sometimes letting go is the best thing. It also makes it better if what you let go comes back.

 

[greaze_munky]

thanks for your responses

 

the truth is that i do care about her, more than anything. that is why i haven't spoken to her since it all happened. It may sound incredibly selfish to some people i know. i was trying to express my feelings, not say what i was going to do. i would rather lose her and risk dieing sad and alone, than force her back and hurt her even minutely.

 

I was never the one that talked her round either. when we've broken up she would tell me that she thought we should have some time apart and not speak, then 2 hours later call me, and would call me every day. so eventually when i started to just accept she wouldn't come back, she would say that she loved me so much and wanted me back.

 

And i know this does sound incredibly selfish, but i really really do know how she thinks. the trouble was that i listened to my friend and went and saw her instead listening to myself and staying away. Andrea just needs some time alone to deal with the troubles in her life at the moment, and she said that she didn't want to ahve to worry about me as well. so she just needs some time alone. And i know what she is like when she is depressed. when she's happy she's really happy, and when she's sad she's really angry and depressed. She has done this before and said a whole lot of stuff to me she didn't mean.

 

because i do care about her i am going to leave her, and let her decide what she wants. if she wants to come back, i will greet her with open arms and care for her as best i can. if she doesn't, well thats her decision. i know what i want, its just a matter of what she wants.