my girlfriend has dumped me 3 times, should i take her back?

[soulforge2010]

hello guys, it's a long story, but i will try to keep it, as short as possible.

 

was seeing this lady for 8 months, things where going great between us, i really liked her a lot & she felt the same about me.

 

she took me home to meet her kids & i felt this was a step towards us getting serious, but after only one week from meeting her children, she just dumped me out of the blue... i was shocked & couldn't believe it.

 

the reason she gave me for dumping me was, because i was not spending enough time with her (at that time i was seeing her twice a week)

 

it was difficult to see her more often, due to my work commitments & the distance between us. i was very heart broken about her dumping me, as i felt the least she could have done, was speak to me about this problem, rather than just DUMPING me...

 

what hurt me the most was, after 4 weeks from dumping me, she was back on the dating site, where we orignialy met... this really hurt and upset me.

 

it took me atleast 6 months to get over this girl, then 8 months down the line, she contacted me & wanted to meet me for a chat...

 

she told me, she made a mistake by dumping me, and she should have talked about the problems we had, instead of just ending it.

 

she asked me for another chance, so she could prove herself to me, and i foolishly gave herthat chance...

 

i have been back together with her for only 2 months now, and in that 2 months we have had 2 arguments, which got a little heated, and she has ended it with me again (twice) i feel like these arguments could have been resolved, but she is very quick to end things with me

 

i was hoping i would be able to trust her again, but in the last 2 months, i feel like she will walk away at any point & i am walking on egg shells.

 

we had a little argument 3 days ago, and she sent me a text saying, she will pick her things up from my place & told me to take care & she hopes i find some else.

 

but today she is saying she wants to talk and try to sort thing?

 

in total she has ended it with me 3 times, what shall i do?

 

if i talk to her again, my gut tells me the next time we have a little argument, she will dump me again

[Samilia]

hello guys, it's a long story, but i will try to keep it, as short as possible.

 

was seeing this lady for 8 months, things where going great between us, i really liked her a lot & she felt the same about me.

 

she took me home to meet her kids & i felt this was a step towards us getting serious, but after only one week from meeting her children, she just dumped me out of the blue... i was shocked & couldn't believe it.

 

the reason she gave me for dumping me was, because i was not spending enough time with her (at that time i was seeing her twice a week)

 

it was difficult to see her more often, due to my work commitments & the distance between us. i was very heart broken about her dumping me, as i felt the least she could have done, was speak to me about this problem, rather than just DUMPING me...

 

what hurt me the most was, after 4 weeks from dumping me, she was back on the dating site, where we orignialy met... this really hurt and upset me.

 

it took me atleast 6 months to get over this girl, then 8 months down the line, she contacted me & wanted to meet me for a chat...

 

she told me, she made a mistake by dumping me, and she should have talked about the problems we had, instead of just ending it.

 

she asked me for another chance, so she could prove herself to me, and i foolishly gave herthat chance...

 

i have been back together with her for only 2 months now, and in that 2 months we have had 2 arguments, which got a little heated, and she has ended it with me again (twice) i feel like these arguments could have been resolved, but she is very quick to end things with me

 

i was hoping i would be able to trust her again, but in the last 2 months, i feel like she will walk away at any point & i am walking on egg shells.

 

we had a little argument 3 days ago, and she sent me a text saying, she will pick her things up from my place & told me to take care & she hopes i find some else.

 

but today she is saying she wants to talk and try to sort thing?

 

in total she has ended it with me 3 times, what shall i do?

 

if i talk to her again, my gut tells me the next time we have a little argument, she will dump me again

 

What a rollercoaster.. that I would walk away from

[KatZee]

Jesus, you've been dating only 8 months and she's dumped you three times? This woman has kids???! She sounds like a child herself.

 

You can see what her communication skills are. Garbage.

 

She doesn't talk about it. She doesn't handle it like an adult. She dumps you like a freaking drama queen.

 

I know a girl like that on my Facebook. Every other day she's posting her stupid crap and then changing her status to "Single" and then days later back to "in a relationship." It's a joke. Work your problems out and stay together, or just end the relationship.

 

I think you see the pattern here. If there's conflict, she dumps you as she sees fit, and then takes you back as she sees fit. She's emotionally dysfunctional and doesn't even care how this may affect you. It's also a disgrace how she behaves because this is what her children will grow up around.

 

Basically, she's not going to change. She has no reason to, you just take her back every time she dumps you, she knows she can get away with it.

 

She really needs to grow up.

Edited August 8, 2012 by KatZee

[soulforge2010]

guys some update on my situation!!!

 

i took her back 8 months after she dumped me, within 2 months of taking her back, we had a couple of arguments & on each occasion she walked away from me, or because we argued, she is ending the relationship "but twisting it around" so it looks like i ended it, through my actions... does that make any sense??

 

we had an argument & i did not text her that evening, because we was just sending angry text messages to each other, i decided not to let her suck me into a text war, so i just stopped texting till we both calmed down!!!

 

but to my shock, later that night i got a text from her saying "you obviously don't want to work things out, so i will be coming to your house on sunday & taking back all my belongings, take care and hope you find someone soon!!

 

 

the crazy thing is, i did not end it? i was letting this settle a little, rather than sending angry text to each other all day!!!

 

when i read this text, i explained to her, that i was not ignoring you, but i felt it was best to give each other just a little space, so we could both calm down & not send angry text, as it is not resolving anything!!

 

i also said fine, you can take your things, because i was sooo upset that she would even do something like this, after i took her back!

 

when i took her back, i was hoping she would go out of her way, to win my trust again, but she has been doing the opposite of that & suggesting picking her things up, everytime we have a little argument

 

i feel like she is playing mind games, by ending things & then making it look like i ended it indirectly??? if i wanted to end things with her "i would just tell her, it is over"

 

it feels like to me, she is making these descions for me, when we have a little fall out

 

do people do this kind of thing?

[KatZee]

do people do this kind of thing?

 

Only people who are immature, lack communication skills, lack problem solving skills and who are highly manipulative.

 

Because you didn't jump when she snapped her fingers, she twisted it to seem like you were the one who didn't want to work things out.

 

Honestly, walk away. This is a high-drama individual and she's never going to go out of her way to "win your trust." Everything that goes on between you guys will always be painted as so she is the victim.

 

Let her get her crap and tell her to hit the road. She's even nasty in her little snide remarks... "hope you find someone soon!" Who acts like this, honestly?

 

You will find someone... someone so much saner than this piece of work.

[soulforge2010]

that is exactly what is happening, every little thing is being blamed on me, she is ending things & then making it look like i ended it, indirectly?

 

why? because i don't want to spend my time sending angry text messages back and forth, that mean i have ended it..... how silly is that

 

i even invited her to my house, to talk & sort things out, she sat there for 5 mins, blamed me for every single thing & just walked out on me again!!!!

 

 

so i have sent her a text, and told her, i never want to see you again & delete my number... now i am getting bombarded with text messages about how cold my heart is blah blah blah

 

i took this girl back after she dumped, and hand on my heart, all she has done is take the piss & made no effort to win my trust again.

 

i do not feel any sadness, as i feel i have got rid of a highly manipulative woman!!

[KatZee]

that is exactly what is happening, every little thing is being blamed on me, she is ending things & then making it look like i ended it, indirectly?

 

why? because i don't want to spend my time sending angry text messages back and forth, that mean i have ended it..... how silly is that

 

i even invited her to my house, to talk & sort things out, she sat there for 5 mins, blamed me for every single thing & just walked out on me again!!!!

 

 

so i have sent her a text, and told her, i never want to see you again & delete my number... now i am getting bombarded with text messages about how cold my heart is blah blah blah

 

i took this girl back after she dumped, and hand on my heart, all she has done is take the piss & made no effort to win my trust again.

 

i do not feel any sadness, as i feel i have got rid of a highly manipulative woman!!

 

Good for you for finally standing up for yourself. Stop answering her text messages if you haven't already done so. She will never "get it" that she's done things wrong. She's too self-absorbed to see that. Continuing to engage will be like banging your head against a wall.

[soulforge2010]

she has sent me 3 text messages, and i have ignored all of them....

 

she only deserves my silence, form this day on

 

i should not have trusted her!!

[KatZee]

she has sent me 3 text messages, and i have ignored all of them....

 

she only deserves my silence, form this day on

 

i should not have trusted her!!

 

We all live and learn. Especially when someone demonstrates the same behavior. Over. and over. AND over.

[soulforge2010]

been bombarded with text messages to meek me feel guilty!!

 

did i do the right thing guys? i felt like i was being manipulated?

 

i did not text her for a matter 0f about 7 hours, because we was not getting anywhere, sending texting angry text at each other.... i just let things calm down a little, but got dumped for it. i did not want to end things..... but she ended it again, as usual for the 3rd time. always so quickly she ends things, over problems that can be easily fixed

 

did i do wrong?

[soulforge2010]

is it normal to feel doubts? my head is telling me i did the right thing, as i just dont trust her to stick around

[KatZee]

is it normal to feel doubts? my head is telling me i did the right thing, as i just dont trust her to stick around

 

You did the right thing. This is what manipulators do. She seems excellent at it. If you have a Verizon carrier, log on to your account online and block her phone number. Do the same with e-mail if you have to. She sounds like a damn psycho. Now that you're not tolerating her crap she's acting like a lunatic! Good grief.

[soulforge2010]

You did the right thing. This is what manipulators do. She seems excellent at it. If you have a Verizon carrier, log on to your account online and block her phone number. Do the same with e-mail if you have to. She sounds like a damn psycho. Now that you're not tolerating her crap she's acting like a lunatic! Good grief.

 

 

 

 

 

i will continue to ignore her, but i have been battling with myself, wether i did the right thing or not.... but how can i have a stable relationship with someone, who throws in the towel, every time there is a little fall out... then on top of that, i just can't stand how it gets twisted around to, somehow i ended it....

 

if i wanted to end a relationship, i would just clearly tell them it's over...

 

every time we have a little fall out it is exactly the same language "YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T WANT TO WORK THINGS OUT, I WILL COME COLLECT MY THINGS NEXT WEEK, HOPE YOU FIND WHAT YOUR LOOKING FOR, TAKE CARE"

 

then i text her back & say to her, i did not end things, we just had a fall out that is all & back & forth we go.... NO YOU ENDED IT, NOT ME back & forth

 

its like a ****ing game!!!!

[soulforge2010]

what pisses me of the most is.... i gave her a second chance, after she dumped me & disapeared for 8 months!!!

 

within 2 months of giving her this second chance, she is treating me like this. is she not supposed to be gaining my trust?

[KatZee]

what pisses me of the most is.... i gave her a second chance, after she dumped me & disapeared for 8 months!!!

 

within 2 months of giving her this second chance, she is treating me like this. is she not supposed to be gaining my trust?

 

Stop trying to understand this person. She's a manipulator and she sounds emotionally unstable. You don't have normal relationships because you pick and then STAY with the wrong people. She did you wrong. You should have been done with her after the first time she pulled this but you went back for more. That was your fault.

[soulforge2010]

Stop trying to understand this person. She's a manipulator and she sounds emotionally unstable. You don't have normal relationships because you pick and then STAY with the wrong people. She did you wrong. You should have been done with her after the first time she pulled this but you went back for more. That was your fault.

 

you are right about this... deep inside i always knew she was wrong & i could not trust her, maybe i was just living on false hope!

 

but i need to look at this in a positive light... i told her to her face, i do not want to see you ever again & delete my number!!!

 

now she knows i will never have anything to do with her again & her days of taking the piss out of me are truly over....

 

if one day in the future she realises i was a good guy, and she wants back.... i will greet her with silence!!!!!

 

 

good ridance