teressa0397 Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 well i need advise i have an affair for 8 years he has a live in girfriend they are like being married i"am married; this man that i have been seeing promise me he loved me we was going to get together and be with me all the time but it is all lies; he has broken my heart into millions of pieces; well i want to get even i want to call his girfriend and tell her every thing i want him to hurt just like i"am ; so some one out there tell me if i should do that ; all torn up Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 What do you expect from going after someone who is in a committed relationship - and staying with him for 8 years!! NO you should not do that. Instead of focusing your energy on revenge, I recommend some self assessment. Why would you do this to yourself and your marriage? What makes you think that someone who can lie and cheat is capable of being honest with you? Link to post Share on other sites
J_weik Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I am repulsed about this im sorry. If your husband knew what was going on, he would feel 10x worse then you are. Take your husbands feelings into consideration why don't you. Just sickening, im sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 so some one out there tell me if i should get even... i want to call his girlfriend and tell her every thing... i want him to hurt just like i am No, you shouldn't. Why? 1) The call will be unpleasant. She'll call you a liar, a whore, or possibly a lying whore. 2) Making the call greatly increases the chance of an ugly public scene and/or your husband and family finding out what has gone on. 3) It increases your involvement and entanglement with someone who has hurt you. 4) She is an innocent third party whose emotional pain should not be used as a weapon to hit your ex-lover (please tell me he's ex) over the head with 5) She may be less shocked than you would hope. It is quite possible that she has gotten calls like this before and has learned not to let them bother her. 6) You'll miss out on a chance to be the bigger, better person. Hope that convinces you...but if not, don't hold the phone too close to your ear. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I am sorry, but I feel that you are being vindictive!!! What are you going to gain from this??? You're aiming to hurt him, but in the process you will hurt his gf as well, and she is not the one at fault here! You are the one that decided to have an affair with him, you are the other woman. It's not your place to tell her, if anything let his guilt (if he has any) eat him alive. Do not lower yourself like that. I know you are probably hurt right now but in the end telling her will only cause you more pain and suffering. How would you like for someone to tell your husband. Instead of worrying about his relationship ending with his gf you should worry about yours with your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
loves2much Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I can't believe you are asking for advise. My advise to you: TELL YOUR HUSBAND. He should be the only person breaking your heart into a million pieces. I don't feel bad for you i feel bad for your husband. I know what its like to be cheated on and i'm sure your husband feels a lot worse then you do. Go tell your husband your cheating on him before you tell your "boyfriends" girlfriend or just be prepared for your "boyfriend" to tell your husband!! Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Originally posted by loves2much Go tell your husband your cheating on him before you tell your "boyfriends" girlfriend or just be prepared for your "boyfriend" to tell your husband!! Well said! Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 Well said! i needed to hear that; but you no theres more to this story you are right telling her would be rong; he will do it to his self; my husband and i dont live as man and wife i just got lonely; thanks you all Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by teressa0397 i needed to hear that; but you no theres more to this story you are right telling her would be rong; he will do it to his self; my husband and i dont live as man and wife i just got lonely; thanks you all well i just E_mil my ex_boydriend told him i wasnt going to tell his girfriend that i no hhe is a cheater and a lier i was the other women ; i told him i hope he fines what he is looking for; the end Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Regardless of the blather that was (mostly) posted above, you don't actually have the right to feel jealous or hurt by him since after EIGHT YEARS you didn't exactly make the moves towards a real relationship by leaving your husband. My advice is to suck it up, and move on. I think that you should tell his girlfriend, before they get married, what a pig her boyfriend is. BUT, to do this, you must tell your husband first. That kind of negates the revenge side of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock Regardless of the blather that was (mostly) posted above, you don't actually have the right to feel jealous or hurt by him since after EIGHT YEARS you didn't exactly make the moves towards a real relationship by leaving your husband. My advice is to suck it up, and move on. I think that you should tell his girlfriend, before they get married, what a pig her boyfriend is. BUT, to do this, you must tell your husband first. That kind of negates the revenge side of it. i was going to leave my husband just waiting on him to ask me; i would had went with him i love this man with all my heart; thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Listen, it's been 8 years-everyone has feelings involved-the best thing to do is first sit down with your husband and be honest with him. He deserves that from you-you broke vows to HIM, not to this other man, so you should afford him the first knowledge. You also may want to get squared away with your "love" if he actually WANTS you to leave your husband. Either way, your husband and her deserve to know what you've been doing behind their backs. But, you can't just drop the bomb on her and not expect your husband to be shellshocked. For the first time in 8 years, do the mature thing, and own up to your bad behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock Listen, it's been 8 years-everyone has feelings involved-the best thing to do is first sit down with your husband and be honest with him. He deserves that from you-you broke vows to HIM, not to this other man, so you should afford him the first knowledge. You also may want to get squared away with your "love" if he actually WANTS you to leave your husband. Either way, your husband and her deserve to know what you've been doing behind their backs. But, you can't just drop the bomb on her and not expect your husband to be shellshocked. For the first time in 8 years, do the mature thing, and own up to your bad behaviour. hey if i sit down to my husband and told him this he would go after that man and beat me i cant do that; Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock Regardless of the blather that was (mostly) posted above, you don't actually have the right to feel jealous or hurt by him since after EIGHT YEARS you didn't exactly make the moves towards a real relationship by leaving your husband. My advice is to suck it up, and move on. I think that you should tell his girlfriend, before they get married, what a pig her boyfriend is. BUT, to do this, you must tell your husband first. That kind of negates the revenge side of it. hey i no what i did was rong i have the right to feel jealous and hurt this man gave me 8 years of his life he should had been honest with me he told me he loved me i believe him; Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Then don't tell him who it is. That's a cop out Theresa. Shame on you. You're not prepared for the consequences of your actions, are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by teressa0397 hey if i sit down to my husband and told him this he would go after that man and beat me i cant do that; i cant be honest with him he would beat him and me Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 No, you don't have the right to feel jealous. For 8 years you kept your husband as the primary relationship-you weren't dating this man, you were having an affair-count yourself lucky that HE hasn't spilled the beans to your spouse, since you won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Well, it's been 8 years-there's no un-F*cking-do you think he's going to kick your *ss any less if he finds out down the road? If you're not willing to do the right thing, then stay the hell away from his fiancee. You don't get to hurt others if you're not willing to accept some of that hurt yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock Well, it's been 8 years-there's no un-F*cking-do you think he's going to kick your *ss any less if he finds out down the road? If you're not willing to do the right thing, then stay the hell away from his fiancee. You don't get to hurt others if you're not willing to accept some of that hurt yourself. hey i"am letting go of this man it is over; but look what he done to me; i see my mistake every day of my life got to live with it; Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock Then don't tell him who it is. That's a cop out Theresa. Shame on you. You're not prepared for the consequences of your actions, are you? if i told him he would demand his name; Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by teressa0397 i cant be honest with him he would beat him and me Do you really mean that? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Ahhh. So it comes out-he's ended it with you then? This OM? Then you need to back off. You had 8 years to make your play for him. If you think your husband would beat you, perhaps you should consider leaving him. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock Ahhh. So it comes out-he's ended it with you then? This OM? Then you need to back off. You had 8 years to make your play for him. If you think your husband would beat you, perhaps you should consider leaving him. I totally agree with Mr Spock! Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock Ahhh. So it comes out-he's ended it with you then? This OM? Then you need to back off. You had 8 years to make your play for him. If you think your husband would beat you, perhaps you should consider leaving him. well he E_mail me today i didnt read it i deleted it ; os i"am on a good start trying to get over him; so what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 Do you really mean that? yes i do Link to post Share on other sites
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