kizmet Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I need encouragement, After a 20 year relationship of verbal abuse, threats and intimidation my husband finally lost it. It was an idealic day. We were bbq'ing. Our 2 yr old g-daughter was in the baby pool and the kids and I were talking. He got a cold look in his eye and said, " Didn't I tell you to leash that dog." Nobody really listened because the dog was the babies best friend and followed her everywhere. She never ran away she explored but stayed close to the toddler. We even remarked she was a guardian angel because she would pull on the babies arm if she thought she was heading for danger. Well the dog caught a rabbit and my husband appeared on the doorstep with a gun and shot her in front of the family. I called the police: they said a dog was property and shooting it was not a crime. I called crisis and they thought it was nuts and finally after 3 tries to get the police to help they sent the police and an ambulance to take him to the hospital. I got a call to take him home the hours later. What did I think he should've done with the dog? After all he did tell us to leash it and it was harming the wildlife! I got out and started looking . Today 16 days later I agreed to rent a house. I've been packing. He has been apologizing. I know better but I'm afraid to leave especially now that I've actually got a place. I'm also afraid to stay! Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 LEAVE!!! follow your head Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Call your local domestic violence helpline or women's shelter. They'll advise you on how to stay safe after you leave. And I agree you should leave. To go fetch a gun and murder the pet in front of the family as coldly as you say is a huge red flag. Very best of luck to you. Please do call for help - those folks are experts in dealing with this sort of problem. Link to post Share on other sites
lnichols Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 If he'll shoot the dog, he'll shoot you. Get out and don't look back. Get a restraining order if he tries to see you. I'm so sorry that you had to put up with this for so long. Now is the time to make a clean start. Let us know how it is going with your new life. Link to post Share on other sites
mronederful Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 i think i'd stay around, he said he's sorry, and won't do it again, he was just having a bad day. geez woman, take your kid and get the hell away from him. what is there to think about? Link to post Share on other sites
Tabrianatha Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 hi there, your husband sounds just like mine. the bad thing is, i've only been with mine for 4 months. im not allowed to go out, with or without friends, im constantly slapped, and pushed around, verbally abused and im scared all the time. i have no say in anything, and i wanted to leave him so many times, but he's always found some psychological way for me to stay. im sorry about the puppy. that was heartless of him. the baby saw it, right? its sick, how men kiss your ass before they can actually kick it? well, to be honest, no one can tell us when to leave but ourselves. a wise lady told me that and i believe her. and also, something to ponder: do the right things for all the right reasons. im sorry about this. i was just surfing and here i am! i live in belize and im only 17. if you need any more help, or advice, or just a "kid"'s shoulders to cry on, i'm here. i promise. Yours truly, Tabrianatha Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 oh my God, honey, leave. violence only escalates. protect yourself not just for yourself but for the people that love you. i'm also furious that your local police wouldn't arrest him for shooting the dog. what state do you live in? i believe that most states consider cruelty to animals to be a prosecutable offense. sometimes i think some people in authority are just to lazy to do their jobs. when i was married to my abuser, the cops actually talked me out of pressing charges one night when he tried to choke me and he beat my face black and blue and put a gash in my forehead after a drinking binge. i'm a smaller woman and this is a towering and powerful guy too. the reason they urged me not to press charges? because he was getting out of the navy in less than two weeks and i didn't wanna mess up his military record did i? oh, and get this: they had to by law take pictures of my face for the files. Link to post Share on other sites
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