Runaround Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I hope you can help me. My bf and I have been dating about 1 year and living together 5 months. I want to get engaged for many reasons, religious, romantic, and just practical reasons such as insurance and mortgages. My bf thinks its too soon and isn't ready. He wants to talk about it and will undoubtedly try and convince me he is right but you cannot change the way you feel or love with logistics. I do NOT want to "talk him into it" (getting married). My question is this: Is this difference of opinion worth breaking up over or should I wait it out? He may never be ready and I may be hurt too much by his lack of commitment by the time he does decide to get married. (Just so you know we are not too young, I'm in grad school and he is older and has a good job) Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 How will getting engaged help a mortgage and insurance? I think you two should do it when it feels right to both of you. If you love him why oh why would you consider breaking up over such a trivial issue? Link to post Share on other sites
MercyRose Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 I think you need to clarify with him whether he sees/is open to the possibilty of you both getting married sometime in the future before you decide to break up with him. Find out if it's a case of no way or one day. If it's 'one day' you need to be patient and enjoy your relationship as it grows and deepens. He will propose when he is ready. It could even be years from now-be prepared for that. If it's 'no way' then it's time to say goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 A year is fine to date. You're not being unreasonable. I understand. You basically already are married. When you live with someone, you're already married! The only difference is a wedding day and a piece of paper. Plan to move out soon if he doesn't get you a ring. Playing house for a while wont change his mind. You should have made such decisions of living with him before you wanted to take things further. Act now! You alraedy mentioned you wanted a ring. Once is enough. He gets your message. When he says he's not ready, it really means, he's not ready to marry you! Tommorrow, start moving out. Don't tell him why. Just say you found a cheaper place and you not sure the relationship is for you, you need time/space to think about things. See how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
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