Author Birdgirl25 Posted August 13, 2012 Author Share Posted August 13, 2012 I like your rationalization:love:. It's not a rationalization. I'm just stating the way things are - no excuses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Birdgirl25 Posted August 13, 2012 Author Share Posted August 13, 2012 I posted a really long response, with lots of multi-quoting and it was spectacular and awesome. BUT then I timed out before it posted and it made me sad. I will re-do it later but for now I have to go accomplish something. In the meantime, hang in there. Can't wait to read it! Link to post Share on other sites
Brightmoon Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 this is the ULTIMATE betrayal-- friends don't do this! I know what a betrayal this is and I know I seriously f*cked up. I want to make things right or better and I'm trying to figure out how to go about that... It's very likely that you can ever make this right or better, apart form accepting the grief and loss and leave their circle. Also you said in an earlier post that he does not talk about his wife with you. He is trying to keep the two worlds separate as possible and is protecting that relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
jimloveslips Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 "this is the first and only affair I have knowingly been in" You've unknowingly been in some? Sounds to me like you really don't know very much about the men that are in or have been in your life. And that you really don't care that you don't know: just having a man is more important. You already know this, but it's not going to end well for you... Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 I posted a really long response, with lots of multi-quoting and it was spectacular and awesome. BUT then I timed out before it posted and it made me sad. I will re-do it later but for now I have to go accomplish something. In the meantime, hang in there. Hey LFH, you have mentioned being timed out a couple of times and it happens to me too. When you hit the post button or the preview post button and you are timed out it should take you to the login screen, when you log in then it should take back to the page you were on and your post will be there. This usually works but because there are rare times when it doesn't then to be on the safe side, I just highlight my whole post and copy it before I hit post so that if it gets lost when I log in again, I can just go back to where I was and paste my post. sorry for going off topic Link to post Share on other sites
Author Birdgirl25 Posted August 13, 2012 Author Share Posted August 13, 2012 "this is the first and only affair I have knowingly been in" You've unknowingly been in some? Sounds to me like you really don't know very much about the men that are in or have been in your life. And that you really don't care that you don't know: just having a man is more important. You already know this, but it's not going to end well for you... My point was that this is not typical for me. I hear stories all the time about women getting involved with men that were married or had a SO and these women had no clue. So, once again, the only men I've been with were single. Having just any man is not important to me. I am actually quite independent and don't jump into relationships one right after the other. If having a man around was a priority, I'd probably be married. That's just not me. Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 ^as my English prof. used to say "Keep it short, concise, and to the point." Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 ^as my English prof. used to say "Keep it short, concise, and to the point." Not a very good English prof, using so much redundancy. Or irony. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) Not a very good English prof, using so much redundancy. Or irony. we're ALL being redundant here... we're ALL saying the same things. same storyline(affairs), only the players have changed. see... short and to the point. Edited August 13, 2012 by Artie Lang Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 So what if I have been faithful in every relationship I've been in? That doesn't mean I can't fall for someone who isn't. It's not like he's some serial cheater. Yes, this not the way I would have ever intended for us to get into a relationship, but sometimes that's just how things happen. It just is... How do you know? He obviously has little to no conscience about lying. If he's capable of lying to his wife, he's certainly capable of lying to you. You could be one of many. You could be just a link in the chain of several A's he's already had and is planning to have in the future. He's certainly making no effort to leave his W for you (and let's be honest here..if his marriage was that miserable, he would leave, regardless of his A (or As). You and he both know that it would be healthier for his son for him to leave than it would be for him to stick around..an unhappy marriage doesn't create a good environment for a child). Clearly he still has at least some degree of love for his W. Link to post Share on other sites
losingmyground Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I know what a betrayal this is and I know I seriously f*cked up. I want to make things right or better and I'm trying to figure out how to go about that... A little advice from a BW....stop what you are doing now. NC all the way. That is how you make things right. I also think that you need to quite hanging with the BW. DO NOT make it obvious....just be busy for awhile. Then you need to pray to god that the BW does not find out. Here is a list of things that will go awry if she does: 1. Your "friendship" will be over. 2. She will tell everyone of your coworkers. You will either quit or be seen with the scarlet A. 3. You may get the MM, but he will most likely cheat on you. Sorry that you found love in the wrong place, but you can move on. Link to post Share on other sites
losingmyground Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 So, a friend's H is worse than another woman's H? I didn't realize there were different shades of "sins." I'll be sure to look into that. Here are the different levels of sin in an Affair starting with the worst: 1. Being the WS! 2. Being the MOW/MOM or OW/OM and cheating with a family member spouse. 3. Being the MOW/MOM or OW/OM and cheating with your bestfriends spouse. 4. Being the MOW/MOM or OW/OM and cheating with a neighbors spouse. 5. Being the MOW/MOM or OW/OM and cheating with a coworkers spouse. 6. Being the MOW/MOM period. 7. Being the OW/OM. But be sure that regardless of your position, you are still sinning. You are lacking in honesty and integrity. Sorry if that is brutally honest. Link to post Share on other sites
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