ask ex if she is seeing some1 else??

[Coyoteloco]

Hi,

 

so this is killing me, our break up was 2 weeks ago and had something to do with this dude she met in her work, which lasted one month, and now she doesnt work there anymore, and i guess she doesnt see this guy anymore, but she admited she chatted with him on facebook. So im driving nuts here thinking that while im still hoping she will come back to me , that she is with this dude. I asked her to give me 1 or 2 months before being with an other guy, and she said that it was no problem that she could give as much time as i needed.

 

Should i phone her and ask her this, cause i dont want to be waiting like a fool for she to want to come back with me, while she is with this other dude. Or should i just go no contact at all and dont know what is going on with her life.

 

Please answear this is killing me

[Pod81]

You should already know the answer based on the responses to your other thread. Please save your self-dignity and do NOT ask her. In fact, don't talk to her at all...period. You guys broke up - whatever she does is strictly her business and whatever you do is strictly yours. Besides, what good would come from knowing that she's with someone else? You're hurting and the last thing you want to do is follow your heart. That'll get you into deeper sh*t.

Edited August 8, 2012 by Pod81

[big bear]

You know the key to happiness is not asking questions, the answers to which you cannot handle.

 

Just make a scenario of your reaction to both if these:

-> Yes

-> No

 

You will see how a simple "Yes" might crush you.

[YorickBrown]

You know the key to happiness is not asking questions, the answers to which you cannot handle.

 

Just make a scenario of your reaction to both if these:

-> Yes

-> No

 

You will see how a simple "Yes" might crush you.

 

Amen to that!

 

and even a "No" wouldn't help either (its most likely gonna be a lie anyway --- and even if by some miracle, its true...would you really believe it?)

 

then there's the "its none of your business" reply from her which would just open up a whole lot of resentment

 

You should already know the answer based on the responses to your other thread. Please save your self-dignity and do NOT ask her. In fact, don't talk to her at all...period. You guys broke up - whatever she does is strictly her business and whatever you do is strictly yours. Besides, what good would come from knowing that she's with someone else? You're hurting and the last thing you want to do is follow your heart. That'll get you into deeper sh*t.

 

What he said!

 

I know No Contact is crazy hard:sick: (but for some reason, I get it)....you just have to stick to it coz it makes things a lot simpler. Ignorance is bliss as they say.

 

And I let you in on a little insight I have: LS is not always about asking questions (which most of us do here --some really stupid ones really:o) and getting answers ....but IT IS ALSO IN GIVING Answers (it doesnt matter if its right or not, but it matters more because it yours)

[Coyoteloco]

So, even if you guys tell me so, i dont think the answer is yes, and well if it was yes then even if it hurt like ****, it would be more simple for me to forget her forever. As theres no way i would want to be with her in the future, but right now, by not knowing the answer i migth go back with her in the future. So a yes, even if it was heartbreaking it would make me forget her forever, and help me understand she isnt the one for me. Im not going to ask her, because i dont want to talk to her. But ill try to find the answer to that by some other way.

 

Peace

[big bear]

been there, done that. The truth it won't help.

 

But since in all likelihood, you are gonna ask her, just prepare yourself for reaction to some of these, like:

 

--> I might be, what is it to you.

--> None of your business.

--> Yes and he is much better than you.

--> all other possibilities

 

The answer I got, " At the moment I am not, when I will be, I will tell you."

 

Exact words. And it was not "If" I will be, "When" I will be.

[weallfalldown]

i got "i don't wana talk about that kind of stuff"................

[Coyoteloco]

so are all girls unharted bitchs? i know she wont tell me something to hurt me because i was something really important in her life. but she has become a bitch lately, and i remember the time when i first got together with her, everyone told me "she isnt for you", "dont be with her she is a cheap bitch". but i was yound and stupid and didnt hear what everyone else told me because i was so deeply inlove. So it took me 6 years to get the picture of who she is. Well atleast i didnt marry her!! Even though, i been thinking and the only way i would take her back is if she gets me a threesome with her bestfriend, lol and then maybe be with her for some time and tell her to **** off lolololololol!!

[k100danny]

No you shouldn't ask and this may sound harsh but the reason why is IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. You asked her not to get with anyone for a few months? She is of course going to say she isn't going straight into something and of course she shouldn't put it in your face if she is seeing someone if she has a heart. I would like to think i wouldn't do that to someone but what she does now isn't your business and knowing won't make it better it can only make things worse.

 

I found out through a profile pic that exactly 1 month after me and my ex broke up, 2 weeks after she told me she was still thinking of me everyday and didn't want to move on with someone that she was seeing someone, pictures of her and someone else online that all my friends could see, I could only see her profile pic but that ripped my heart out. I thought it was a bit soon, obviously she is free to do what she wants but we broke up without anger or hate ect and I just thought that was a bit of a low blow really. Fair enough go out and meet people but after a couple of weeks bragging abaout it and changing your profile pit to a very couple type one I thought was a bit cheap and made me lose some respect for her.

[flitzanu]

the answer is yes, she's dating someone else.

 

if you ask her if she's dating someone, she will tell you "no", and she will be lying.

 

this guy also had nothing to do with your breakup, and you need to stop being concerned. she's the one that chose to end your relationship.

[jackiki]

I read most of your threads, and I understand that you are going through hell right now. Everybody does at some point!

 

BUT she was the first and only girl you went out with, the first and only girl you had sex with , and for that matter the first and only girl you loved. Man, you are young and full of life. SO Just think about it, you have the chance now to meet as much girls as you want.

Forget about love for a second, just go out and explore new people, exchange conversations, flirt, have fun!! How many times have you thought about missing out on other women while you were in your 6 year relationship? Now you are free for the first time...(since you were 15 when you started dating). Positive thinking!

 

So my advice would be:

 

FORGET ABOUT HER AND MOVE ON!!!

[Coyoteloco]

Thanks for the answers, sorry but i dont mind being with only one girl, if she is the one i love, and i already have some girls that are after me but i dont even care, my heart is still hurting, and even if im in need of sex (lol) i just want to love someone first. I enjoy the thing of being free, but when i go to the clubs i just think of her all the time, and each girl that ask me to dance with her i tell her i have a girlfriend even if i dont anymore. Im already feeling al lot better, and i think im doing pretty well and moving on and forgeting about her, it was her call so now she must handle the consequences. But i still love her, but with each day that passes that love fades away.

 

I think she is trying to make me jealous through facebook, because she now uses it more than ever, and she tags herself in pictures that are months old, i dont know, i just want to be happy, but this is pretty hard to go through :/ i really loved that girl

 

also i think her family is pretty pissed because she left me. Her uncle came to talk to me and told me that she was crazy, and if it was forever or not. I answer everything with "i dont know". So if she wants to get back together she better make her mind soon cause each day i find out more i dont need her to be happy

Edited August 8, 2012 by Coyoteloco

[jackiki]

Thanks for the answers, sorry but i dont mind being with only one girl, if she is the one i love, and i already have some girls that are after me but i dont even care, my heart is still hurting, and even if im in need of sex (lol) i just want to love someone first. I enjoy the thing of being free, but when i go to the clubs i just think of her all the time, and each girl that ask me to dance with her i tell her i have a girlfriend even if i dont anymore.

 

Return to this thread in couple of months , and reread my reply! Does it make more sense?!

 

you are still in denial, and that is ok! you are going to have some rough time ahead of you. In two weeks, you will be angry. In a month or so you will be bargaining with yourself and validating your actions of NC, then feelings of depression will creep in and eventually you will accept it. It is a bumpy road.

Meanwhile, try to focus on yourself and your needs. It is a trick of the mind, and everybody can learn it. The faster your world starts to revolve around you rather than her, the shorter the road to healing is!

[Coyoteloco]

so NC is good for me right now? im trying to do my best to move on, but its hard ;(

 

I still have some hoope of us getting back together and i really want to loose that hope, but i cant do that neither, this **** sucks. Thats way i want to ask her if shes seeing some1 else so i lose that hope and move on. she is pretty messed up in the head also. I cant understand this, one month ago she was telling everyone we were going to get married and then 2 weeks later she leaves me, **** women, and feel nothing for them thats the only answer. And i should do that ur right lol

[BrokenAnna]

The faster your world starts to revolve around you rather than her, the shorter the road to healing is!

 

This is exactly what I needed to hear!

[jackiki]

so NC is good for me right now? im trying to do my best to move on, but its hard ;(

 

I still have some hoope of us getting back together and i really want to loose that hope

 

If you still have hope and want to be back with her, then stick to NC. As soon as you make up your mind about moving on and never looking back, the healing kicks in! again some people say that you should stick to NC for good, and I do not fully support this. I believe one should force NC to the point where she/he is really determined that the relationship is over. Anyways at that point C or NC become irrelevant

[Coyoteloco]

so last week was of limited contact, she sent me a few text messages and a facebook email, this week is been no contact at all, just the facebook **** she posts. the last time i had contact with her was on sunday, when she sent me a text. I talked to my friends, and one of them talked to her girlfriends, he told me that shes still thinking what to do, and that there wasnt an official decision yet, i told him, well better if she hurry up cause im loosing interest with each day. (I know this friend of mine talks with her and tells her all i say to him, or atleast some of the stuff, and she asks him to talk to me when i dont answer her text or emails)(Also he is gay so no jealous problem lol)

I think she thinks i moved on, i dont know, i would go back with her, but i wont wait forever, she broke my heart, and if she wants to get back together she is going to work hard for it, but i dont even know if getting back together its possible . Im trying to forget get her, but a part of me wants to be with her.