jwi71 Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 And I also hope this time he will truly let me go as I am letting him go as well, not just use the text msg to punish my last week slient treatment for him or not asking him again for the Friday "playdate" last week. IF you are done...block him! Why do you keep allowing him to contact you? What are you hoping to gain by allowing him to do so? Honestly...it doesn;t sound like you are done at all...with each "punishing" the other in some stupid game of push and pull. It ends when you want it to...until then...whose turn is it in this game now? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 11, 2012 Author Share Posted August 11, 2012 In my mind I really do hope this time we are done, although at this moment I felt low, guess everybody said here is right - affair is like a drug something, it is addictive. Right now I am kind of in the detoxicating mood, it is very hard for me right now.:(:( But I am so torn during past 80ish days of A, I usually wear size 6 or 8, now I have to wear size 0 and even size 0 is a bit too big for me (skirt or pants). I don't have supporting system surrounding me, so I have to hold on all by myself. I hope his txt msg means he wants to end as well, not some push/pull game for his ego or for me ignoring him last week. IF you are done...block him! Why do you keep allowing him to contact you? What are you hoping to gain by allowing him to do so? Honestly...it doesn;t sound like you are done at all...with each "punishing" the other in some stupid game of push and pull. It ends when you want it to...until then...whose turn is it in this game now? Link to post Share on other sites
MourningLosses Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Mount, you are learning very important things about his character and the way he does....relationships. As long as all is fun and light and you put no pressure or expectations on this man, he is all in. But the minute you have a need you want HIM to fill, he runs for the hills; ignores you; punishes you with his silence and conflict avoidance. Very, very passive agressive, dontcha think? If you actually had a full-time committed relationship with this man, what makes you think he would change? My friend was like this Spark. I know he had many emotional problems and was going through a terrible time at home, especially after his wife found out about us she did not try to be a better wife she just punished him for hurting her and wanted to punish me. He had to be strong for both of us and he wasn't emotionally strong. So I had to keep things light an gentle though my heart was breaking and I stopped asking when he would leave her. He still say he would. Finally I broke down and wrote how can I believe you when you still haven't even taken time to yourself, (they were inseparable) ? That's when he cut me off without explanation. Just stopped replying! I couldn't believe it but now I look back I realize I pushed him too far and probably caused him to dump me. Because I couldn't keep it light. Mount don't let your health suffer. I lost so much weight my hair started falling out and I was skin and bone. Eat! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 11, 2012 Author Share Posted August 11, 2012 (edited) ML, for me even though I am NC mood might be a bit low but I would never make myself going into THAT MUCH DRAMA, for me that is not a human can bear. Remember everything is MM's choice, nothing to do the wife. And respectfully may I ask pls do open a separate post content should you require further discussion with other posters. I do eat also doing exercise for long time trying to have weight loss, so I guess the A does help my weight loss goal I suppose. Guess size 0 is my goal achieved (as I am always into high-fashion), but size negative number is not what I look forward to. My friend was like this Spark. I know he had many emotional problems and was going through a terrible time at home, especially after his wife found out about us she did not try to be a better wife she just punished him for hurting her and wanted to punish me. He had to be strong for both of us and he wasn't emotionally strong. So I had to keep things light an gentle though my heart was breaking and I stopped asking when he would leave her. He still say he would. Finally I broke down and wrote how can I believe you when you still haven't even taken time to yourself, (they were inseparable) ? That's when he cut me off without explanation. Just stopped replying! I couldn't believe it but now I look back I realize I pushed him too far and probably caused him to dump me. Because I couldn't keep it light. Mount don't let your health suffer. I lost so much weight my hair started falling out and I was skin and bone. Eat! Edited August 11, 2012 by Mount Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 Thanks lovely:bunny::bunny:. I would be fine, I tried to relax myself and busy doing things or taking care myself (I made great dishes and ate them all). Yes last few times I went back to him it was part of my choice after his fishing again, and now I am really exhausted, really really exhausted. :confused: So hopefully this time no fishing from him, and I will not go back either. I'm confused. Are you trying to talk her back INTO being with him? She's trying to be strong and it seems like knocking her down. Mount, I hope you are hanging in there... NC is brutal. I couldn't do it, and then I realized that I didn't WANT to, but you seem to, so stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 To: LFH & WWI :( I am doing not good thing (for myself again), I collapse a bit just now by sending the MM a very short txt "Hi":(. Now I am just hoping he would ignore me..... I feel bad now. I'm confused. Are you trying to talk her back INTO being with him? She's trying to be strong and it seems like knocking her down. Mount, I hope you are hanging in there... NC is brutal. I couldn't do it, and then I realized that I didn't WANT to, but you seem to, so stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 Thank you LFH for your support. The truth is the loneliness is killing me. Since it was an A, I could NOT talk to my regular friends for their support, so I am just trying very hard hanging here. I am hoping he does not txt back, even though it sounds me loosing face or whatever, but I know in long term our A can be ended from the will of both sides. Well if you aren't feeling strong, maybe you should turn your phone off, or take out the battery or put it outside in your car and just go to bed. That way even if he does text back, you won't know and when you look in the morning you might be stronger and more able to ignore it. You can do this if it's what you want. Honest. If it's not making you happy then you SHOULD do this. Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 Interesting, before I read your replied post I was viewing the funny cats/kittens video that people post online. I guess the key is keeping ourselves busy I suppose...I will try... Maybe he won't. Now might be a good time to block his number if you can. If you texted and are instantly sorry you did, then you probably really don't want to hear from him. I suggested to another poster that she get a puppy or a kitten and although I got 2 snotty PMs about it actually, but it was an honest suggestion. Some unconditional love, something to focus her attention on, something to snuggle with that she can talk to and know that she isn't being judged for her words or actions. Not a bad idea if you can swing it. Just a suggestion. Link to post Share on other sites
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