louielou Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Hi Guys, I have always been a keen observer of this site, but never actually posted anything. But today, I have a request for some ideas. I'll fill you in....the short version is, I fell in love with a devilishly handsome married man who was in the process of a nasty divorce. After a whirlwind romance, he moved into my place saying that his divorce was in 'the process' and it was a matter of any day now, we talked about getting married, we renovated my house together....turned out that his wife had been overseas staying with family, and he had only separated not divorced and on her return (obviously wanting him back) dropped me like a hot potato!!!!!....yep, he was a top guy. Whenever I saw him at a mutual friends he acted as if nothing had happened and once said to me when nobody was around "Hang in there, its tough on me too" minutes before kissing his wife in front of me....slime!! It left me broken, I didnt leave my house for months, I suffered anxiety attacks and I lost my job anyway, I found out about six months ago that he finally left his wife for a much younger woman (sixteen years his junior)..... (It was quite predictable, because I recall him stressing out about turning 40, even though I am the same age). Of course I found that hard to take for obvious reasons. But, just a few days ago I heard that..... I CANT STOP SMILING!!!!....the younger girl dumped him because of the age difference!!! So to celebrate this moment of sheer and utter VICTORY for all of us "other women", I am going to send him a lovely email for his 40th birthday on Friday!!...just to take this well earned opportunity to rub it in..... only problem is I cant think what to say....ideas so far are lyrics of REM's song 'Its the end of the world as we know it"? A poem about geting old...cant think of any? any suggestions? I know that its an unusual request, but PLEASE help me enjoy this moment! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm glad you have something to be happy about now. As folks keep saying "what goes around, comes around" Really though, what will sending him a card or contacting him achieve? Do you want to give him an opening back into your life? Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Originally posted by louielou But, just a few days ago I heard that..... I CANT STOP SMILING!!!!....the younger girl dumped him because of the age difference!!! So to celebrate this moment of sheer and utter VICTORY for all of us "other women", I am going to send him a lovely email for his 40th birthday on Friday!!... How is someone else's misfortune a "victory"? Sure this guy is a slimeball and "what comes around goes around", but sending him something will only show him you still care about him and how he hurt you. Ignoring him and forgetting about him is the best thing for you to do. Chalk this nightmare up as a learning experience and move on with your life. Revenge and hate will only eat you alive. Link to post Share on other sites
justcallmesnug Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Don't bother sending him an email. Yes, he got it all back in his face, and I am sure he is thinking of what he did to you and how you must have felt. I would let it go and know that, yes, he was paid back in full. Contacting hinm may make him feel that you want to start something up with him again. I hope you do not! Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I have to agree with the reply's above. What is the point of sending him anything? That will just show him you still feel something for him, hate or just thoughts of retaliation can show him he still holds a place atleast in your thoughts even if they are not necessarily good thoughts. Don't you think that it's worse on him if he thinks that you do not think of him whatsoever (specially on his b-day) that he's a nobody in your life now!!! If he's going through heartbreak right now maybe he will even think about how selfish and unkind he was with you. When you go through hard times like those that is when you realize what you have put other people through, because you are living it! I don't think you have to sink to his level and make it hard on him. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Don't give him the satisfaction of letting him know you're still thinking about him. Instead, fill a bag with dog poo (careful!!) put it on his porch, light it on fire, ring the door bell and run away. Or, modified version-take a stick and apply some of the above mentioned poo (careful!!) and rub it on the bottom of his doorhandles to his house. Including his car. Hey. Can't be nice all the time. And revenge is a dish best served cold. Happy 40th, you disgusting pigscum!! Here's some poop. Link to post Share on other sites
heavensent Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Sorry that you had to go through all that. Although I think that it would be best to not send him anything at all. Think of how it would make you feel to not get anything for your birthday. He will feel that you have gotten over him and is not spending one minute thinking of him. Sending him something will only show him that you gave him the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author louielou Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Thanks everyone for your advice. I hadnt seen sending him an email as opening any doors, but now you put it that way....I agree What has made it tough is that we work in the same industry and often have to see each other and talk business. I have no control over it unless I leave my job or move. He talks to me now as if nothing ever happened, no matter how uncomfortable I am about it. When I snap at him or give him the cold shoulder he tells me to loosen up!!....I dont know what I ever saw in him Its amazing that I suffered so greatly and he just stepped back into his old life. I felt like I was just a vacation to him. I have never showed anger towards him and now I think he sees me as a pushover. He is always in control...... I guess that I wanted to show Mr. Pondscum that I wasnt a doormat. When we stopped seeing each other, I was a blubbering mess and he knew it. I feel shame and embarrassment that he saw me in such a weak state. I saw that openly having a shot at him was showing that I was back to full strength....I just wanted to remind him that we are even now, we have both been hurt. Although as you all said, its not worth contacting him, even if it is just to have a cheap shot. I guess that its true that anger and hurt dont do us any good, but how do we get rid of it? where does it go?....Its sooooo tempting to get nasty, especially when a situation like this just falls in my lap. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Hellooo....the dog poop will give SUCH satisfaction on all levels. Think of his face as he first registers the wetness then the smell!!! Only do it once though, you don't want to be a harasser. Because HIS *ss meant nothin to ya-please keep your chin up and focus on the things that are good in your life right now, the things you really like about yourself. Actually, the best revenge is looking good-so look good!! But keep the poop in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Oh hey, and you can also practice the theory of Mr. Spock-emotionless. Do not ignore, do not rage, do not befriend-treat him like you would treat a chair. With an odd odour. Focus on being impassive, do not allow him to ask you personal questions and do not respond to his personal statements. Don't allow him to goad you-even if you are just SCREAMING with the need to let him know how you're feeling, hang on to it, let it go here-I'll be here, reading. I'm fairly sure you're still an ego trip for him-just an idea.... Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Hey Spock, sounds like you're doing well....I just love the dog poop thing!!!! ......is it too late for me to send it to my ex-husband.......? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Nope. Never too late.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author louielou Posted July 16, 2004 Author Share Posted July 16, 2004 ok, so I'm a bad girl who cant control her emotions. Sorry spock, I couldnt go thru with the dog poo.....(possible vomit factor) For his highnesses Birthday, I put an envelope in his letterbox containing a brochure discussing premature ejaculation.......with a cherry red kiss on the envelope........anonymously of course!!!! god help me I'm defiantely not going to heaven now, but I felt good. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Ha ha, that's actually pretty funny. Now chortle to yourself-and no more pranks (you get one). Now you can bask in your own superiority....and concentrate on looking foxy and finding love. Real love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author louielou Posted July 16, 2004 Author Share Posted July 16, 2004 god I hope he doesnt decide to browse the loveshack forums tonite!!!! wouldnt that be just my luck....(shouldnt use your own name Louise!!!!!!! I needed a stiff drink after, but it felt good to be in control. So Spock, I read one of your earlier posts, do you still have any contact with your MM? Link to post Share on other sites
Dora Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Sorry for what you've gone through. So far, the victory is his, not yours. Everything you've done only adds gold medals to his victory... becase you are the one who can't get over it, you are the one who is still thinking of him, you are the one who feel pain and want to get even....in one word: you are the one who is being so bitter! Believe or not, he loves all the things you are doing, including the letter you wrote...a man like him, the more you hate him, the more he knows that you care for him...he needs all kinds of attention to prove his attraction, his charm, his self-esteem, his youth.... Both love or hate are strong feelings, he just likes to have you show your strong feelings for him. it makes him feel he is the winner, he has the spell on you! he would have felt bored to death if you shown no feelings(neither hate nor love) for him at all. If you focus on your own healing, find a way move out of this bitter ocean, live a happier life, someday, you will be ready for a healthy relationship with someone who is better than this MM as you really deserve, then..., you can claim your victory! but up to this moment, you have not won anything! Quotes from one of my girl friends: "Two-legged frogs are rarely seen, two-legged men are everywhere!" The best one is yet to come( if you don't waste time on the bad ones ),So prepare yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Actually I haven't had any contact since I basically told him to stop emailing me, in person. I've seen him ONCE in fact, from a distance. My friends scared him in the store-she was walking over with the intent to shake him down and he knew it. Let him stay at home and avoid this, I'm going to continue on having fun like I normally do.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author louielou Posted July 17, 2004 Author Share Posted July 17, 2004 in one word: you are the one who is being so bitter! I'm not being bitter, I am just having fun....FOR ONCE! Its not as if I am making his life a living hell. All I did was one thing to remind myself to laugh at the whole situation and him!....what is so wrong with that?. If he finds out it was me ( which I seriously doubt he would even guess, I wasnt the first of his women, nor was I the last) well who cares, what is he going to say that he doesnt already say when he sees me now!!! he thought he was the victor loooooong before this.........I dont think a medical brochure poking fun at the 'chink in the armour' is going to have him "adding gold medals" at all! Link to post Share on other sites
Megan5P Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Why give him any hint that you're thinking about him on his birthday? Don't send him anything - just sign him up for ever penile enlargement and Viagra mailing list you can find on the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 I'm not chastising you for having strong feelings of resentment. You sent the gag-now go buy yourself a new outfit for work and get your hair done. Looking good is the best revenge. Link to post Share on other sites
Author louielou Posted July 18, 2004 Author Share Posted July 18, 2004 Thanks Spock, I know that you werent chastising me at all!! I agree with everything you have said. I asked if you had any contact with your MM because I read through some of you older posts and I might have well been reading my own thoughts! Its good to feel that I am not alone on this....I just wish that my MM would run and cover when he saw me, instead he takes great delight in hassling me and wanting to talk. He says that he wants me to be his 'friend' because he feels badly about what happened. I never give him any encouragement, let alone be friendly whatsoever. He never talks about personal stuff, he just wants to talk about work, or the bulding where I live etc. I know that he doesnt want me back. He has been single for a while now and has not changed his actions around me at all. I am happy about that, but I dont think that the pain will ever go away....or more to the point, the memory of the pain!! Link to post Share on other sites
kalie Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Louielou, That old saying....what goes around comes around. Or is it what comes around goes around? Whichever. Karma! My man left me for another woman.We had only been married two days before he packed up and moved on. Yeah why marry me right? he was insane. Anyway he was gone 8 months . Called me wanting to come back. Of course I refused to allow him. I was already with someone else. My ex played a cool game too. He had everyone confinenced he was single. He lied to his OW. He took her on business trips and introduced her as his g/f. So for a long time she was unaware. Although it should be a clue if the man does not hand out an address, phone number and he only contacts you during the day at work. She paid big bucks for a PI only to find out he was lying. Some of these married or otherwise attached me will do anything to spread their wings girls. Be careful. Louielou...congrats for the much needed feelings of ........it sucks to be him. Kalie Link to post Share on other sites
kalie Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Louielou, The best way to get even over someone that hurt you is to move on and be happy. Happiness is the best revenge. Kalie Link to post Share on other sites
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