beth88 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I need advise badly concerning my situation. I met a guy at my new job which I started about a year ago. He recently had gotten engaged to someone else that we both work with. He and I would flirt around a bit but I always figured it was just for fun. One night many drinks later we started fooling around. Eventually we found ourself at a hotel...need I say more? We've been carrying on this "affair" for about 7 months. Obviously it has progressed into something more than an affair. He's told me that he loves me and not her. They haven't had sex in 8 months due to a medical condition that she has. He doesn't want to marry her, he's just too much of a coward to end a seven year relationship. He's getting married at the beginning of September and I am crushed. He has told me that he doesn't want to end our relationship after he gets married. He even wants me to move into his apartment complex so that he can stay overnight more conviently then we do now (the future bride works nights at a different job now). I'm starting to feel very badly for her. I'm holding back these strong urges to tell her about our affair. I feel bad that she is marrying someone who has no intention from the beginning of being faithful to her. If I was in her position, I'd want to know. Eventhough I do love this guy, I know that he isn't the one I would want to end up with in the end. I know I wouldn't be able to trust him. Do I tell her about his cheating ways? Do I cut him off? Please someone give me some advice. I need to talk to people who have been though something like this before. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I think he's full of BS. Please re read your post. You sound like the worst kind of sucker-if he loved you more, he would have left her already. Tell you what. Give him the ultimatum-she knows by Friday by your word or I'm telling her. See what he says. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Hi, I agree with Mr.Spock on this, he wants his cake and eat it too. I can not believe that he said to you he doesn't love the person he is supossed to be marrying and doesn't want to stop seeing you after he is married..WTF?? You should cut all ties with him, this is not healthy at all. Not only that but, its very likely he will do this to you with someone else, if someone else comes along that catches his eye. Sounds like a player to me. Don't allow yourself to be played any longer, cut the ties now. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
ICantStopLovinHim Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Sorry but I agree with the two of them get out now... Nothing good will come of a man who will still go through with this marriage and say he doesn't love her I dont believe it for one minute sounds to me he is more than just a coward.....You said you would never be able to trust him because he is cheating on her right? I think that is a good thing to remember i was the one cheating on my MM with my current boyfriend and we have been together almost two years and guess what? Among other issuses we have this relationship is going to hell becuase of my past he has never ever ever trusted me. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I wish this were a made up story, but sadly it appears all too plausible. I really love the part about how you "move into his apartment building" for his greater extramarital convenience - I would hate for him to have to walk through the cold and get in the car and drive somewhere to shag you when he could just walk down the hall and keep his feet dry. We've been carrying on this "affair" for about 7 months. Obviously it has progressed into something more than an affair. Obviously it has progressed into this creep wanting to see just what he can get away with. If you must have a sleazy affair, at least have it with someone who is WORTH the sneaking and cheating! This guy is a loser who is playing you for a MAJOR fool. If I were you, I would flick him away like the booger he is and go find myself a REAL man. Don't bother telling the fiancee - her life and her self-delusions are NONE of your business. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I agree with Mr. Spock, give him a deadline and then if he doesn't tell her - you should. Wouldn't you like to know if you were getting married in a few months? Save this poor girl from making a huge life mistake! That would be more honorable of you. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts