The Lost Girl Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] My bf and I are together since September2011. He is Chinese and I am Latin. When we met everything was fine for about amonth or two. Then we started to live together and he also quit smoking. He got mad so easy at the time, but he ask me to stay with him because he knew he will feel mad thu the fast we was not smoking, so I told him I will stay him him and I will support him. Aftera couple weeks he found pictures of me and my ex-bf kissing each other and thenhe changed 100% to bad. He knew about him before even start our relationshipbut he just felt I was a bad girl. He said: "Why did you take pictureskissing somebody? That's disgusting". Since that day he didn't come backto who he was. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] He started to check my stuffs, toforce me to show him my cellphone, to look into my bag, around my room,checking my fb every time asking me who is this (all boys), etc. He neverended. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] I did ask him to stop, that whateverhappen before met him have to affect our relationship because I was honest tohim. We kind of kept going in this situation for months. In the meantime we gotinto a loooot of fights. So many times I pulled back myself (because I knew Iwas right) just to stop the fight. Once he was insulting me, he told me I wascheap and he broke a $20 dollars bill in my face to probe me he doesn't careabout money and continue to course at me. This was in front the house I used towork at with the family inside sleeping approx. at 1am. He was screaming so badthat the only way to calm him down was bend my knees and ask him for God tostop, till he finally calm down for a bit. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] After several months with differentkinds of fight, till one when we even got physical, he kind of stop to fight.But once in a while everything start again. Nothing like the 1st months but wedo yell to each other because he wants to do everything as we wants and hedoesn't let me talk or if I reach to talk them I have to agree with him or thenother fight may come. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] In July I left town to go to 10hours far away, for 2,5 weeks because my work. While there he seems to realizehow much he loves me, how bad he was, all the things he did to me, he evenstart to pray for my save trip every day, he even when there to visit me for 1day. So he drove 10 hours back and forth to meet me there. Finally when I cameback he was really better and he offered me to stay with him for a month, sinceI didn't have any place to stay because I lost my job. So I agree. For 2 weekseverything was kind of find. Until yesterday. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] I sign in in FB in my Ipad and Ileft it open. He checked everything and started to question me again with mysuper close friends and even my uncle (who he doesn't know). I got piss off andI started to tell him I was sick and tired of thi whole situation, that I wastired of being questioned, and he got even worst and he even told me to leaveand if I refused to do it he will go to the police and also he will talk to allthe persons he knows for his last job (military) to make sure I get deported. Ididn't show him I was scared so I told him: OK. I'm going to the Police withyou and we both tell everything to them. But since I am in his house and Idon't have any place to go, I will probably be a homeless in the street. At theend, he didn't go to the Police. He was saying that to scare me. But anyway, itis not right. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] After each fight, he always seemsbetter, but that doesn’t mean I feel better. We spoke about consulting with anexpert but he doesn't want to. Today I've already packed my stuff and with Godwho gives me strength, I will leave him tomorrow. But I don't want to. We did symbolicweeding months ago and I did promise to my God I will love him forever but itseems that I felt. I just want to be happy and normal. I don't mean to be smilingthe whole day but somebody who at least has a normal personality. Who doesn'tpass from white to blue, even to black, one moment to other, who let me expressmyself and listen. Somebody who wants to huge me to make me feel better when Iam sad. Somebody who tries to understand me even when he doesn't understand. Ijust want to be ok. Right now, I do not feel ok at all. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 You can find someone to love you. Abusers don't love you. They feel intense feelings, but it's not love; it's ownership. You are just an object to him. Please leave him. You deserve better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Be carefull, when you leave some nasty stuff will happen. Abusers like the above poster mentioned, see you as an asset, as goods. And they don't like it when their little toy leaves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author The Lost Girl Posted August 29, 2012 Author Share Posted August 29, 2012 thanks for ur message. I still feel so bad... its like doesnt matter how good I am to him, taking care his business, eating food I dont want to it just because I dont want to argue, always forced to be quiet just to dont scale the level, he insults me, yell at me, tell me he hates me, that I am ruining his life...he left home to go to talk bad thing about me whit them, etc... doesnt matter how hard I try to make him happy.... he always ended up mad and angry and out of control. so sad Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 thanks for ur message. I still feel so bad... its like doesnt matter how good I am to him, taking care his business, eating food I dont want to it just because I dont want to argue, always forced to be quiet just to dont scale the level, he insults me, yell at me, tell me he hates me, that I am ruining his life...he left home to go to talk bad thing about me whit them, etc... doesnt matter how hard I try to make him happy.... he always ended up mad and angry and out of control. so sad Abusers HAVE to be unhappy. That's the only way they can blame you and control you. Link to post Share on other sites
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