Mandy Posted October 23, 2000 Share Posted October 23, 2000 I NEED SOME ADVICE. I MET THIS GUY IN A CLUB ABOUT 2 MONTHS AGO. WE WENT ON ONE DATE, AND HIM AND SOME OF HIS FRIENDS HAVE HUNG OUT WITH ME AND MY FRIENDS A FEW TIMES. WE MADE OUT A FEW WEEKS AGO. ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS WANTING TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM. THIS PAST WEEKEND WE HAD SEX. IT WAS GREAT, BUT IT WASN'T MAKING LOVE, IT WAS JUST SEX. I HAVE ONLY SEEN HIM ONCE SINCE THEN, AND IT WAS AWKWARD. WE DIDN'T TALK THAT MUCH, AND ALL WE DID WAS HUG. I'M 22 AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE SO QUICKLY. WE DON'T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER THAT WELL. IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR US TO HAVE A REAL RELATIONSHIP OR SHOULD I JUST GIVE UP? I REALLY LIKE HIM. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 23, 2000 Share Posted October 23, 2000 Yes, there is hope that you could have a realtionship with him. But sometimes, we meet people we just want to have sex with...there is no love involved. That may be the case here. If he has qualities that you admire and you are attracted to him in many ways, just have patience and things could work out. The fact that is was awkward and he didn't say much the next time you saw him after great sex does not make sense and may be a sign he is a player. Just be yourself and go about your business. Life has a strange way of putting us with the right people when the time is right. If you are supposed to be with him, that will happen. In the meantime, stay open to meeting other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted October 24, 2000 Share Posted October 24, 2000 I have often regretted having sex too soon, because of the emotions that I feel as a woman, the bonding, etc. And just because the sex was great, it doesn't mean the guy is great. Some of the greatest sex I have ever had was a guy that was an alcoholic layabout that couldn't even keep a job or take care of himself. When we went to dinner together, there was nothing to talk about. We had nothing in common except sexual attraction. So, just because the guy turns you on doesn't mean it will be a great relationship. It may just be great sex. Yes, there is hope that you could have a realtionship with him. But sometimes, we meet people we just want to have sex with...there is no love involved. That may be the case here. If he has qualities that you admire and you are attracted to him in many ways, just have patience and things could work out. The fact that is was awkward and he didn't say much the next time you saw him after great sex does not make sense and may be a sign he is a player. Just be yourself and go about your business. Life has a strange way of putting us with the right people when the time is right. If you are supposed to be with him, that will happen. In the meantime, stay open to meeting other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Mandy Posted October 24, 2000 Share Posted October 24, 2000 Thanks for the advice.... I have done a lot of thinking since I posted the message. We really don't have that much in common. He smokes and drinks alot. I don't smoke, and I only drink occasionally. He likes to go out and party all the time, and I am more laid back. I also don't like the fact that he is only 19. I guess I am giving myself advice. Oh, and I am keeping my options open, I am currently talking to someone else. But, here is my other problem. It is hard to tell whether a guy wants to really get to know you, or if he just wants to sleep with you. I am terrible at bringing up subjects like that. I feel ackward. How do you go about finding out what a guy wants? I don't normally sleep with guys just to sleep with them. In the past, I wait until I am sure that I might have a future with this person. The guy I had sex with Friday night, That was an odd thing for me to do. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 You can tell if a guy only wants you for sex because he only shows up for it and hangs around a little afterwards and then goes on his way. He doesn't call you to see how you are doing or to tell you how much he cares about you unless he wants another "booty call." Instead of hanging around afterwards and cuddling, he is off to his next adventure. He doesn't plan outings with you and interesting get-togethers. He just wants to hang around in the bedroom. Thanks for the advice.... I have done a lot of thinking since I posted the message. We really don't have that much in common. He smokes and drinks alot. I don't smoke, and I only drink occasionally. He likes to go out and party all the time, and I am more laid back. I also don't like the fact that he is only 19. I guess I am giving myself advice. Oh, and I am keeping my options open, I am currently talking to someone else. But, here is my other problem. It is hard to tell whether a guy wants to really get to know you, or if he just wants to sleep with you. I am terrible at bringing up subjects like that. I feel ackward. How do you go about finding out what a guy wants? I don't normally sleep with guys just to sleep with them. In the past, I wait until I am sure that I might have a future with this person. The guy I had sex with Friday night, That was an odd thing for me to do. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Mandy Posted October 27, 2000 Share Posted October 27, 2000 Ok Deejette, You are right. But, last night he came over with one of his friends. His friend eventually left. He stayed over and we watched TV. We fooled around a little, but didn't have sex. He hung around for about two hours. We talked about different things. It seemed as if he might be interested in me for more than just sex, but I am not sure. Is that just part of his game, or what? By the way, this is a continuance of a post I made earlier called SEX TOO SOON. Link to post Share on other sites
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