Church

[eleanorhurting]

I feel like I have strayed from the way I used to be and my walk with God and I want it to grow stronger again.

 

Does everyone here go to church? I know it might sound like a stupid question but some people don't.

 

I have been to two churches during the past 15 years of my life:

 

The first one is the one where my mom is now the children's worker/pastor. Both of my sister's are involved in the church but I really, really have never felt like I grew there. I don't really like the pastor and his style of teaching/preaching, I don't like the music, I feel it can be very clique-y. I do not agree with the financial choices that the administration (mainly the pastors) have made. I don't see these people getting involved in missions or in the community yet their kids went to the most expensive private school where I live and they have not one but TWO really upscale homes. I admit my attitude is not exactly the best. I feel like I go because it makes my mom happy to be honest (or it makes her sad when I don't go). I feel like when I don't go I get the judgment of my other sisters and of my mom and the people that know her.

 

The other church I started going when I was in high school and this was the church where I felt I grew the most. I loved it so much. I loved the way I fit in with the people, I made friendships that encouraged me to grow, I went to missions trips, I was involved with the youth. But during college I started drifting apart. I started making other friends, being busy, and slowly I drifted away. I felt like I dissapointed some people.

 

I have tried to make myself back to church number 2 but its not the same anymore. The pastor is gone, everyone has moved away, I don't know anyone. I still prefer it over church 1 and will go frequently but its not the same experience. I go by myself I sit there by myself and I leave. I am 25 and single and there are not that many people in that age group. A guy I used to know from before (one of the few ones left) tried to incorporate me into their group by inviting me to lunch after church but then it turned out he was hitting on me and this made me very uncomfortable.

 

I don't even know why I am writing this here I obviously have so many things I need to work on in my walk with God and there are many things in my life that I am doing wrong. I still pray and I still believe very deeply in my heart and love God but I feel like it is not the same as it used to be in the past.

 

I guess I am afraid of being judged by Christians and I do not like the pressure of having grown up in a church where my mother is in the staff now. It is weird and I feel like it has just made me more rebellious because every time I go to church because I know the sad look my mom will put on her face if I don't, I passively aggressively get there late and make it obvious I am not even paying attention. Lame, I know.

[KathyM]

I feel like I have strayed from the way I used to be and my walk with God and I want it to grow stronger again.

 

Does everyone here go to church? I know it might sound like a stupid question but some people don't.

 

I have been to two churches during the past 15 years of my life:

 

The first one is the one where my mom is now the children's worker/pastor. Both of my sister's are involved in the church but I really, really have never felt like I grew there. I don't really like the pastor and his style of teaching/preaching, I don't like the music, I feel it can be very clique-y. I do not agree with the financial choices that the administration (mainly the pastors) have made. I don't see these people getting involved in missions or in the community yet their kids went to the most expensive private school where I live and they have not one but TWO really upscale homes. I admit my attitude is not exactly the best. I feel like I go because it makes my mom happy to be honest (or it makes her sad when I don't go). I feel like when I don't go I get the judgment of my other sisters and of my mom and the people that know her.

 

The other church I started going when I was in high school and this was the church where I felt I grew the most. I loved it so much. I loved the way I fit in with the people, I made friendships that encouraged me to grow, I went to missions trips, I was involved with the youth. But during college I started drifting apart. I started making other friends, being busy, and slowly I drifted away. I felt like I dissapointed some people.

 

I have tried to make myself back to church number 2 but its not the same anymore. The pastor is gone, everyone has moved away, I don't know anyone. I still prefer it over church 1 and will go frequently but its not the same experience. I go by myself I sit there by myself and I leave. I am 25 and single and there are not that many people in that age group. A guy I used to know from before (one of the few ones left) tried to incorporate me into their group by inviting me to lunch after church but then it turned out he was hitting on me and this made me very uncomfortable.

 

I don't even know why I am writing this here I obviously have so many things I need to work on in my walk with God and there are many things in my life that I am doing wrong. I still pray and I still believe very deeply in my heart and love God but I feel like it is not the same as it used to be in the past.

 

I guess I am afraid of being judged by Christians and I do not like the pressure of having grown up in a church where my mother is in the staff now. It is weird and I feel like it has just made me more rebellious because every time I go to church because I know the sad look my mom will put on her face if I don't, I passively aggressively get there late and make it obvious I am not even paying attention. Lame, I know.

I think you should keep looking for a church where you feel connected. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right fit. Try going to services among the different churches in your area to see which might be the best fit for you. Check out the various activities the church has to offer by looking at their website or their bulletin. You'll find all types of people in a church. Don't let the actions of one or a few sour you from the main points the church has to offer. If they are providing spiritual inspiration to you, if their Christian doctrine or philosophy is in keeping with your spiritual beliefs, and if they offer outlets or ways you can become connected with other believers outside of the service, then that is what counts the most IMO. Expect that men will hit on you, even in church. You just need to learn to brush them off gently and not let it interfere with your church experience.

[durentu]

There was 2 things I learned.

 

Truth and love is not limited to a single view or philosophy. Its everywhere. I see shades of it in the abrahamic religions, mathematics, politics, economics, even neurology, psychology etc.

 

Secondly, church is not where you go. Church is what you bring with you; inside.

 

I learned this after my church split 8 times with a rotation of reverends and pastors. The people changed, the cohesion gone. But I learned that church was in the heart from a rabbi and a muslim. These were enlightened people, not the 6 o'clock news types.

[TheFinalWord]

I feel like I have strayed from the way I used to be and my walk with God and I want it to grow stronger again.

 

Does everyone here go to church? I know it might sound like a stupid question but some people don't.

 

I have been to two churches during the past 15 years of my life:

 

The first one is the one where my mom is now the children's worker/pastor. Both of my sister's are involved in the church but I really, really have never felt like I grew there. I don't really like the pastor and his style of teaching/preaching, I don't like the music, I feel it can be very clique-y. I do not agree with the financial choices that the administration (mainly the pastors) have made. I don't see these people getting involved in missions or in the community yet their kids went to the most expensive private school where I live and they have not one but TWO really upscale homes. I admit my attitude is not exactly the best. I feel like I go because it makes my mom happy to be honest (or it makes her sad when I don't go). I feel like when I don't go I get the judgment of my other sisters and of my mom and the people that know her.

 

The other church I started going when I was in high school and this was the church where I felt I grew the most. I loved it so much. I loved the way I fit in with the people, I made friendships that encouraged me to grow, I went to missions trips, I was involved with the youth. But during college I started drifting apart. I started making other friends, being busy, and slowly I drifted away. I felt like I dissapointed some people.

 

I have tried to make myself back to church number 2 but its not the same anymore. The pastor is gone, everyone has moved away, I don't know anyone. I still prefer it over church 1 and will go frequently but its not the same experience. I go by myself I sit there by myself and I leave. I am 25 and single and there are not that many people in that age group. A guy I used to know from before (one of the few ones left) tried to incorporate me into their group by inviting me to lunch after church but then it turned out he was hitting on me and this made me very uncomfortable.

 

I don't even know why I am writing this here I obviously have so many things I need to work on in my walk with God and there are many things in my life that I am doing wrong. I still pray and I still believe very deeply in my heart and love God but I feel like it is not the same as it used to be in the past.

 

I guess I am afraid of being judged by Christians and I do not like the pressure of having grown up in a church where my mother is in the staff now. It is weird and I feel like it has just made me more rebellious because every time I go to church because I know the sad look my mom will put on her face if I don't, I passively aggressively get there late and make it obvious I am not even paying attention. Lame, I know.

 

I don't think it's lame It has to be awkward since it's kind of like a family tradition to go there. I have left a couple of churches in the past. It happens in life when things change. It can take some time to find one you like. In addition to attending a service, I always recommend to set up a meeting with the pastor and ask questions you may have. That helps a lot. Also a lot of churches will have pre-membership meetings where you can go and ask questions. Finding a church does take some homework sometimes. But it can also be a great source of strength and community. The church I go to is great. It's a large church (7 or 8 k members), contemporary music, does tons in the community, and always had events going on. If I was staying in this area I would probably keep looking b/c a lot of the preaching is very surfacy. It's okay, but I want something a little deeper. But it's okay for now. But I also watch Robert Morris, Charles Stanley, and Jack Hayford to get my theology fix That's the nice thing with the net, you can supplement your studies b/c so much is on-line these days.

 

 

I think when you start the next phase of your life you will find a whole new world of churches to explore. You may not feel that pressure anymore to go to a certain type of church. The thing is you are an adult now and it has to be your choice to believe and what church to go to. That can be hard if a certain style is ingrained in your family though, I understand. But if you are just going for your parents I can totally see why it is making your uncomfortable.

Edited August 8, 2012 by TheFinalWord

[taiko]

Well all but the smallest communities have more the two churches in them. And if one is big enough to support the staff so well that the kids are in the most expensive school then there are likely hundreds of individual congregations.

 

If your church before college, not your mom's is part of a denomination then get on google or that denomination's website and start searching for other member churches nearby. If it is nondenomination they still probably belong to a larger movement, Calvinist leaning, Baptist, Pentecostal, Charismatic....start your search with a body that shares the theology. Keep going you may find a sociological fit or a friend in church may lead you to a body with a different focus and/or demographic profile.

[aj22one]

I don't even know why I am writing this here I obviously have so many things I need to work on in my walk with God and there are many things in my life that I am doing wrong. I still pray and I still believe very deeply in my heart and love God but I feel like it is not the same as it used to be in the past.

 

Don't worry about it. Everybody struggles a bit at times. At least you're not me. I've been needing to find a new church for a long time now (haven't been since 2007). I've been more times to my wife's mosque than I have to church these days. Not that it's a problem, it's just you know, strange. haha

[Feelin Frisky]

Note: Honesty below which may be unpopular to those who have not risked tearing off the second placenta of handed-down religious faith lore. You may want to spare yourself. I do offer alternative sporituality however and know myself to be kind, mean well, and love.

 

-------

 

 

 

Frankly I rather give breach birth to a porcupine through my urethra than go to church. Thanks for asking so I could say that. Sorry, don't mean to be hurtful. I feel that hierarchical authority systems in which people surrender themselves to someone else's dogma is the antithesis of spirituality. Spirituality is my best friend. I don't like seeing it trampled on and obscured by its opposite--blind yielding faith. Only truth unites us where faith imposes conditions which splits people, families and nations. The kind of active spirituality I favor is unfortunately hard to find in any kind of formal system to date because practically all have been "adulterated" by religiosity which is really this thing called "anthropocentrism" i.e. the primitive assumption that the universe exists with human beings as its reason where we made a god in our own image. The science is unassailable however--we are not that important and the universe does not care if we come or go. Getting reconciled with this truth does not hurt--it empowers. It firmly establishes that we are responsible for our fate. We can burn out our planet and bring ourselves to extinction. Or, we can get off our knees, put our heads, hearts and minds together and try to ensure a life for humanity as long as the greater universe exists. The day church ceases trying to fill a head with primitive faith lore and instead lift people to embrace truth universally is the day will consider going back.

[aj22one]

I feel that hierarchical authority systems in which people surrender themselves to someone else's dogma is the antithesis of spirituality.

 

It makes me sad that you don't recognize the irony in this sentence. More people would take you seriously if you did.

[johan]

I feel that hierarchical authority systems in which people surrender themselves to someone else's dogma is the antithesis of spirituality.

 

It makes me sad that you don't recognize the irony in this sentence. More people would take you seriously if you did.

 

No kidding. Isn't "hierarchical authority systems in which people surrender themselves to someone else's dogma" the very definition of LS?

[BetheButterfly]

I feel like I have strayed from the way I used to be and my walk with God and I want it to grow stronger again.

 

Cool!

 

It's a journey I'm on too!

 

Does everyone here go to church? I know it might sound like a stupid question but some people don't.

 

My husband and I go to church together, but we don't tend to go every time the doors are open. I know some awesome people who don't go to church but believe in God, and that's ok too I think. Some people are also really busy (which isn't bad) and are so busy helping others that they don't tend to have time to go to Church, which again I don't think that's bad.

 

I think what is bad is when people start thinking Church is a mandatory go once a week club where people go through the motions and sit/listen to get that "over with" till next week.

 

I have been to two churches during the past 15 years of my life:

 

The first one is the one where my mom is now the children's worker/pastor. Both of my sister's are involved in the church but I really, really have never felt like I grew there. I don't really like the pastor and his style of teaching/preaching, I don't like the music, I feel it can be very clique-y. I do not agree with the financial choices that the administration (mainly the pastors) have made. I don't see these people getting involved in missions or in the community yet their kids went to the most expensive private school where I live and they have not one but TWO really upscale homes. I admit my attitude is not exactly the best. I feel like I go because it makes my mom happy to be honest (or it makes her sad when I don't go). I feel like when I don't go I get the judgment of my other sisters and of my mom and the people that know her.

 

If you don't feel comfortable in that church, then don't go. I understand why you feel uncomfortable.

 

I don't think a family has to go to the same church. My parents go to an awesome little church in the country. However, when I lived with them, they understood when I traveled an hour away to a big church with a huge singles group.

 

The other church I started going when I was in high school and this was the church where I felt I grew the most. I loved it so much. I loved the way I fit in with the people, I made friendships that encouraged me to grow, I went to missions trips, I was involved with the youth.

 

That's awesome! Me too

 

But during college I started drifting apart. I started making other friends, being busy, and slowly I drifted away. I felt like I dissapointed some people.

 

Don't worry about that. That happens.

 

I have tried to make myself back to church number 2 but its not the same anymore. The pastor is gone, everyone has moved away, I don't know anyone.

 

Yeah, it's the people who make the church, not just the building.

 

I still prefer it over church 1 and will go frequently but its not the same experience. I go by myself I sit there by myself and I leave. I am 25 and single and there are not that many people in that age group. A guy I used to know from before (one of the few ones left) tried to incorporate me into their group by inviting me to lunch after church but then it turned out he was hitting on me and this made me very uncomfortable.

 

I think it's time to try another church.

 

I don't even know why I am writing this here I obviously have so many things I need to work on in my walk with God and there are many things in my life that I am doing wrong. I still pray and I still believe very deeply in my heart and love God but I feel like it is not the same as it used to be in the past.

 

Church is cool when it is not a club or just a place to go and sit and then leave. It's cool when you connect with people who believe the same as you and worship God together and pray together and learn about God together and help people in the community together. I hope you find that, because it is a very encouraging experience and a great motivator to help one in one's journey!

 

 

I guess I am afraid of being judged by Christians

 

I'm judged by other Christians. Who cares? God is my Judge, so even though sometimes being judged by other Christians irks me, it just shows me I have to be careful to not judge since I don't like other people judging me... Jesus' words in Luke 6:31 and 6:37 are important to me and I try to practice those teachings though I'm still imperfect.

 

and I do not like the pressure of having grown up in a church where my mother is in the staff now. It is weird and I feel like it has just made me more rebellious because every time I go to church because I know the sad look my mom will put on her face if I don't, I passively aggressively get there late and make it obvious I am not even paying attention. Lame, I know.

 

It's not lame. The issue is that it's about you and your Mom. Once you find a church group where your concentration is on God and your not thinking of the sad look on your Mom's face but rather enjoying worshiping and learning about God with other people, then I don't think you'll feel that way.

[eleanorhurting]

Thanks guys one of my best friends is also looking for a church and I think we are going to try to do that together now!

[pureinheart]

I feel like I have strayed from the way I used to be and my walk with God and I want it to grow stronger again.

 

Does everyone here go to church? I know it might sound like a stupid question but some people don't.

 

I have been to two churches during the past 15 years of my life:

 

The first one is the one where my mom is now the children's worker/pastor. Both of my sister's are involved in the church but I really, really have never felt like I grew there. I don't really like the pastor and his style of teaching/preaching, I don't like the music, I feel it can be very clique-y. I do not agree with the financial choices that the administration (mainly the pastors) have made. I don't see these people getting involved in missions or in the community yet their kids went to the most expensive private school where I live and they have not one but TWO really upscale homes. I admit my attitude is not exactly the best. I feel like I go because it makes my mom happy to be honest (or it makes her sad when I don't go). I feel like when I don't go I get the judgment of my other sisters and of my mom and the people that know her.

 

The other church I started going when I was in high school and this was the church where I felt I grew the most. I loved it so much. I loved the way I fit in with the people, I made friendships that encouraged me to grow, I went to missions trips, I was involved with the youth. But during college I started drifting apart. I started making other friends, being busy, and slowly I drifted away. I felt like I dissapointed some people.

 

I have tried to make myself back to church number 2 but its not the same anymore. The pastor is gone, everyone has moved away, I don't know anyone. I still prefer it over church 1 and will go frequently but its not the same experience. I go by myself I sit there by myself and I leave. I am 25 and single and there are not that many people in that age group. A guy I used to know from before (one of the few ones left) tried to incorporate me into their group by inviting me to lunch after church but then it turned out he was hitting on me and this made me very uncomfortable.

 

I don't even know why I am writing this here I obviously have so many things I need to work on in my walk with God and there are many things in my life that I am doing wrong. I still pray and I still believe very deeply in my heart and love God but I feel like it is not the same as it used to be in the past.

 

I guess I am afraid of being judged by Christians and I do not like the pressure of having grown up in a church where my mother is in the staff now. It is weird and I feel like it has just made me more rebellious because every time I go to church because I know the sad look my mom will put on her face if I don't, I passively aggressively get there late and make it obvious I am not even paying attention. Lame, I know.

 

Many will not agree with what I am about to say to you, and I'm not saying that this is right, it is just right for me at this time in my life for many reasons.

 

I go to whatever church God leads me to. I've been to all of the Christian churches in my area and there is one on every street corner it seems like. Most of the time I stay at home and watch the TBN (Christian TV that has church running all day on Sunday).

 

I stay in constant communication with other believers and receive a whole lot of teaching. Church is basically 24/7 IMO. Fellowship with God and/or other believers is a 24/7 thing.

 

Keep your mind fixed on Him and He will tell where to go, what to do, and what to say;)

[soccerrprp]

As a former atheist, then believer now, essentially, a deist, I can say that it's very difficult or impossible to prove/show that God gives you the answers you need when you need them as long as you are faithful....i've laughed at that as an atheist, struggled with it as a believer and now, resigned to do what I can in the hopes that He will help out, but not holding my breath.

 

If you are meaning to return to church and it's been a while, take it slow, that is, try to find a more liberal church where acceptance is more readily available and you're not spending your hour or two feeling like crap because you've been bludgeoned to believe that God is mostly about hell and brimstone (that would be a more conservative church).

 

Just a thought. Go with friends and most of all, support one another in the journey. The institutionalized church is not a replacement for God, it is run by, organized by flawed people who have notions that are clearly un-godly, so don't be too trusting of church "folk."