Neo Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 The girl I like is usually viewed at as an outcast; not a girl I would normally bring to my parents. Physically people find her ugly bc she does not wear makeup (even though she looks really good with it on), and her sense of humor is a bit unorthodox. However we have a very good connection and I just want to know how you can have close relationships with people who are not accepted very often. That and she is not poor, but she is definitely not up to the level of my parents. Her parents are not exactly intelligent people so I don't know how "good" her family is overall. Anyways, what is your input? Link to post Share on other sites
Kizzyfur Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Who cares what other people think. If YOU like her, go out with her. Don't let what other people might think cause you to miss out on something that could be the best thing to happen for you. Heh, I'm not one of the "beautiful" ones myself. My BF doesn't agree about that though. He's always saying I'm beautiful and that he doesn't care what anyone else might think about me. My advice to you would be; don't live your life by someone elses standards. It's YOUR life, not theirs. Do what you want as long as you're not hurting anyone, and don't worry about what everyone else might think. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 The girl I like is usually viewed at as an outcast; not a girl I would normally bring to my parents. Well, I don't see what her being an 'outcast' has to do with making her the kind of girl you wouldn't normally bring to meet your parents. Especially if... Physically people find her ugly bc she does not wear makeup. ... that is why she is isn't accepted by her peers. Who cares if she doesn't wear makeup? (even though she looks really good with it on) I hope you don't overlook her natural beauty. However we have a very good connection and I just want to know how you can have close relationships with people who are not accepted very often. By not caring so much about what other people think. That and she is not poor, but she is definitely not up to the level of my parents. This matters how? She can help this how? And how old are you anyway? Her parents are not exactly intelligent people so I don't know how "good" her family is overall. Why do you think they aren't intelligent people? Because they didn't go to college, or something? Just to clue you in, your education has nothing to do with your "goodness". Anyways, what is your input? 1). If you like this girl, get to know her and see what happens. 2). Don't be shallow. 3). Sometimes you have to ignore society. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
avsguy01 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Funny this topic comes up. My girlfriend is not the most attractive girl in the batch. Meaning she isnt a model or what society sees as the perfect woman model. To me i think my girlfriend is pretty. She has an adorable smile, long soft hair, str8 teeth, and generally has something sexy about her that i am attracted to thats unexplainable. She doesnt wear make-up, never has, never will. She dresses in blue jeans, rock and roll shirts, american eagle type clothes, wears chucks from time to time and hoody sweat shirts. Is this your typical female? Not in the majority of society. Ive always dated girls that were make-up freaks, dressed preppy, skanky, and generally were stuck on them selves. All those girls ended up being bitches. Either i got sick of there personality or they hurt me. So i got sick of it. I met my current gf and completely opened up to her. I accepted her for who she was. I wasnt shallow. Its the best thing i have ever done. Weve been exclusively dating for 3 months and things just keep getting better and better. I feel as though i have found someone that i am naturally emotionally attached to. Physically her touch and actions send me over the wall! Ive never had such an attraction to someone and its all because of the connection we have. My parents have pretty much showed there shallow sides. They didnt accept her the first day they met her, because she seemed so different from other girls ive dated. My dad has since come around but for some reason my mom still has a hard time accepting my girlfriend. It just goes to show how shallow people can be, and its a real shame. My girlfriend is amazing. Ive learned that she is very honest/str8 forward, trustworthy, caring, loving, funny, outgoing, spontaneous, adventurous, independent, opinion oriented, great head on shoulders (educational/goal oriented), and a few other things i could mention if i sat and thought about it more. I guess what im trying to say is i am currently living proof that you should not care what other people think. If i did and took it to heart then i would be missing out with what i have with a very special and unique person, my girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
jw32802 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 wow i went thru this, because i was not a "model" like all my ex boyfriends ex girlfriends. All his ex's were the type that had to look perfect all the time, had to go to all the nice restaurants every night. He told me that he got so tired of that because they were so high maintenance. And he loved me because he said i was so easy to get along with and if we had to go to the diner in the morning, he could just say "lets go" and it didnt take me 2 hours. The thing is, his family was so rich and his family cared about those things, they were very shallow, lots of money....so he didnt bring me around because he said they were so embarrassing. it hurt my feelings that he didnt bring me around but he was like "Jen, they will embarrass you, and that would kill me>>>And i believed him. i hate it because his new girl IS snobby like that and he does bring her around. kills me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Neo Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 DerangedAngel: They are not intelligent people because their parents have done drugs and are involved in some shady things. The money aspect does matter mainly because my parents put so much pressure on me to find a well-off, intelligent, beautiful woman from a good family but the one I like simply does not fit the mold. I am at the mercy of my parents when it comes to their wishes because when I disobey I get worked over pretty hard. I rarely invite people over to my house anymore if I can help it, because my parents usually lecture me later about what they do or don't like; they place people into stereotypical factions without even getting to know them. I don't want to be bound by the wishes of another; I want to do what I want to do, but as of this moment I don't know how I can keep a working relationship with my parents and the girl I like. Link to post Share on other sites
jw32802 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Neo i guess you made me feel better My ex says that his parents want him with a girl who has this degree, and wears these clothes and is this tall and this pretty and this rich, blah blah so he never brought me around and i always got so offended and he would say "its because i love you so much, i am so afraid if you met them you would leave me, because you would hate them". but after we broke up he met a new girl and they've been together only 3 mths and shes met them all, but i can tell from her look that shes the snobby materialistic type but it killed me that he introduced HER Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 When people first meet my hubby to be they do not care for him very much... He is the typical loud New York Yankee, he is high strung and loves attention! I am more reserved and laid back.... He is a complete opposite of my ex husband... and you know what! I love him so much.... it is not about my friends or my families approval... it is about my happiness........... and it is finally nice to say that I am happy and I feel unconditional love from this one NY loud mouth yankee............ Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 My I ask how old you are again? That's important to know before answering your questions. If you aren't 18+, I can see how your parents might try to prevent you from being with a girl you really like, if they think she is a bad influence. However, I don't think they should keep you from her because she isn't wealthy. The money aspect does matter mainly because my parents put so much pressure on me to find a well-off, intelligent, beautiful woman from a good family but the one I like simply does not fit the mold. Do you think she is intelligent? Do you think she is beautiful? Again, I don't think her wealth (or, lack of) should determine whether or not it is acceptable for you to date her. They are not intelligent people because their parents have done drugs and are involved in some shady things. I hope they have looked for help to end their drug use. What other shady things are they involved in? Cheers. -DA Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Money is dirty...it is green and you can always make more.................. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Neo Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 I am 17. The "shady" things I speak of I do not fully know; it is just what the girl had told me (mainly pertaining to her mother). How can I have working relationships with everyone in this situation (parents and the girl)? Link to post Share on other sites
avsguy01 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Just dont care what anyone else says! If you truly like the girl go for it! Heres a question. Would you rather be with someone you dont like that has been picked for you to date, or be with someone who you picked that you like but have other people not particulary care for her. I believe you should go with what your want, its your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts