traveler990 Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Hello there, I am new to this forum but felt like I needed some answers. My situation is I am in my mid 20s and my husband is in his early 30s I have been wanting us to start a family soon but he just refuses to hear about it completely changing the subject every time I mention it! Some detail we have been together since I was 17 & and married now for 3.5 years. Our family from both sides is anticipating for us to start a family. One thing that very much hurt me my husband told me recently if I was ever to get pregnant & refused to have abortion he would run far away. He doesn't want anything to do with it. One other thing he has had an obsession with porn since the beginning when we started dating and it has never stoped. Should I leave him? I suggested divorce but he refuses to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
MCMLXXXIX Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 When there is talk of porn in a relationship, I personally feel uneasy. When one partner is into it more than the other, it can be very problematic. Unless porn is used as a tool to improve sex life, it borders cheating. The fact that your husband would run away if ever you were to get pregnant is deplorable. You obviously seem to want to have his consent first, before getting pregnant, so I do not see why he would have to say such a thing. You're going to have to confront him on the subject of pornography and starting a family. His behavior is immature. Bear in mind that divorce would be a huge step to take, but it might be a possibility. Is he the only man you were ever in a relationship with? Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Didn't you discuss if and when you would have children BEFORE you got married? If he has a real porn addiction, you should bail if he doesn't address it. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Why has he not had a vasectomy if he is adamant about no children? Also, why would you want a child by a man who wants nothing to do with a child? What your family expects and your desires may never be the same. I guess if you cannot reach agreement, you'll move on to find a potential father for your child. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Hello there, I am new to this forum but felt like I needed some answers. My situation is I am in my mid 20s and my husband is in his early 30s I have been wanting us to start a family soon but he just refuses to hear about it completely changing the subject every time I mention it! Some detail we have been together since I was 17 & and married now for 3.5 years. Our family from both sides is anticipating for us to start a family. One thing that very much hurt me my husband told me recently if I was ever to get pregnant & refused to have abortion he would run far away. He doesn't want anything to do with it. One other thing he has had an obsession with porn since the beginning when we started dating and it has never stoped. Should I leave him? I suggested divorce but he refuses to hear. So many red flags, I have a complete string of bunting, here....! Tell both families you are leaving him - and tell them why, too. If you bring it out in the open, he will be less in a position to be able to control you. Explain to them that he is being a complete bully and using emotional blackmail to PREVENT you from having children - and that he disrespects you by favouring porn over your intimacy.... Leave - and leave - NOW. Your mother will take you back. Who wouldn't, under these circumstances...?! Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Since when do adult women need permission to divorce? It is I suppose presumed that financial stability is not his reluctance? I'm not quite understanding his his use of pornography is in any way related to the child or no child issue. I get that you have it as a complaint but how is it any part of your desire for a pregnancy? Link to post Share on other sites
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