Angry with very abusive husband, in love with a good friend, ?

[Rima123]

I have been married 12 years. One child. My husband became abusive (pushed me to the wall twice) in the last two year. Last year I met someone in semi professional context. He lives abroad. I kept in touch over an environmental project (his) that i got involved in to help. I met him for a total of 11 days thus year. He is very nice and comfortable with me, jovial too. I told him about my separation currently from my husband and was very sympathetic. He said he couldnt give me advice because we hardly know each other. I am head over heals in love with him. Can I tell him that now? He is of different country and religion. My husband had turned from Casanova to Mr Hyde. We are in marriage counseling. I am separated and scared of him. I shouldnt wouldnt want to go back to him.

[stillafool]

Why are you still with your abusive husband? Why haven't you moved out?

[Rima123]

I did move out. I am with my kid at moms.

[stillafool]

Good for you. I think you should wait until things are resolved with your husband before entering into a new relationship. At least wait until you make it clear to your husband that you do not wish to reconcile. Also if the OM does not feel he knows you well enough to comment on your situation he may think it is odd that you are head over heels for him. Wait and build a relationship before you tell him how you feel.

[Rima123]

Thank you all for your answers. Really helpful. OM only communicating by email, we check on each other occasionally, in a semi-professional context. I tell him in email sometimes I miss him. He might visit my country for a few days in a couple of months. But other than that, I have no idea how to build a relationship with him, unless at some point in a month or two, to say that I am interested in getting to know him better?

 

Before I left, saying goodbye, he said that it was good to see me again. In an email, just one day after I left his country, he said it was good to hear from me. His friends at dinner publicly wondered why we were not together. He had this puppy look on his face, and asked them to change the subject (it was rather in appropriate, but funny in an awkward way). There were little things here and there. I met him 3 times this year, each time our relationship, friendship, did grow more comfortable. He says he trusts me. I hope that's significant enough for now.